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WellsRuby

Distinguished member
Joined
Mar 16, 2012
Messages
187
Reason
Loved one DX
Diagnosis
03/2011
Country
US
State
Texas
City
Houston
My husband has ALS. He has right foot drop and wears a foot brace and it has effected his right hand too and moving to the left hand. He has just started slurring a few words when he is tired. He is retired and I'm still working. I was planning on working for another year if he doesn't need me before then. He is on a trip right now and has been gone for about a week. His absense has made me realize how alone it feels without him and has made me rethink working. I hate this disease in that you don't know what to expect and everyone is different with progression. Maybe I shouldn't be working and should be enjoying what we have now and not wait until he needs me to be home. I will hate looking back and wishing I had that year with him. I guess I'm rethinking work. Any advice?
 
If you can manage without the income and insurance I would seriously think about retiring now. The advice that i was given when I joined here was to take all the trips eat out etc while we still can. We don't know what the future holds but if you can retire without compromising your financial security I do not think you will regret it.
I am so sorry this is very hard
 
Personally I would quit now. I don't think that's a decision you would ever regret making. You really never know how much time is left. Enjoy every minute, every second.
 
Well, if you can pull that off financially, perhaps you should consider it. I've never heard anyone ever say they wish they would have kept working instead of spending time together, assuming you enjoy spending time with each other. And depending on your employment, another idea would be to really scale back your hours to spend more time instead of stopping completely. Wishing you the best on your decision.
 
I fourth this opinion!
If you can swing it financially, do it!
 
If you can afford to live without your income and insurance, I would wholeheartedly recommend retirement. I have just left my job after 20 years due to my own bulbar palsy and I am valueing every moment with my husband. It means everything that I can spend time with my husband. We own a family owned funeral home and we live in the back so I am with him all the time. There is something to be said about learning to value every minute. Take care of yourself. Jamiem
 
I cannot afford to stop working but if I could I would in a second .
 
Then do what you have to do with no guilt at all. We all have difficult choices and you will do what is best for your family. I am praying for you and your family.
 
I made the decision a week ago to retire because Rog wants me home. The decision is bittersweet because I love teaching, but I love him more.... Finances will be okay as we have always been careful and spent less than we made. I wish you peace with your decision, it was not easy for me but now that I've made it, I'm relieved that I did.

Jen
 
Thanks everyone for your thoughts. I believe when hubby gets back I will talk to him about retiring earlier.
 
Jen, Bless you on making the decision. I think you will be abundantly rewarded with the time with your husband. Jamiem
 
I quit work to be with my PALS and do SO enjoy being with him. He depends on me to help whatever he needs,
and to support making decisions about his activities. We thought this would progress faster, and thankfully it
has not.... but things change a bit week by week. We had to get all plastic tumbers to drink from, as he drops
things so easily. His job is to empty the dishwasher. He spills the birdseed as he fills the birdfeeder... but that's
his job too. He takes out the garbage still... and waters the plants. He can no longer mow the lawn or shovel
snow. Sometimes he gets mixed up and needs me to straighten him out..... things that don't matter a hill of beans.
That means that he may leave a burner on.... or leave the car running etc. He is usually himself, but there are
times when he calls on me. He is retired on disability on a navy pension so we can manage. He does still prepare
tax returns and is treasurer for the local ELks lodge as a volunteer. These activities give him quality of life. As
bodily functions diminish, it is important to maintain quality of life and dignity as long as possible. I guess you would
say he is still ambulatory although he staggers and uses a walker. His hands are getting useless..... I hope you
are able to stay home and make memories too. He needs whatever you are able to give... if it's not a hardship.
 
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