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Nuch

Member
Joined
Jul 23, 2010
Messages
11
Reason
Lost a loved one
Country
US
State
MN
City
Minneapolis
So tomorrow will mark one month since the passing of my mother. I heard from several people that the grief can strike at it's worst sometimes up to 6 months later. Things have been not that bad so far. The 2 days before she died and the day after were the worst. Then I didn't know whether I was in just a get through it mode while family and friends constantly checked on me or just that I had a year to prepare. I really hoped it was all that I had already been through. Tonight while watching one of her favorite tv shows come back from a big cliffhanger last season, and realizing that she won't be here to talk about it with hit me. Also today at work planning for a mothers day ad got me thinking but I had to shift focus or I was going fall apart. Even though I had the prep time and do feel like I have to be outwardly strong I know know it's going to be subtle thing that will get to me and will have to either be prepped for or will have the privacy to let it out. Saturday is the walk to defeat ALS in Minneapolis. It would have been her 68th birthday that day. I have great friends walking with me that mean the world to me. Just hoping God will help me to balance properly how and when I accept help. Sorry- just needed to vent to a community that understands the grief, the guilt, and the relief that all goes with losing a loved one to this unbelievablely cruel disease. My heart goes out to all of you dealing with or have dealt with this horrific thing.
 
Your sadness makes me cry Dear One. I'm so sorry for your sadness. Tell me, what show were you watching? Your Mom was probably with you at that time and was watching it with you.

I'm sure that grief comes in waves. You're fine and then, in a moment, like what happened, you're not fine. I think that's just how it's going to go.

Please come here any time and let us know how you're doing. May God comfort you Linda and give you strength.

Love, Marta
 
My prayers go out to you Linda at this diffucult time. I pray for peace and comfort for you. And Thank You for continuing in the cause to fight this disease by Walking to Defeat A L S even in your time of grief. ((BIG HUG))
 
Linda,
I understand exactly what you are going through. Sometimes it's easier to keep your mind occupied so as not to hurt too much all at once. Be good to yourself though because you can also push it aside for too long only to to find it makes it's own way out.

Sometimes the world just seems very cruel... all of these events happening all at the same time for you. My suggestion is allow yourself to grieve as much as you need in those times or when ever the feelings come.

Not thinking about our loved one and the grief we carry now that they are gone, will not make the sadness go away in time... only traveling the journey of our loss will help your heart to heal.

I feel your sadness and pain and wish you well in this journey. My thoughts are with you...
 
Tomorrow, it will be one month since my husband died. I know exactly what you mean about last season's cliff hangers. I miss getting excited about the upcoming show, watching it and talking to him about the outcome ~ one of many, many things I miss.
 
I feel the sadness in your post and it made me cry. Its very surreal to read your own feelings in someone elses post, its comforting to know we are never alone on this journeyy. Thinking of you and praying for strength for you.
 
Linda, sending you warm hugs as you go through each emotion. We are all emotionally fragile throughout this journey, and cry when we don't want to--or seemingly out of the blue. Prayers for you as well as Missy and missmineau as you walk through this side of your loss--for strength and for comfort.
 
Linda, I thought of my Dad a lot this past week, it was the 12th anniversary of his passing. When I read about the "cliffhanger" and stuff I had to smile to myself, because I truly feel that your Mom is still with you. I didn't get a chance to say "goodbye" to my Dad, he died unexpectedly and was gone before even my Mom got notified. But that night, my smoke detector went off in my basement... and wouldn't go off. It did that every night for 5 days, at the same time, until I had it removed... it was only 6 months old, and had never malfunctioned before. And there wasn't a clock in it, and there wasn't any reason for it to go off. I don't think it was malfunctioning then either, it was my Dad's way of saying goodbye, and checking in on me. You see, he had repaired my furnace a few times, and was always worried about me, but that the only way he could express it, was to ask about my oil furnace. So please believe that in a million little ways that your Mom is still with you, she may be in that beautiful butterfly that you keep seeing. Sending you a hug, and praying that you find peace.
Helen
 
It's 3 months this weekend since my mother passed. Today someone asked me are you over it, have you moved on? I know I'm doing ok for all i've experienced but no point telling them I've only recently begun to sleep through the night, that I choose not to watch the shows we used to watch together cause they reduce me to tears and that though people around me have moved on as if this never happened, there's a gap in my life where my mum used to be.

Thanks Linda for posting. I hope the walk went well & that you can lean into the support of your friends.
 
Avril, how can someone even ASK if you've "moved on" after only 3 months? Wow... I think after what the two of have been through, you're doing well to sleep through the night. Take it one day at a time, and you will start enjoying life again, just don't push yourself to be on someone else's timetable. It's all part of the grieving process, and only time will help heal your grief.

Love you girl, and thinking of your Mum up in heaven. I think she's watching those shows with you still.
 
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