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Not fair

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pscheffel

Distinguished member
Joined
Apr 13, 2012
Messages
145
Reason
Lost a loved one
Diagnosis
12/2011
Country
US
State
Tx
Well, yesterday I woke up and got ready for work, Mom didn't stop by at 7am like she normally does. So I called her and no answer. I find out shortly after that Mom's sister (the fake one who is milking the disability system and cares only for herself) has picked her up at 5am so they can take their parents to doctor appointments all day. My Dad said she was up at 2:30am getting dressed and he made her lay back down until 5am. He then told the sister that if she takes Mom by the bank to withdraw any money, she will have to pay it all back to him. She looked at him confused (the sister), I honestly think she has been taking the money from my Mom who has more than likely, willingly given it to her....ridiculous....Anyways, I am angry and upset while at work and have a break down moment, uncontrollable sobbing. I've managed to refrain from sobbing at work, just small bouts of crying silently. I obviously had many coworkers around me, many of whom do not know my situation, so I left. Monday will be awkward...So I call a family meeting at lunchtime and we all discuss the situation and decide not to allow Mom to leave the house with her sister again. She dropped Mom off at 4pm, never came inside to confront anyone. 5am to 4pm is entirely too long for her to be out, I told her that will not happen again. She was exhausted, but didn't seem to understand the big deal. My Uncle came to discuss everything and will help us with their sister, big relief! Thanks for listening!
 

HelenL

Very helpful member
Joined
Dec 17, 2010
Messages
1,583
Reason
PALS
Country
US
State
MA
Wow, sounds like your Mom may be a little confused at times, and the sister is taking advantage of that. Glad your uncle is stepping in to help. And you're right, why in the world did she have to go from 5am? to 4pm...
 

pscheffel

Distinguished member
Joined
Apr 13, 2012
Messages
145
Reason
Lost a loved one
Diagnosis
12/2011
Country
US
State
Tx
I think so too Helen, thanks!
 

brooksea

Legendary member
Joined
Sep 27, 2006
Messages
5,171
Reason
Other
Country
HM
I'm sorry you and your family are having to take all these precautions to make sure your mom is safe and not taken advantage of. Family sometimes are the worst, when it comes to this disease.
 

WellsRuby

Distinguished member
Joined
Mar 16, 2012
Messages
186
Reason
Loved one DX
Diagnosis
03/2011
Country
US
State
Texas
From your other post, I hope you were able to open another bank account that your mom was not on and limit the amount of money she could withdraw.
 

pscheffel

Distinguished member
Joined
Apr 13, 2012
Messages
145
Reason
Lost a loved one
Diagnosis
12/2011
Country
US
State
Tx
Yes, I moved the money to another bank. Thank you. I was beginning to wonder why her sister was all of the sudden coming to pick her up all the time....now we know. I've also noticed that when my Mom was first diagnosed, of course she was really depressed and was not wanting to be around anyone. Some of my family has not been around or heard from since she was diagnosed. My Dad feels no one cares. I think some of them do not want to see her the way she is now, because she is completely different, it is difficult to see. She now looks forward to people coming over. But, that is still not an excuse.
 

panguinjen

Senior member
Joined
Mar 27, 2012
Messages
523
Reason
Lost a loved one
Country
US
State
CA
People treat Rog differently like they are afraid. We had dinner on Friday with friends and they were surprised at how easy it was....geez, frustrating at times....one waitress completely freaked out another time and we had the worst service...we find that people have a hard time waiting for Rog to type his answers to their questions and then they only ask yes/no questions...

Jen
 

cubcake

Distinguished member
Joined
Jul 18, 2011
Messages
270
Reason
Lost a loved one
Diagnosis
10/2011
Country
US
State
Ca
My husbands family is Hell bent on pretending that everything is fine, just fine!

So sorry for your troubles. I know how hard it is to monitor all these extra issues.

About you own well-being, especially at work.....have you talked to your doctor about prescribing anything for you? I'm not usually pro-pill (my medicine cabinet has only bandaids) but my doc gave me Atavan and a tiny chard of that on my hardest days leaves me completely functional but able to keep me from looking like a snotty, leaking basket case. Just a thought!

Good luck!
 

pscheffel

Distinguished member
Joined
Apr 13, 2012
Messages
145
Reason
Lost a loved one
Diagnosis
12/2011
Country
US
State
Tx
Jen, I know what you mean, people are so caught up in the busy-ness of life, it is frustrating. Since Mom's diagnosis, I have learned to slow down and enjoy the simple things (spending time with loved ones). Because in the end, those things are what will matter most.
Cubcake, I have thought of that and will consider it more, if it happens more frequently. I normally let my feelings out pretty quick and then move on. Since diagnosis, I have crying moments that I allow myself to totally submit to, once it's over, I feel more in control and able to focus on the day. But, I do know things will get worse with time and was hoping to stop working for a bit to help more. We'll see.\
Thank you for your thoughts!
 

HelenL

Very helpful member
Joined
Dec 17, 2010
Messages
1,583
Reason
PALS
Country
US
State
MA
I go in spurts where I'm fine, then some days where everything makes me cry or pissed off... we have a new "normal", and I definitely needed to up my med to keep me level...
 

hangingon1

Distinguished member
Joined
Jan 29, 2012
Messages
199
Reason
Lost a loved one
Diagnosis
09/2009
Country
US
State
Georgia
I am so sorry for your mom and you. Know one can understand this monster disease unless they go through it. Be encouraged by one thing, since it is bulbar onset, her suffering will not be dragged out for years and years. It will probably be sooner that you can imagine. Love her now. Love her even if she becomes someone you do not know. The real her will be in there somewhere. Embrace to good times you have had together and make her as comfortable as possible. Remember love never fails.
 

cubcake

Distinguished member
Joined
Jul 18, 2011
Messages
270
Reason
Lost a loved one
Diagnosis
10/2011
Country
US
State
Ca
Helen....I hear you. I handle all of these horrendous things; falls that break holes in the walls, vomit and worse spewed with such force it's unbelieveable and a host of other attrocities with a smile on my face and gentle, loving, kind words of encouragement.

And then the mail comes and Zappos messed up on the order for my jeans (which now no one carries) and I completely come unglued. I mean completely!

What gives? (Crack me off another Chard of Atavan, will ya?)
 

panguinjen

Senior member
Joined
Mar 27, 2012
Messages
523
Reason
Lost a loved one
Country
US
State
CA
Ah, Geez cubcake....my day today exactly...unglued, that's me!

Jen
 

pscheffel

Distinguished member
Joined
Apr 13, 2012
Messages
145
Reason
Lost a loved one
Diagnosis
12/2011
Country
US
State
Tx
Thank you hangingon1. God bless you
 
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