Post-Death Instructions

KarenNWendyn

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OR
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Southern Oregon
All PALS should have an Advance Directive specifying end of life wishes and a will or trust. I think it is also helpful to survivors to prepare post-death instructions. This is especially important in the event of a sudden death.

What I have done in my post-death instructions is prepared a list of important names and numbers of people for my spouse to contact upon my death, such as Attorney, accountant, financial manager, insurance agent, etc. I’ve also made a list of my passwords, pin #’s, account #’s and a list of all my accounts. And even instructions and reminders for mundane things I used to do such as changing the air filters 🤪. I also wrote my obituary and some suggestions for my memorial service.

There will always be things we don’t think of, but advanced planning and clear instructions make it helpful for the survivors. Other ideas and opinions are welcome.
 

Nikki J

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MA
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Boston
This is a very loving thing to do. I think the writing out instructions for the things you do as part of a couple is very important as many couples split responsibilities. Include in that the contact info for service people if you are the one who calls these people.

my grandfather even put form letters on his computer for notifying various places - the military, his civilian pension , social security etc. i found when my dad died I could just call most places but it would have been easier and less traumatic to have the letter, add a date and send it. Funeral homes notify ss though.

be as thorough as you wish for the memorial service. My sister planned it all including hymns.

anyone who is considering donating themselves be sure the number is available easily and everyone knows. They have 24 hours after. Filling out the consent ahead of time is also helpful though it can be done at the time. However planning ahead takes a burden off your surviving loved one.

simplifying finances if yours are complicated is also helpful

thank you for bringing this up
 

orthis1

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Jan 6, 2019
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TX
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Denton
Karen you are right on point. I work as an End of Life Doula and had an ALS client a couple of years ago. He and I had a system set up in case one day he couldn’t communicate and we practiced it daily just to be sure we both knew how it worked. He had made videos with instructions and also had made it very clear to me exactly how things were to happen, who to notify first, what to say to them and what directions to give them. He even pre-purchased 10 hours of aftercare for his family and friends in case they needed direction for grief services, help distributing his belongings or just someone to talk to about their feelings.

Having as many details sorted out as possible is always the most thoughtful thing we can do for our family any friends.
 

KimT

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The Beach
I have a special drawer in my file cabinet. My housemate knows about it. We both have Wills and other important documents there. Also included is a list of my accounts, beneficiaries, contingent beneficiaries, and request for no memorial service. I wrote a brief message for my friends and relatives requesting no service, just a party if they want one.

Aside from my 84-year old brother and his wife, none of my other relatives have had anything to do with me since my diagnosis. That made re-doing my Will pretty easy.

All of my assets are either jointly held or POD. There will be no need to probate my estate and no need for an attorney. I did put an exclusion clause in my Will just in case some of the long, lost relatives try to claim my personal assets such as jewelry and household items.
 

Kristina1

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Jan 26, 2017
Messages
812
Reason
PALS
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03/2017
Country
US
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MA
City
Grafton
can you pin this?
 
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