Random Thoughts About Anything

[KimT]

Sometimes I feel in a rush to get things done while I can still do them. It's almost like I have two personalities. One just wants to sit around, eat, surf the Internet, and watch TV. The other one wants to publish again, go on a weekend retreat, and buy that ticket to visit cousins up North.

I'm also having a hard time being around some of my friends. They abuse their bodies and take their health for granted. I sat at a card table tonight and I was the only person at the table not overweight. Three were morbidly obese. Three out of six had type 2 diabetes. Four out of six had very serious heart issues. These are relatively new friends. The friends I played sports with, hiked with, scuba & traveled with have pretty much moved on because they're still doing all that stuff.

I really miss my old life. I only regret I worked too hard and played too little.

I'm still very grateful for the things I can do but it is hard to give up those things I loved so much.

I think a huge part of it is I have no family or no significant other (that is by choice.) I think it would be a lot easier if I were surrounded by kids, grandkids, and a large extended family. Maybe.

I decided to sponsor another child in Haiti through Compassion International. At least it feels like I'm doing something for someone.

 

[Clearwater AL]

Kim, support, embrace and enjoy your new friends. A lot of people don't have six friends that would join together to play cards. Try hard to accept/ignore their faults.
Friendship is a gift.

Most of the friends I had just 10 years ago (job/hobbies/social) have moved on.

My new favorite saying... "Nothing stays the same." (NSTS) New acronym.

 

[Atsugi]

see meetup dot com
get new friends

 

[Annabelledingdong]

Kim,

I like the "maybe" at then end of of the fifth sentence. A friend of mine often quotes a Buddhist priest she watches on Youtube: "There is single suffering and there is married suffering". I can't replicate the accent, but when she says this it always makes me laugh. Mostly, it makes me laugh at myself for navel gazing - one of my favourite pastimes - and the truth that relationships are deeply uncomfortable.

I alternate between self pity and gratitude at least five times a day.

Hope you have a chance to visit family up North. I'm planning a trip to the Gaspe region of Quebec this summer - not the 25th wedding anniversary trip I had in mind last year, but a beautiful part of Canada.

ALS encourages me to be flexible and adaptable.

 

[wishmobbing]

Kim, because you share your life so generously with us I already feel like extended family.

Maybe better to not have kids than have kids that are far away or not interested in helping.

 

[KimT]

Thanks for the replies. I really started this thread so others could post what's on their minds. Random thoughts anyone?

 

[KimT]

I've met lots of people in my new condo. I do enjoy them. We've eaten together, exercised in the pool together, and even have a weekly Friday night Canasta party together. Most of them are snowbirds but I've met some very interesting people from other countries. Most of them are older and I love hearing about their adventures and how and why they ended up in Daytona Beach Shores.

Sometimes I miss the intellectual stimulation from work. Then I remind myself that I no longer have to check my e-mail at 5am, go to boring, unproductive meetings on campus or deal with administrators who have never taught in a college classroom.

Al, Thanks for the reminder. I am blessed to have friends. Sometimes I think I have too much time to ponder these things. I'm not used to a sedentary life.

 

[Clearwater AL]

I belong to two large military web sites with Forums. I also belong to a couple of local organizations and this is something I’ve noticed…

Today friendships can sometimes be difficult to navigate. With the Internet, Email, Facebook and such a circle of friends today can be much larger than years ago.

The tangible friends you have are local, not hundreds of miles or states away that
you can actually interact with face to face, hug to hug, hand shake and look in their eyes.

Along with that, comes cliques. Within social groups, hobbies, organizations, clubs, local activities and even church groups where you may join to expand your friends base… probably have cliques.

Forums too.

Too often cliques cause people to be untrue to themselves so they “Go along to get along” just to be with the “in” ones. They’ll shun interaction or agree with those “outside” the clique, or may share something with… not to have the clique nip behind them with a text message. Or… a PM.

For some their theme song should be that tune from the 80s or 90s by Dobie Grey.
“I’m in with the in crowd… I go where the in crowd goes.”

So today it takes more thought application to gather a circle of true friends you trust. Local or Internet.

 

[KarenNWendyn]

I see three categories of friends: local friends (and family); non-local friends (whom you've actually met in person); and internet friends.

One of my current goals is to strengthen and solidify my network of friends.

I think all three categories are important and capable of providing support. However, in terms of the potential to be there for you, I’d say local friends > non-local friends > internet friends. Family is in its own category, but they are most helpful if they are local. Acquaintances are bst if they are local. Then they might become friends.

ALS can be very isolating, especially in its more advanced stages. That’s when it becomes especially important to have a network of family and friends, particularly if they are local.

I have never been much of a social butterfly, and i don't have a big family. So this is a big challenge for me.

 

[whereswaldo]

I see the friend groups a little differently.
First there is the "old friends" people from the old country even if you only moved across town. This group can stay the same most of our lives, but if you really look back, this group has gotten smaller over the years just do to normal life.

Next we have the common friends, people that come and go throughout life and help along the way. Sometimes this group can be important as we go through every day life.

Next we have the "What the Hell" group, this group is from different parts of our lives. For some it may be a rebellious time, others it may have been trying to get away from a rebellious life or somewhere in between. This person would not fit into our normal everyday life.

Next the new friend group, this group has come and gone and changed through out our whole lives. I think it's the most important group because they can fill in everywhere.

Last and most important, "True friends", they will be with you no matter what is going on or happening in either of your lives.

y

 

[KimT]

My niece, whom I only see once a year, made a very accurate observation about me. She said I was the ring master of the island of misfit toys. By that she meant that people who were in need came to me for help. Then they stayed around because I was always there to keep them going. I still have people who call me for medical, financial, relationship, and other advice. Frequently. One, a friend of nearly 40 years, called a few months back convinced she had ALS because her back hurt at work and her legs felt weak. Her husband's father died from ALS and she is terrified to be around me in person. I suggested she get a lumbar MRI and, sure enough, she had some issues and PT is helping. Then another new friend called for my help in her divorce. She wanted a CPA who could do an estate appraisal for free because she was broke and thought her estranged husband was hiding money from her. Sometimes these incidents make me laugh and other times I cry.

I need to go back to a counselor. The last one I had asked me to edit his book and get him a part-time job at the college teaching DEATH AND DYING. I couldn't make this s### up if I tried. :lol: