New Year

[ARCG]

Wishing you all a happy and healthy New Year.

Haven't posted in a while. Can’t believe it’s over two years since I lost my husband. Seems like yesterday. I am having a hard time looking forward to anything without him, was hoping it would get easier by now. But I take one day at a time and life keeps me busy. I continue to talk with a therapist and keep going for my children’s sake.

I find I don’t want to engage with anyone but family, although I do. Friends and family are generally kind, but I have so little tolerance for passive aggressive behavior or pettiness in anyone, it makes it difficult to socialize. I would rather be alone than risk running into a toxic person and encountered one or two when I ventured out to a couple social situations this fall. I am always taken aback when someone says something hurtful out of the blue. I am an easygoing, quiet and kind person and am never prepared for passive aggressive behavior as I don’t think that way. I just don’t have it in me to push back anymore and want to avoid this. I think it means I have to turn down invitations unless I know who is on the guest list, which is something that I don’t think is polite to ask. Hypochondriacs also drive me crazy.

Hoping those who are further out than I will comment and let me know if you feel the same and how you handled it. No on who hasn’t gone through this understands the heartache of ALS. Thanks for listening.

 

[affected]

So good to hear from you!
I reckon that is exactly where I was at 2 years in. It takes so much longer than we can even begin to imagine, but you never go back to who you were, so you have to grieve and then remake yourself. I like to say I learned to live with a Chris-shaped hole in my life.

Do what you gotta do and be what you gotta be. You will either make all new friends, or you will find the way to deal with the other stuff.
Your grieving belongs to you alone, so own it and know that just as no one knew the depth of your relationship, no one can know the depth of your grief.

 

[ARCG]

Thank you, good advice