New diagnosis

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susanjean

New member
Joined
Nov 13, 2012
Messages
2
Reason
Loved one DX
Diagnosis
08/2012
Country
US
State
michigan
City
Prudenville
My son in law was just diagnosised in August and I don't know what to say when I talk to my daughter and son in law. I want to be supportive, but don't know how. :?:
 

ottawa girl

Moderator emeritus
Joined
Jun 14, 2012
Messages
1,506
Reason
PALS
Diagnosis
04/2012
Country
CA
State
Ontario
City
Ottawa
Hello,

Sorry for this invasion into your family. Glad you found this forum.

From this PALS perspective -

DO acknowledge the ALS (but he's still the guy you knew before diagnoses)
DO listen but resist the urge to try to fix him or citing off the wall "cures"
DO support them with actions- not just words
DO be yourself - love him as you do your daughter

Don't just ask, what can we do? That is too broad a question to pose when people are in crisis- might be better to say "we were thinking of doing such and such- on this or that a day- would that be helpful to you both?" Concrete things- cleaning, meals, babysitting,
vacation getaway gifts, financial assistance etc. will be well received and remembered.

BE an ear. Have a big open heart and, if you can, wear it on your sleeve. It's OK to cry with them and even better still (in my world), to pray for them and with them.

It's not easy for families- it's indeed catastrophic- but ALS is not without its silver linings. There are many. Hopefully, you will discover some of your own, as my family has done.

I wish you the best.
 

CindyRN

Distinguished member
Joined
Jul 5, 2012
Messages
110
Reason
PALS
Diagnosis
01/2012
Country
US
State
Montana
City
Great Falls
Susan, Elaine has given you some excellent ideas. I can't think of anything else to add. If you have anymore questions, don't heitate to ask.
 

Ms. Pie

Very helpful member
Joined
Mar 26, 2011
Messages
1,794
Reason
PALS
Diagnosis
10/2010
Country
US
State
CO
City
Colorado
Elaine, great advice! Let them know that you love them and are available to help when they need it. Educate yourself regarding ALS. Call your local ALS Association and ask for any information they have on ALS. They are a wealth of information. I'm sorry you have cause to be here.
 

WellsRuby

Distinguished member
Joined
Mar 16, 2012
Messages
186
Reason
Loved one DX
Diagnosis
03/2011
Country
US
State
Texas
City
Houston
Susan, sorry for your son- in-law's diagnosis but you will find lots of information and support from this forum. Do not hesitate to ask questions. Everyone here has been a big help and support to me.
 

Johnnysgal

Member
Joined
Nov 14, 2012
Messages
25
Reason
Friend was DX
Country
US
State
Mass
City
Boston
I would suggest just talking them like you always have, as their mother.
 

Barbie

Extremely helpful member
Joined
Dec 29, 2007
Messages
2,659
Reason
Lost a loved one
Diagnosis
01/2007
Country
US
State
FL
City
orlando
If you are close by, you could be a huge help with the grandkids (if any). I know someone who's parents moved down the street so they could start driving the kids to all their activities, pick up from school, help with homework etc. As a mom, I was and am filled with guilt about the time spent with my pals that takes away from my children and the activities they wanted to participate in that they couldn't be cause I could not get them there and back. your daughter can not do it all and the kids will lose out. if you can take on some of that burden you and the kids and your daughter and son in law will all win!
 
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