Nuts, you brought up several important points:
>>When I allow my mind to wander too far...
Years ago, my wandering mind led to violent thoughts. So a psychiatrist gave me meds and a therapist. The therapists work helped a lot, and I'm almost entirely off the meds. I'm happy now. To keep my mind from wandering now, I listen to the Beatles, play on the Internet, and write about some of my adventures.
>>what on earth I will do with myself when I am alone...
I worked for awhile (should have kept working), went to school a little bit (probably should have stuck with that), trained for a new career in helicopters (damn blood pressure failed the flight physical), and finally just concentrated on my college-aged kids. We built a canoe. In January we'll go wreck diving.
But when I'm totally alone? So far, I tried joining social groups that interested me at Meetup (dot) com (that's not enough), and met some women on eHarmony (I discovered I'm not attracted to women my age).
Perhaps you'll have better luck.
>>a reason to get out of bed
Yes, we all do need purpose...and faith. A purpose to get out of bed and faith that there is a future to move toward. I have faith in myself, but my purpose is still fuzzy. Hence, I frequently post here with the purpose of helping others. Still looking for a more "full time" purpose, though.
Tell us when you find another purpose for yourself.
--Mike