GH23
New member
- Joined
- Dec 26, 2012
- Messages
- 1
- Reason
- CALS
- Diagnosis
- 10/0000
- Country
- Ire
- State
- Limerick
- City
- Limerick
Hi,
My mum has been diagnosed with ALS for 10 weeks now, and in this space we have gone from being relatively mobile, able to go up the stairs slowly to now where we have a stairlift and all movement outside the house is in a wheelchair. It is progressing very quickly.
I have noticed some behavioural changes in my mum. For instance, it is difficult for her to get up off a settee, and even though we have offered to get her a new armchair she refuses to listen to anything we say. She now sits on a roll-ator which has no back support but she steadfastily refuses to change absolutely anything. Her partner left her during this time as he could not handle her abusive and dangerous behaviour. I saw how she picked every little part of him apart and the mans blood pressure wasnt able for the amount of stress imposed.
This anger has now turned on me, as the primary care-giver. It is the exact same process, picking every little thing I do, demanding one job and while you are doing that you are requested to do another one and shouted at. It is very intense. Its as if all the problems she feels are being taken out on me. I have been called every name you can think of, I am gay and have been called a pansy, a ******,a bastard, that I talk like a woman etc etc etc It is extremely vindictive and hurtful and it is intended to be so, but there is absolutely no empathy. It is progressively getting worse, just a few days ago she threw a phone charger across the room. I am constantly on edge, I have addressed it with my doctor who is helping me get through with medication.
I have researched the symptoms and I am really worried that FTD may be involved. I am engaging with the health care proffessionals but she thinks that we are speaking behind her back and has demanded everything goes through her. (Even though she refused to engage with them at the beginning and they had no choice but to liaise with me ) Now I feel that I am being abused by someone suffering from a serious disease, and my options for support are not available. I was not allowed to meet with the MND consultant at our last meeting so I have now been pushed on the outside. Again, this is similar to the behaviour with her partner initially.
Can I ask if anyone has experienced this kind of behaviour? I do not respond to arguments and walk away, but there are times where she is so worked up I cannot come back into the house. I try to disengage but she will push and push and push. I suggested a while back that she should try a course of anti-depressants to lift her mood, we want to spend quality happy time together, but she feels that tablets are for failures, even though she is obviously severely affected.
Any advice, tips, etc would be great. Every day is a living hell, i care for a 90yo grandmother part time, as well as take my 13yo son, Im just not able for the abuse
GH
My mum has been diagnosed with ALS for 10 weeks now, and in this space we have gone from being relatively mobile, able to go up the stairs slowly to now where we have a stairlift and all movement outside the house is in a wheelchair. It is progressing very quickly.
I have noticed some behavioural changes in my mum. For instance, it is difficult for her to get up off a settee, and even though we have offered to get her a new armchair she refuses to listen to anything we say. She now sits on a roll-ator which has no back support but she steadfastily refuses to change absolutely anything. Her partner left her during this time as he could not handle her abusive and dangerous behaviour. I saw how she picked every little part of him apart and the mans blood pressure wasnt able for the amount of stress imposed.
This anger has now turned on me, as the primary care-giver. It is the exact same process, picking every little thing I do, demanding one job and while you are doing that you are requested to do another one and shouted at. It is very intense. Its as if all the problems she feels are being taken out on me. I have been called every name you can think of, I am gay and have been called a pansy, a ******,a bastard, that I talk like a woman etc etc etc It is extremely vindictive and hurtful and it is intended to be so, but there is absolutely no empathy. It is progressively getting worse, just a few days ago she threw a phone charger across the room. I am constantly on edge, I have addressed it with my doctor who is helping me get through with medication.
I have researched the symptoms and I am really worried that FTD may be involved. I am engaging with the health care proffessionals but she thinks that we are speaking behind her back and has demanded everything goes through her. (Even though she refused to engage with them at the beginning and they had no choice but to liaise with me ) Now I feel that I am being abused by someone suffering from a serious disease, and my options for support are not available. I was not allowed to meet with the MND consultant at our last meeting so I have now been pushed on the outside. Again, this is similar to the behaviour with her partner initially.
Can I ask if anyone has experienced this kind of behaviour? I do not respond to arguments and walk away, but there are times where she is so worked up I cannot come back into the house. I try to disengage but she will push and push and push. I suggested a while back that she should try a course of anti-depressants to lift her mood, we want to spend quality happy time together, but she feels that tablets are for failures, even though she is obviously severely affected.
Any advice, tips, etc would be great. Every day is a living hell, i care for a 90yo grandmother part time, as well as take my 13yo son, Im just not able for the abuse
GH