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shellshell

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I have a quick question on emotions that follow with ALS. As many of you know my dad was diagnosed in February 07 with ALS and up until recently he's taken it much better than I believe I would have. He had such an eagerness to fight this disease with all he has but recently he's been very....um....standoffish...he's almost rude which is NOT like my dad at all! I do everything I can to help them and I still feel like it's just not enough. We had my nephews birthday party over there this past weekend and he was just so "ugly" to most of us, me especially. I don't know if this is just a phase he is going thru or what, I know he's entitled to have his sad, angry, mad, hurt depressed days with this disease but I guess I just take it to personnal when he's short with me or says things out of context for him.

Any ideas? Am I just reading too much into this or does this go with the territory? Is there any advise you all can give me to help him thru this time? I want to make things so much better for he and my mom but no matter how hard I try, I feel like I am fighting a loosing battle, it's like those rooms in the movies where all four walls start slowly closing in on you all at once. Most days are like that for my family lately....sometimes, it's just more than one person can take...

Thanks for letting me get this off my chest this morning, it's been a weight that just got too heavy to carry anylonger....and, I needed to make room for anything that comes up this week! LOL

Love you guys!
Michelle (shellShell)
 

CindyM

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Hi Michelle- personally, I would not be surprised if everybody in the family might be on an emotional roller-coaster. Other PALS and CALS often recommend face-to-face support groups and/or anti-anxiety meds or meds for depression. Probably for good reason! :-D

Hope your day gets better as it goes along. Just remember- you are doing the best you can under trying circumstances! Regards, Cindy
 

brooksea

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Michelle,

Like Cindy said, it is a roller coaster that all who are affected cannot stop or get off until the disease runs it's course.

My husband is the same way. There is no warning either. My PALS is going back on antidepressants to help with this problem. Thank goodness he himself has recognized his behavior and feelings.

I'm sure your Dad probably feels guilty after he treats you badly but has trouble dealing with this since he is already dealing with such difficulty. I hope you can find something to bring a little cheer to him on a personal level. Perhaps he was thinking to himself during the birthday party that he may not have many more parties to go to and this in turn made him hateful and bitter.

Good luck!
 

Al

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Hi Michelle. Your dad may have just really came to realise how bad this thing really is. The acceptance of this usually goes in stages. This could be his anger stage. If it continues for more than a week or 2 he may need to talk to his doctor about some help whether support groups or meds.
AL.
 

davis08

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michelle

Als it makes you feel bad all the time, after you have
it for awhile. I dont no about the rest, but I dont think
I could make it with out my pills to keep calm. Then I
cant still feel good but I do keep to my self when I feel
the worst.

Davis
 

shellshell

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Thank you so much....

Thank you all for replying to my post. I keep telling myself that as hard as this is for me, it has to be so much worse for my parents. They've been married for 38 years and I can see such a decline in my mom as well as my dad.

My dad is on a lot of medication already, depression meds, anxiety meds, blood pressure, sleeping meds, you name it (as well as my mom and I too...:?: ) I know that each of you have bad days too I just wish my dad could see that he can still "live" with ALS, yes, this disease will eventually take him "home" but, while he's here I want him to "LIVE"...

I am so close to my parents, and I've struggled so much within myself to just try to find some inner peace with this. My dad is only 59 and I never thought at almost 35 I would be dealing with this.

My husband and I are closer to our adoption and hopefully will have a child by the end of the year so I only hope that will bring him as much happiness as it will my husband and I.

You all are wonderful and thank you for your continued support!

Michelle
 

brooksea

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Michelle,

That is so wonderful about your adoption! It could very well lighten your Dad's spirits. Sorry if you have posted this on another thread, but are you adopting locally? Is there any way you could involve your Dad in the process, such as bringing the baby home from the hospital? Or going to court to finalize the adoption? Even naming the baby?
 

shellshell

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We are actually adopting thru the state agencies which is local. He's definatly been a huge part of our adoption. We've been working on it for a couple of years and for the longest time, no activity, then all of a sudden (after my dad's diagnosis) the adoption stuff started full steam, I think someone above had a hand in that one! :-D

But I really want this to move along quickly because we don't have children and it is VERY important for my dad to see my children and be a part of their lives. My parents only live a few minutes from me so of course I am there everyday visiting which always ends with me massaging his legs and feet, he's so spoiled....LOL I wouldn't trade it for the world though, no matter how tired I am or if my feelings have been hurt or not, I'll be there, always!

No regrets...that's my motto.....No regrets...

Michelle
 

CindyM

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a new baby sound exiciting, Michelle. Be sure to tell us more as the day approaches! We can all use some good news around here! Cindy
 
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