Paul, you did your level best and Ferd knew that. He was able to pass in peace knowing how fully he was loved. It will take you time to find the peace and strength that has slipped from your grasp, but you will, and he would want that as well.
I am so very sorry for your loss. It must have been a terrible shock but it sounds like Ferd went as he wanted- peacefully and with you by his side holding his hand. He is flying free now.
He was so very lucky to have you as his faithful and loving partner. I am sending you strength and love to help you get through the coming days and weeks. Remember we are here to listen and support you whenever you need
Paul, I am so very, very sorry for your loss. I know you loved Ferd deeply and he knows it too. You were a totally awesome CALS, something I can only aspire to be. I am so happy to hear it was peaceful with you at his side holding his hand. Praying much peace and strength for you as you work your way through this time.
I am still here for you holding you and hugging you across the miles.