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Kaye,

I look back now and wish I had noted when certain things had happened. I can kind of recreate them by remembering what else we were doing at the time. For Darcey, movement with the walker was becoming more and more scary a proposition. So we moved to a scooter (Oct 2013). The scooter worked so well that we got a second one just to leave upstairs (Nov 2013). The timing was good as it became more and more difficult to stand. I would lift her by hooking my arm under her arm and using my height to raise her to a standing position. I'd then help her pivot (sometimes by moving her feet) 45 degrees to where she wanted to sit (bed, commode, etc). By Dec, we'd had a fall in the hospital parking lot after an IVIG session while trying to transfer from scooter to the front seat in our van. It took 3 of us to get her up... but her legs wouldn't hold her upright enough to turn and sit in the car. Ultimately we called for an ambulance to get her home... and again for the to/from for the next day's IVIG at the hospital. In December we got her PWC... but still, transfers from it to the front seat in the van were becoming more and more difficult and scary. We had two more falls... both surprised us and I was able to ease her to the ground without her getting too hurt (legs always bend the wrong way). In January, she was no longer able to lock her legs reliably on standing... and we purchased an Odyssey with the BraunAbility conversion. Now, instead of transferring, we backed her into the van and up into the front passenger area while still in her PWC. What a wonderful change that brought! We also started using the Hoyer lift or "Jim Bear Hugs" for any transfer. No more standing... it just wasn't safe. And for us, the transfer board never really worked.

It looks like you're both attacking this well. For us it was important to identify that a change was occurring and to recognize what we needed to move to (or do) BEFORE we most needed it and/or she got hurt. Keep up the good work!

Jim
 
Kaye, I'm glad my words were a help. It's so hard to let go and let others but I've come to the realization that in the long run I get to keep more of my freedom longer. We're all in this together
 
Dalvin, I read your honest words to my hubby tonight, as well. And he agreed that safety prolongs freedom! I have been the one checking the forum for ideas, advice and then sharing with him, and he has actually begun to check it out occassionally . What a resource and reaffirmation that others are experiencing the same feelings and changes. Thanks again to everyone for sharing so generously. Donna
 
The kids will come to their own place about it, and you can't do much about that.

Chris's oldest daughter I'm sure has many things that she has either half said or not said to me, and I have to let her deal with them. If she wants to ever involve me in that I'm ready, but we can only do so much.

Of course they want to see grumpy as that man. We want to as well, but the reality keeps slapping us too hard ...

You are doing so brilliantly, and moving forward now with grumpy acknowledging the importance of safety, so take that and work on that and let his kids work on their own issues.

We can only be ready to help and work with them, we can't make them come to any place of acceptance, so we have to let some of that go.

Yay Dalvin, you have so much to offer!

Actually of course everyone here does, the collective information we generate is far greater than the sum of words.
 
Funny you say that Dalvin, my husband said the same thing the other day. That he knew in trying to plan ahead, I was trying to preserve his freedom. Its taken him a long time to get there.(having said that, its only 4 months post diagnosis so I guess its relative but it sure seems a long time to me)
 
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