please help me understand MND with relationships?

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fairybomb28

New member
Joined
Feb 12, 2015
Messages
2
Reason
Friend was DX
Diagnosis
05/2013
Country
Uk
State
Merseyside
City
Wirral
Hi, Im all new to this so ill try to get my point across as best i can, My partners dad has had MND now for 2 years and it is now progressing rapidly, he isnt a person to speak about his feelings and when i try to talk about it he changes the subject, we go to see his dad and again, we al act as if its a normal day, the relationship is not the same , i say to myself its not because of me its what hes going through? i cannot stress how much i dont want this to sound like its about me being pushed out at this time, but i need help in understanding if its normal for me and him to be distant (in love) we are always together but it feels like were not (if that makes sense:?::?:?}can anyone tell me what he might be thinking please and what i can do to help as he is not one to speak and clams up at even the word mnd?

MANY thanks in advance......x
 
Congrats on reaching out to see how you can help, we all deal with illness and facing death differently, there is no right or wrong way as we all have different life experiences behind us. Just be there for him , giving him a hug or a squeeze of his hand giving him gentle support, don't push him, he will talk when he's ready which may not be until after hid Dad passes.
We all feel helpless, your not alone , please keep coming here and your welcome to share all your feelings.
Love Gem
 
Thanks for you reply, i suppose i just feel like spare part at the mo for him, at first i felt like it was because he didnt want me but then after reading these blogs i was so happy (if thats the word) to see that its normal for him to change, i will be there a million % for him no matter how long it takes, but just didnt no what i could do to show that i am here , because sometimes i dont mention anything about his dad,but i feel like he might think im not bothered,if that makes sense? i think the whole family is just in the unknown as to what expect next, as none have dealt with such cruelty to a family member and having to see his dignity and independence slip away day by day, what do you think he is feeling to me? as in does he know he is being distant? is he unable to control this? Thanks xxx:cry:
 
Here is the thing....when someone you love has this disease, the outside world greys out. You are so focused on what is happening with your loved one, what needs to be done, phone calls and care, errands,insurance, etc. That you aren't thinking that being quiet while you try to process all of that along with the sure knowledge of death, that someone you know/love is worried because you aren't talking as much.


He is onsevere overload trying to figure it all out. The grieving process starts the day of diagnosis and each time you go thru a faster progression time, your heart breaks again.

Be patient, give him space, do things that are supportive of the family. Mow the lawn, cook a meal, clean a bathroom, grocery shop. Be useful as a means to how you care.
 
Great advice Gooseberry. I feel the opposite way. I'm the daughter of someone with ALS dealing with what everyone described and feel like I'm neglecting my own relationship. I feel distance because I'm trying to process, cope, grieve, help them from a long distance, hold down a job and don't have anything left. I feel a lot of guilt and not a lot of balance in my life right now.
 
I think everyone is different in how they deal with a parent's illness. My daughter, who is now 26, will talk to her closest friends about her dad's condition. My son, 23, doesn't. I know he talks to his girlfriend, but I am not sure how much. But he will never bring it up on his own with his other friends, even his best friend. Like the others have said, be there for him, be the best listener that you can be, and he will talk when he needs to talk.
 
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