Rude and heartless I will not stand for

[ShellyRenee]

Good evening to all,

I just wanted to give all a thank you for the kind words you sent my direction. Feeling sad and blue is a true bummer but when there are others out there that say hang in there and we are thinking of you kinda lifts one up. So BIG BIG thanks! :wink:
For Pat, I would love to take you up on a phone chat. I will email you with my telephone number. Thank you for opening that door of communication.
For Al, I do agree with you of going to these support meetings but unfortunately my family (children) don't understand. I have a 17 yr. old daughter, need I say anymore? Also a 8 yr. old little boy who is my million dollar man who has been through 3 open heart surgeries and he is developementally delayed. Finally, a 4 yr. old little girl who is full of being a little girl. It's like a juggling act somedays. Being pulled this way and then that way it's no wonder I feel like rubber somedays. :lol: My sanity time is when the children (younger two) go to bed @ 8:00, ahh some days I long for their bedtime. :wink:
Now for "Rude and Heartless", today I finally had enough. The Hospice nurse who was assigned to be moms case worker/nurse she is no longer. She has seemed to me to be Rude and Heartless, but was it me being too sensitive? After this morning she came out to the house and treated us (dad and I) as if we were stupid and we were taking up HER precious time. Bottom line I AM MOMS ADVOCATE! Treat mom as if she was her mom. Now I am not asking her to sob all over her but when we have a question answer us with kindness and see if we understand. She was like the wicked mean teacher we all feared, the one who told you once how to do something and don't you dare ask again. Yes we did ask for Hospice but we did not ask for Mom to be dealt this hand, so we must do the best we can. Mom would not really say anything about this nurse. If I'd ask her what her feelings are she would just shrug her shoulders and say "Whatever". So it's over, no more dreading the nurse to come out. Kinda a strtange, when it was time for her to leave she would change her manners and say "would it be ok if I came out next week?" Not anymore.
The site for moms feeding tube is infected, no way huh? Just another hurdle and we will get over this one. I said to mom the yesterday, "maybe in a few days you will feel comfortable with doing your own tube feedings" she muttered out to me that her fingers are too weak to flip open the cap. Ahh, another chip away at my heart. So I will continue to make a couple trips to their house to do this for her. She will let dad do it only if I can not make it over. Today before I left dad came in from outside and said it was time for her PulmoCare and antibiotic she would not let him and insisted that I do it before leaving. That's ok with me because I look at it as she is getting more comfortable with the tube.
Does this roller coaster ever slow down or tapper off? Seems like things are moving real fast.
Time for me to turn in myself. Big day tomorrow as me and Eden (my youngest) are going on a field trip with her preschool class to the pumpkin farm. Yea, a slight change of the routine, I am excited. No worry Dad is covering for me. :wink:

Good night and sweet dreams,
Shelly

 

[Jackie1966]

Rude and Heartless I will not stand for

Shelly you shouldn't stand for that from a hospice nurse .I am a hospice home health aide from Tulsa, Oklahoma. The nurses I have worked with at the company I am at is wonderful ;its locally owned not a big hospice but we are growing keep being your moms advocate try maybe a local hospice not a corporation. local hospice companies look at the patient and the family and treat them both and are there for the questions and all the good bedside manner things, corporate hospices only look at the dollar amount and not the patient keep being a the advocate for your Mom shelly personally I like to call it being a Pit bull for your Mom and Shelly thats a good thing Jackie

 

[ShellyRenee]

rude and heartless cont.

Jackie:

Thank you for your kind reassuring words. I have to stop myself at times to think am I just being too sensitive, but no my Mom does not deserve this. This cruel worldwind of a disease or rude insensitive people. As far as the Hospice at choice well there is NO CHOICE thanks to the good old insurance co. that my parents have. Might I add I have had to get their attension also. I'm sure they really don't give a rip but I feel better. Pit Bull, my brother has had two of them and they were gentle sweet doggy dogs. So if I may I will choose to be the one that these rotten people have abused and they are now anger crazy PITBULLS. Rrr
Jackie thank you for being the kind sensitive one out there dealing with our loved ones. Care to move to Wisconsin? :lol:

Take care,
Shelly

 

[Snowbird]

Hi Shelly! I would be very happy to phone you any time. I had a bad day myself yesterday. Various reasons. I think my kids 28 & 30, and having a very tough time with the loss of their father, and in true fashion, they take it out on good ole mom (Mean Old Mother).

Hang in there. you are doing great. Enjoy your field day and maybe we can chat tomorrow night. I have a few ideas for you.

Sincerely, Pat [email protected]

 

[Jackie1966]

rude and hartless I will not stand for

Shelly you are welcome if you cant choose the hospice make a complaint with the hospice that that hartless nurse works for and demand someone else because even though you are the daughter you have as much right to ask for a different nurse as your mother and father and you can also ask their social worker to come out and you can tell her or him what kind of person you want taking care of your Mother me as a hospice aide my Mom is my constant teacher I was a full on .itch when it came to the caregivers that took care of my Mom in California. One week after she died of skin cancer she was accepted by hospice too much red tape B.S there,anyways I am a pitbull when it comes to my patients and family of my patient and it just chaps my rear to come accross heartless nurses :x Shelly as far as moving up there its too cold up ther lol I don't handle that much cold I am a woose lol take care Jackie

 

[Timshelper]

Dear Shelley,
Isn't always the way one bad apple spoils it for the rest and unfortunatly for you and your mom you got the worm. People like this usually have issues of their own that they cannot deal with and take it out on other people. Always hold your own and definitly report this to someone so this person can be dealt accordingly. I myself have come across people like this too and you just weed then out because there are many flowers out their just ready to blossom with you and your mother with compassion, reassurance and love . I never have understood why people get into this line of work unless they love what they do. Please do not give up hope you will find a really good suppport system in fact you already have just by being part of the family forum. Welcome my freind.
Kim ALS About Loving Someone

 

[Snowbird]

Hi Kim! You are likely right. And sometimes just taking them aside and simply asking them if there is a problem gives them an opportunity to get it off their chest. Sometimes they gain a whole new respect for you afterwards because you showed them that you cared. Sometimes.

Pat

 

[Timshelper]

Hi Pat,
I agree withyour last statement "sometimes"! Thats why sometimes you have to go over their head and if that doesnt work its because they have some kind of pull whether it being senority or they make us look like the bad guy. It is unfortunate but we do have aternatives by not dealing with the particular person anymore or taking our buisness elsewhere if we can. Personal care is becoming more and more prevalent as the years go by and hopefully the people entering this type of career will be screened more efficiently then just grabbing any one of the street.
Kim ALS About Loving Someone