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rcharlton

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Jun 20, 2005
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641
Reason
PALS
Diagnosis
11/2005
Country
CA
State
Ontario
City
Toronto
True story

Fall of 1986

19 years old. Just started a new University in a city where I knew no one. Living by myself. No friends. Just returned from visiting home and being dumped by my high school sweetheart.

Biked over to the local comic book shop to drown my sorrows in boyhood nostalgia and super hero adventures. Locking up my bike by the side of the road I feel drops of rain. Great! Now I'm going to get stuck in a rain storm. I look up at the sky - not a cloud in sight. I hear peals of laughter. What I thought was rain was actually a school bus full of kids spitting at me from open windows.

SIGH

I head back to my apartment.

What's this? A package waiting for me? How exciting!

A brand new Smith Corona electric typewriter! Featuring a 40 Character display and 2 bytes of storage! Plus an Autospell feature with a 25,000 word vocabulary! If you misspell a word or type a word not in its vocabulary - the Autospell alarm will go off and alternative words will be suggested on the display - in less than a minute! Technology wow!

As it is Friday night - and Golden Girls is a repeat - I decide to take my new technological marvel out for a test drive.

Naturally, the first word I type in is my name.

"R-i-c-h-a-r-d"

BEEP BEEP

The Autospell Alarm! I guess the word "Richard" isn't in my typewriter's vocabulary. Hmmm...the night is still young...let's see what it thinks I should be spelling.

I push the Autospell button. The display shows "Thinking..."

A minute goes by.

The display shows "Still thinking..."

Looks like my typewriter is giving this a lot of thought.

Aaahh....here we go - the answer at last.

The display shows "retard"

What the....!?!? That's not even close!

I threw the typewriter out the window.

Here's the scary part. A number of my friends had the same typewriter and whenever I tried to type in "Richard" on their machines - either the Autospell alarm would not go off or the display would show "riches".

So don't tell me this wasn't personal.
 
Very funny! Look at all the respect you have now, Rachid, Ratchard, Rabid. Oh crap, my spell check doesn't work either.
 
My spell check was on the other end of my pencil.
 
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