sleepy
Distinguished member
- Joined
- Dec 4, 2015
- Messages
- 119
- Reason
- PALS
- Diagnosis
- 01/2016
- Country
- AUS
- State
- NSW
- City
- Armidale
I'm 6 months in. I've tried to be positive to friends and extended family. It's ok... I'm staying positive. Because what else can you say? And most of the time it's true.
I've tried to keep a brave face for my kids. Mummies hands don't work very well... Yes, Mummy is very slow. Why did you fall over?
I've tried to stay positive and express my gratitude to my cals. I know it's hard. And I do appreciate everything. But I am tired of the fight every time I question or remind or disagree.
But today, I've done all I can.
I'm sorry it's tough, but believe me, it's going to get harder. How am I supposed to believe it's all going to be manageable then, when you get so cranky now? And even so, try to remember that it's at least as hard for me.
I'm struggling to respond to comments that I appear too well to guests and then exhale with exhaustion when they leave. Of course I put my best face on! And then on days when I just can't you get frustrated that I don't want to go anywhere or do anything (when we know it's not chair accessible).
I hate getting left in the car for an hour or more while you get things done. Because you made an executive decision. I hate that when we take the manual chair you leave me and wander off. I hate that when instead of complaining, which would be met with defensiveness, I choose to get taken home first, that also pisses you off.
I hate that you made me cancel the appointment for the ez lock installation and now complain that it's such a hassle to get the power chair in and out with tie down straps.
It makes me so mad that you complain that you can't do what you want to do because you are doing stuff for the family. I get scared when I stand up that I might fall. Again. How much do you think I get to do what I want? I can't pour myself a drink!
And when I got so mad about everything being done to your timetable and to your priorities and I asked to be taken into town, once, apparently I didn't ask the right way, or my tone was wrong.
I hate that 2 nights ago you talked about supporting each other and I started to feel the cloud lifting and then today you screamed at me over something from last Monday until I sobbed and begged indecipherably for you to stop.
I'm sorry your life sucks. Try not to forget mine sucks too.
I've tried to keep a brave face for my kids. Mummies hands don't work very well... Yes, Mummy is very slow. Why did you fall over?
I've tried to stay positive and express my gratitude to my cals. I know it's hard. And I do appreciate everything. But I am tired of the fight every time I question or remind or disagree.
But today, I've done all I can.
I'm sorry it's tough, but believe me, it's going to get harder. How am I supposed to believe it's all going to be manageable then, when you get so cranky now? And even so, try to remember that it's at least as hard for me.
I'm struggling to respond to comments that I appear too well to guests and then exhale with exhaustion when they leave. Of course I put my best face on! And then on days when I just can't you get frustrated that I don't want to go anywhere or do anything (when we know it's not chair accessible).
I hate getting left in the car for an hour or more while you get things done. Because you made an executive decision. I hate that when we take the manual chair you leave me and wander off. I hate that when instead of complaining, which would be met with defensiveness, I choose to get taken home first, that also pisses you off.
I hate that you made me cancel the appointment for the ez lock installation and now complain that it's such a hassle to get the power chair in and out with tie down straps.
It makes me so mad that you complain that you can't do what you want to do because you are doing stuff for the family. I get scared when I stand up that I might fall. Again. How much do you think I get to do what I want? I can't pour myself a drink!
And when I got so mad about everything being done to your timetable and to your priorities and I asked to be taken into town, once, apparently I didn't ask the right way, or my tone was wrong.
I hate that 2 nights ago you talked about supporting each other and I started to feel the cloud lifting and then today you screamed at me over something from last Monday until I sobbed and begged indecipherably for you to stop.
I'm sorry your life sucks. Try not to forget mine sucks too.