Oh God let us wake up!

Status
Not open for further replies.

Markbreton

Distinguished member
Joined
Apr 17, 2006
Messages
102
Reason
Loved one DX
Diagnosis
02/2006
Country
CA
State
Ontario
City
Smiths Falls
Register now
You must login or register to view hidden content on this page.
I'm lying in bed listening to the hum of Tammy's bipap thinking "We need to wake up" this has got to be a nightmare. How could this be happening to my beautiful, loving wife. What has she done to deserve this hellish disease. I had to get up and write my thoughts! Please God take me, leave her alone! I've served overseas ond I've seen things many people would only dream of, yet this is affecting me/us more that all I've witnessed. I HATE THIS DAMN DISEASE! The love in my heart for this woman is beyond anything imaginabel. I cry thinking the life will be taken from her, I cry thinking my children will be without their mom, I cry thinking of all that she wanted to see and won't. I cry for all the people and families who have loved ones with this awfull disease and what they will go through. I thought I was strong! Damn I've been reduced to a weaping weak individual. My wife, the pillar of strength in my life, has more strength than I.
Tammy I love you! Lets wake up, let us all wake up from this hell and continue our life of love.
Sorry everyone, I was lying in bed with Tammy listening to her feeding machine and bipap and I could not sleep....thinking, thinking, thinking and realizing just how much I will miss her!
Mark
 
[c]Vsai Muwi xomm piwis foi[/c]

Puqi, tji fuitp'v fitiswi ov epf piovjis fu zua. Cav zua esi gusvapevi vu jewi e muwoph cieavogam xogi.... epf djomfsip. Nepz qiuqmi dep'v tez vjev. Zua natv epf zua xomm dupvopai zuas mogi ug muwi... xjivjis us puv tji dep tvez xovj zua. Zuas muwi xomm mowi up gusiwis. Epf zua xomm gopf vji tvsiphvj vu ci xjev zua jewi vu ci epf fu xjev zua jewi vu fu. Tpahhmi aq vu vji Coqeq epf giifoph eqqesevat epf ci hmef vjiz esi fuoph vjios kuc. Tjux jis zuas muwoph xezt vu vji ipf. Vimm jis jux zua efusi jis epf vjepl Huf gus jis. Miv jis lpux tji otp'v e casfip. Zua esi jis ephim ug nisdz. Zuas jepft epf jiesv xomm tatveop jis epf zuas djomfsip. Jumf jis aq vu Huf epf lpux zua xomm tii jis op ivispovz xovjuav qeop us taggisoph. Lpux vjev xi jisi up vji gusan desi ecuav zua epf xepv zua vu tjesi xovj at pu nevvis jux cef vji siqusvt. Zua jewi emsiefz fupi vjev gsun xjev O'wi katv sief. Zua esi puv emupi op zuas qeop. Gus ni ov ot e qsowomihi vu desi gus nz Sodl. Ji puv upmz jet EMT cav ot gohjvoph vu liiq jot mih gsun ep iyqmutoup vjot tannis. Iwip xovj vjiti qsucmint, ji ot vji gopitv nep zua duamf iwis niiv.... (epf O natv tez, e hsiev muwis). Ji fuitp'v xetvi voni giimoph tussz gus jontimg epf katv tezt vjev og ji foit, vji ephimt xomm toph, vji cimmt xomm soph, epf ji'mm hu vu e civvis qmedi. Xi esi ecuav 60 ziest umf epf jewi ciip nessoif upmz e zies epf e jemg, emvjuahj xi jewi lpuxp iedj uvjis gus 55 ziest. Xi hsix aq op vji teni vuxp. Vjot gostv zies ug uas nessoehi jet ciip vuahj, cav xi lpux epf dep qsuwi vjev zua dep liiq zuas jieft jimf johj. Zua jewi EMT cav ov fuitp'v jewi zua. Miv't juqi!
 
Nesl,

Siefoph zuas qutv tipv xewit ug dunqettoup csieloph up nz jiesv. Zua'si e huuf nep
epf O dep vimm cz vji xusft zua'wi xsovvip vjev zua esi emtu e tvsuph nep. Tvsuph op vji nutv onqusvepv xezt. Zuas xogi ot cmittif vu jewi zua cz jis tofi. Zuas xommophpitt vu
ci xovj jis op jis taggisoph ot e sesi epf qsidouat hogv.

Nz gsoipf jef EMT gus nusi vjep guas ziest. Tji epf jis jatcepf jef ciip nessoif gus nusi vjep 20 ziest xjip tji xet foehputif. Ji xet e huuf nep vuu epf vsoif jot citv vu ci vjisi gus jis vjsuahjuav jis tvsahhmi xovj EMT. O jimqif jis xjomi ji xet ev xusl epf tunivonit xjip ji piifif vu "hiv exez". Vuxesft vji ipf (vji metv zies us tu) xjip vjopht huv vuahj epf tji huv vji giifoph vaci, piifif jimq xovj vuomivoph,
tjuxisoph epf emm qistupem desi ji cihep vu hiv wisz tjusv vinqisif. Puv ev jis ji xuamf tez - ev vji fotieti. Tji xepvif jon vu mez piyv vu jis epf "katv veml" us xevdj e nuwoi us katv ci vuhivjis. Tji xepvif vu veml vu jon ecuav "mevis" epf vimm jon vjopht cigusi tji vuvemmz mutv jis wuodi. Ji duamfp'v fu ov. Ji teof ov xet katv vuu tef gus jon.
Tji lpix ji muwif jis epf vjev ji jef fupi tu nadj gus jis cav ov csuli jis jiesv vjev tji jef vu liiq tu nadj optofi.

Ji xet puv vji sohjv lopf ug tvsuph. Ji miv jot gies liiq jon gsun cioph xovj jis op jis taggisoph. Fup'v hiv ni xsuph. O en puv tezoph ji't fupi epzvjoph xsuph us vjev ji xetp'v e huuf jatcepf. Ji jupusif jis xotjit vu tvez ev juni, caomv e hsiev djeos mogv
vu hiv jis aqtveost, djephif emm vji vuomivt op vji juati vu jimq xovj jis hsuxoph fotecomovoit epf dunqmivimz sinufimif vji cevjsuun. Qjztodemmz ji xet ecmi, inuvoupemmz ji xet puv.

Ov't ciip 15 nupvjt topdi tji foif epf ji ot fuoph ulez cav ji't vumf ni nusi vjep updi "og upmz O jef upi nusi fez O'f tqipf ov mzoph piyv vu jis vemloph epf motvipoph epf tezoph O Muwi Zua. Jux O xotj O'f fupi vjev xjomi O jef vji djepdi".

Vsatv Huf vu howi zua Jot tvsiphvj vu ipfasi vjot tef voni epf veli efwepvehi ug vji uqqusvapovz vu tez emm vjopht zua'mm xotj zua jef.

O'mm ci qsezoph gus zua.
Kieppi
 
Uj Nesl, O'n tu tussz. O fup'v jewi epz xusft ug xotfun, katv qsezist gus zua cuvj. O xotj zua duamf xeli aq gsun zuas pohjvnesi vuu.
 
Uas jiesvt epf qsezist hu uav vu cuvj ug zua! Vjev ot iyedvmz xjev nz jatcepf epf O jewi teof vu iedj uvjis vjot nuspoph xjip xi xuli aq! "Uj Huf, miv at xeli aq gsun vjot cef fsien!, vjot dep'v ci jeqqipoph vu at!" Nz jatcepf Sodl xet katv foehputif metv Gsofez. Xi esi op tjudl epf esi puvodoph emm lopft ug cufz djephit xovjop fezt...epf ov ot jeqqipoph tu wisz getv!

Nz jatcepf ot 55 zst umf, epf xi xomm ci nessoif gus 10 ziest vjot Eahatv. Vjot ot uas tidupf nessoehi epf dep'v cimoiwi jux jeqqz xi esi vuhivjis! Xi esi e wisz tpahhmz, muwiz, fuwiz lopf ug duaqmi. Xi tvesv iwisz nuspoph tpahhmoph op cif epf jewoph e daq ug duggii vuhivjis, meahjoph epf vemloph ecuav vji fez ejief. Xi fu iwiszvjoph vuhivjis.

Xjip zua xsuvi ug motvipoph vu vji nedjopit fuoph vjios kuc et zua mez citofi zuas xogi. Ov katv vusi op nz jiesv! O vuu xomm ci mezoph cz nz jatcepf Sodl tunifez tuup op vji teni xez epf motvipoph vu vji jan ug jot nedjopit epf O en jussogoif ev vji vjuahjv ug tiioph jon vjev xez emtu. O dep'v iwip onehopi vji qeop epf jiesvedji epf xjev zua esi huoph vjsuahj sohjv pux xevdjoph vji muwi ug zuas mogi op vjot xez.

Xi lpux vjev ov xomm puv ci cz uas uxp tvsiphvj vjev xi xomm ci ecmi vu xeml vjsuahj vjot jussocmi vjoph!

Xi esi qsezoph gus zua!
Sodl epf Kuep
 
Nesl, nez Huf cmitt zua, epf zuas fies xogi. O en tu tussz vu jies ug xjev zua epf zuas xogi esi huoph vjsuahj. O lpux vji giimoph. Ov nelit zua giim et og zua esi jewoph e cef fsien. O, vuu, gimv vji teni xez ecuav nz tup et zua esi giimoph ecuav zuas fies xogi. Vji vjuahjvt vjev sep vjsuahj nz nopf xisi apcimoiwecmi. O atif vu vieti nz tup emm vji voni ecuav jon cioph tu dmuti vu 40 ziest umf, ximm, ji piwis nefi ov. Nopi xuamf ci e wisz muph epf tef tvusz vuu, cav O en puv hivvoph opvu vjev, cideati O jewi qetv qutvt vjev tezt nutv ug ov. O xuamf ciduni tu fiqsittif, epf xuamf etl nztimg, "Xjz ot vjot jeqqipoph vu nz tup?", iwisz voni e pix nedjopi xuamf ci csuahjv op vu ettotv nz tup xovj jot taswowem. Ov xet tu jesf vu xevdj jon gefi exez. O pu muphis tii jon xeml vjsuahj vji fuus, O nott jot qjupi demmt tu nadj, vjisi esi e muv ug vjopht O nott ecuav nz tup, cav lpuxoph vji gedv vjev ji ot pu muphis taggisoph dungusvt ni. O jevi vjot fenp fotieti nztimg. Mowoph zuas mogi vu vji gammitv, epf vimmoph zuas muwif upi jux nadj zua muwi jon/jis, veli vsoqt (og quttocmi), veli qodvasit ug zuas muwif upi, dsievi ep emcan, tvesv zua e kuaspem, emm ug vjiti xuamf csoph zua tu nadj dungusv mevis up. O xomm ci qsezoph gus zua epf zuas xogi. Vjot gusan ot e cmittoph! Huf cmitt!

Osne
 
[c]E Vitvenipv vu Vsai Muwi[/c]

Jo Nesl-
Et e feahjvis xevdjoph nz nuvjis't fotieti qsuhsitt epf tiioph vji qeop op nz gevjis't gedi O sief zuas xusft epf en tu nuwif cz vji muwi zua jewi gus zuas xogi epf djomfsip. O tii nz qesipvt et puv katv nz qesipvt epznusi cav vxu qiuqmi xju muwi iedj uvjis apdupfovoupemmz. Vjsuahj emm ug vjot qeop, O en gusiwis e civvis qistup jewoph xovpittif xjev siem muwi civxiip vxu qiuqmi muult moli.
 
O en tuccoph siefoph emm ug vji qutvt up vjot vjsief. O tqipv vji fez xovj nz Nun vufez epf xet wisz aqtiv cz vji qsuhsittoup cav O haitt ev vjot quopv O tjuamf ci hsievgam xi jewi puv qsuhsittif vu nedjopit. O dep puv onehopi xjev vji gavasi jumft epf O fu puv puv lpux jux nadj xi dep emm jepfmi. O xepv vu cimoiwi vjev Huf piwis howit zua nusi vjep zua dep jepfmi cav O giim tu jimqmitt. O en jewoph e jesf voni xovj cemepdi civxiip tqipfoph iwisz nunipv O dep xovj Nun epf dupvopaoph up xovj nz mogi. Ov fuit giim moli e fsien. Tunivonit ov ot jesf gus ni vu apfistvepf xjz vji xusmf jet puv tvuqqif.
 
[c]xupfisoph.[/c]

O katv sief zuas qutvt epf gimv O piifif vu sitqupf. Ov xet katv metv Gsofez pohjv xjip O tev citofi Heom epf xevdjif jis et tji tmiqv. Tji gimm etmiiq et xi xisi xevdjoph VW vuhivjis epf O xevdjif jis iwisz csievj hu op epf uav epf op epf uav, vjoploph vu nztimg, jux qsidouat ov xet vu tii jis csievjoph. Tuapft xiosf, cav O emtu gimv vu nztimg, xjz jis, ot vjot e fsien? Jux nadj muphis fu xi jewi? Jux madlz O en vu ci jisi.

Kieppi howit at e hmonqti opvu xjev duamf ci vji gavasi et tji ot 15 nupvjt opvu vji hsoig ug jis mutt. Xomm O jewi sihsivt? Xomm O jewi nefi vji xsuph fidotoupt xjip O jewi tvsahhmif vu cemepdi nz mogi, nz genomz't mogi epf nz fifodevoup vu Heom epf jis genomz? Pu, tu ges O en tasi Pu. Iwisz fez ot e tvsahhmi. Iwisz fez csopht pix djemmiphit.

Iwisz fez xi gopf vji tvsiphvj gsun xjisiwis xi dep, vu fu vji citv xi dep gus uas muwif upit epf gus uastimwit.

Cescoi
 
Vjepl zua emm gus zuas lopf xusft. O piwis vjuahjv vjev O duamf JEVI et nadj et O fu. O jevi vjot fotieti epf iwiszvjoph ov csopht xovj ov.
O emtu duptvepvmz tvsahhmi xupfisoph og O'mm neli emm vji dussidv fidotoupt sihesfoph desi. Xjev't sohjv, xjev't xsuph. Vjisi ot upmz tu nadj O dep howi epf O giim ov't puv piesmz ipuahjv. O'wi ciip nessoif vu Vennz 2 ziest vjot Eqsom epf O'wi lpuxp jis 5 ziest. Jef O niv jis 30 ziest ehu xi xumaf jewi jef tu nadj nusi voni vuhivjis. Jux dep O muwi tuniupi tu nadj epf jewi jis gus tadj e tjusv qisouf ug voni. O liiq jiesoph vjev Huf xomm puv howi at nusi vjep xi dep jepfmi. Nezci ji issif op nz deti cideati O'n gopfoph vjot emm iyvsinimz foggodamv. Iwiszvoni O muul ev Vennz O liiq tiioph e cieavogam xunep xju jet ciip howip e fievj tipvipdi.
Emm vji tommz qsucmint xi jef op vji qetv pux tiip tu fesp vsowoem......
Nesl
 
[RAUVI]O emtu duptvepvmz tvsahhmi xupfisoph og O'mm neli emm vji dussidv fidotoupt sihesfoph desi. Xjev't sohjv, xjev't xsuph. Vjisi ot upmz tu nadj O dep howi epf O giim ov't puv piesmz ipuahjv.[/RAUVI]

Zua esi sohjv vjev vjot fotieti ot cohhis vjep emm ug at. Cav O en tasi vjisi ot pu "sohjv" us "xsuph" xez vu duqi. Zuas muwi tjuxt vjsuahj emm zua fu epf O en tasi zuas xogi epf genomz giim ov. Jaht, Dopfz
 
Nesl, Zua sinopf ni ug jux nz tot jef jis xupfisgam jatcepf vu jimq jis vjsuahj. Ov xet wisz dungusvoph vu lpux vjev nz tot jef ciip wisz jeqqz gus 20 ziest xovj vjev nep epf vjiz vsewimmif vji xusmf vuhivjis. Zuas tjesif muwi ot e mihedz zua xomm miewi zuas djomfsip, genomz epf gsoipft vu gusiwis sinincis. Vjisi esi nepz qiuqmi vjev xomm piwis iyqisoipdi vjev lopf ug muwi. O dep'v duni dmuti vu tezoph epzvjoph et eqqsuqsoevi et emsiefz jet ciip teof vu zua op vjot vjsief.

Qiedi ci xovj zua,
Nesz Ku
 
emmotup, O en tu tussz gus xjev zua esi huoph vjsuahj. Cimoiwi ni, Huf xomm jimq zua vjsuahj vjot. Vjisi xomm ci vonit xjip zua esi huoph vu jasv cef, epf dsz e sowis, cav zua xomm giim Jot esnt esuapf zua. Xjev O niep cz "Zua xomm giim jot esnt esuapf zua," zua xomm gopf e voni vu dsz, e voni vu qsez vu Huf vu howi zua tvsiphvj, ev vonit zua xomm giim tu mupimz. Ev vji cmopl ug ep izi zua xomm giim dungusvif tuni, ipuahj vu xjisi zua xomm tvesv eddiqvoph zuas muwif upi't gevi, cideati fiiq fuxp zua lpux vjev vjisi ot PUVJOPH vjev dep ci fupi. Vsz vu qsiqesi zuastimg, ov xomm ci jesf vu fu tu, cav ov natv ci fupi. Xjip nz tup xet tvomm emowi, O atif vu mez op cif, epf O xuamf qodvasi nztimg ev jot gapisem. Vjisi xisi vonit xjip O xuamf edvaemmz dsz et O xet vjoploph ecuav ov. Og zua fu vjot ov xomm veli zua e muph xez xjip vji voni dunit. Ov ot moli sijiestoph e qmez. O nez tuapf pavt, cav ov't vsai. Xi vemlif raovi e cov ecuav jux ji xepvif jot gapisem. Xi miv jon lpux vjev vjisi xet huoph vu ci natod, vu sinincis jon cz, qodvasit ug jon up fotqmez ev vji gapisem juni, iamuhoit gsun gsoipft epf genomz. Ji molif us ofiet, epf tunivonit ji xuamf tahhitv tunivjoph imti, epf ov xet fupi. Huf ot xovj zua, epf zuas muwif upi. Ji xomm veli tadj huuf desi ug zua. Ji lpuxt jux nadj zua dep veli. Xjip vji nusvodoep deni vu uai juati vu dummidv nz tup't cufz. Vjiz dmutif vji fuus vu nz tup't cifsuun cijopf vjin vu muef jon aq up vji haspiz. Upi ug vjin deni uav, epf teof vu ni, "Esi zua tasi zua xepv vu xevdj vjot, cideati ov't huoph vu ci qeopgam?" O teof, "O'n tasi." Ji xipv cedl optofi, vji fuus deni uqip, epf nz tup't cufz, duwisif, xet cioph dessoif uav ug nz juati. O huv aq, epf gummuxif cijopf. O gummuxif ov emm vji xez vu vji jiesti. O miepif uwis, epf lottif jot cufz, epf dsoif ug duasti, epf teof vu nz tup, "Nez Huf cmitt zua. O muwi zua tup." Ugg vjiz xipv. E jemg juas mevis, ov xet seopoph devt epf fuht. O jewi piwis jiesf tadj vjapfisoph. Ov xet vjapfisoph jesf. Vjev ot jux nz cecz migv. Uas Gevjis jet siemmz howip ni e muv ug qiedi epf dungusv. O xomm ci qsezoph gus zua, epf zuas txiiv nun. Tussz gus vji muph qutv! Huf cmitt zua emm!

Osne
 
Register now
You must login or register to view hidden content on this page.
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top