I haven't been outdoors since October, except for my three foot landing between my front stoop and the ambulance. The swollen arm thing, it's fine. I am a little smug listening to all these people, "I'm bored, there's nothing to do, blah blah " Should we start a website for shut - ins? With games, Count Your Cobwebs , I Spy With My Little Eye, the same thing that's been right there for six months, let's not forget the ever popular I Can Name That Food, then for the extreme sports lovers How Many Pills Can You Swallow Before You Choke ". Is this what happens? Do you see everything through the green spectacles of jealously. My caregiver on the mid day shift was pushing me up in bed and hit my head on the wooden headboard, she said she was sorry. I really wanted to rub my head, what do you do? I said "no worries I'm ok". I'm not ok. You can come and go as you choose. You have a life. I want my life back. Because this bullshit is starting to take its toll. I keep waking up every morning just to do it over and over with nothing in between. Waiting to not wake up. I told someone I've known for 30 years, she said "you've been on my mind, and I wanted to come and see you, I've just been so busy ". BTW she is retired and fills her calendar herself. I said please don't come to see me, I am no longer on display. I'm becoming hard and resentful. I have a great testimony of the miracles of God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit in my life. You'd think that would /should be enough to keep me going , to keep me on an even keel, I'm ashamed it's not, not even most of the time lately. Sorry about the diatribe.