I am glad there are people praying form me. It's really tough somedays alone with my little one the most diificult part is that my illness has really effected my memory, thinking, lately that's what I find the most difficult to deal with. The year before I got ill I lost my dad to suicide and my mom to cancer they were only 54 and 55, Sometimes I feel so alone but I just keep plugging away everyday for Jacob. I have not had an easy life but I always moved up and forward and stayed positive. I think the hard times prepared me to be this strong because most days I really don't know how I do it. I am always patient loving, happy for my son, he deserves the best start in life. I am really proud of the job I am doing with my son. I am a super perfectionist and I've had to give that up, it still drives me nuts I can't be the perfect mother but is there really such a thing? In some ways I feel lucky, I met a lady on here whose daughter has als and got it just before she was pregnant. By the time her daughter was born she couldn't walk and barely hold her, now she is having troubles breathing and I don't think she has long. Her story was similiar to mine but she is a lot worse off than me. Her mom has cancer. I couldn't believe how close her story was to mine. You can read about her at kelpkeri.com. You must hace some cute grandbabies. I have a sister that lives in Chicago she has two little boys her husband is african american and I swear little babies with their curly hair and dark skin are so beautiful. She is 24 she was just diagnosed with rheumatoid arthrits, our family has had a real rough patch, we are strong though we always get through the difficult times and I hope you are holding in there too.