Question for the wives

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Distinguished member
Mar 17, 2005
I have a question for all of the wives who have dealt or are dealing with a spouse that has ALS. How do you keep it from changing your marriage? I see my mom and dad (my dad has the ALS) and it seems like their marriage has become one of husband and nurse rather than husband and wife. My parents have always had an extremely close and intimate relationship. I now see my mom getting easily frustrated with my dad, and she is starting to look worn out. I mentioned to her that maybe she might want to get a nurse to help out, but she says no. My mom gives my dad medication through an iv in the morning and at night for about half an hour. On weekends, he takes an oral antibiotic. (the antibiotics are for the lymes treatments he is receiving) My dad is up and about with golf, goes for walks, etc. The ALS has not effected his arms or legs yet. He has the bulbar form, and has difficulties with his speech. His thinking process seems a little off sometimes too. He has to think about things longer than he used to. I don't know if he is thinking about the easiest way to say things, since it is so difficult to get words out, but it takes him a while. I know this frustrates my mom, but she is trying to be the super hero and not complain. I can see it in her eyes though, and I know this is changing their marriage. (not necessarily for the worse, but it is just different) I was hoping some of you might be able to give me suggestions that I could pass along to my mom. Maybe some ideas on how to adjust to this new lifestyle, and how to keep the spark going with a "sick" spouse. I would appreciate any help. Thanks in advance.
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