Nearly One Year

Lkaibel

Forum Supporter
Very helpful member
Joined
May 9, 2016
Messages
1,356
Reason
Lost a loved one
Diagnosis
06/2016
Country
US
State
MN
City
Minneapolis
In just a few weeks it will be a year since Brian passed.

At Christmas I said I would not be back, but activism in my local ALSA and in supporting Medical Aid in Dying has kept my “tribe” from the Forum often in my thoughts.

I’m here to say this is insanely difficult, but coping with the loss, just as coping with ALS itself is do-able. Yes, we can.

My love for my husband was -is beyond anything. Maybe even more intense because we did not have children (not that I have that experience for comparison, so I cannot truly know). Yet still we rise.

The everyday has truly helped me. Just as I feel the dark pit of grief Pull me in, I know I have a job to do, animals to care for .... Its just when I have thought “I can’t” that I know I must.

I’ve been busy with my new job, completely, and I mean completely refurnishing my first floor...

We do often say and hear “he would have wanted you to be happy”. Well, I can say my Brian was ALL about action. He would have wanted me to be busy and would have felt THAT would eventually make me happy again. There is truth to that for sure.

To any CALS widow/widower, I would say, you’ve already gotten through ALS. Maybe for a year, maybe for ten or more. You sure can get through rebuilding your life.

I’m glad my year of firsts is nearly over, expecting another set of challenges in year two. Grief is truly a process- and a gauntlet. I’m still standing. The dog and I just might enjoy a little winter sun today too.
 

Jrzygrl

Senior member
Joined
Feb 14, 2017
Messages
611
Reason
Lost a loved one
Diagnosis
08/2014
Country
US
State
NJ
City
X
Good to hear from you Lenore!

I'm approaching the 6 month mark and still feeling a bit disconnected from the world. But I promised my husband I'd be OK after he was gone, so it's one foot in front of the other. I'll get there.

I continue to think about the tribe that has helped me too. You among them. Best wishes as you journey forward! ❤
 

Lkaibel

Forum Supporter
Very helpful member
Joined
May 9, 2016
Messages
1,356
Reason
Lost a loved one
Diagnosis
06/2016
Country
US
State
MN
City
Minneapolis
You too Jrzy! I felt like I was floating in space a lot at six months. That lifted some at about the nine month mark. We have seen some stuff, that’s part of it...

The journey of a thousand miles and all that. Thinking of you!
 

MarieLaure

Forum Supporter
Distinguished member
Joined
May 16, 2018
Messages
242
Reason
Loved one DX
Diagnosis
10/2015
Country
FR
State
Ile de France
City
mortcerf
It’s good to read you Lenore. Good vibes
 

jethro

Distinguished member
Joined
Nov 2, 2017
Messages
328
Reason
PALS
Diagnosis
09/2017
Country
HR
State
Croatia
City
ZAGREB
i wish that someone writes such a thing when i die. it wont, never mind, but i am thankful cause you wrote it before.
 

Missgranma

New member
Joined
Dec 24, 2019
Messages
4
Reason
Loved one DX
Diagnosis
09/2019
Country
US
State
VA
City
Roanoke
My sister was diagnosed this past Sept.
It is so sad to think my little sister will pass prematurely. This forum helps me realize I will get through this. Thank you for sharing a little of the grief. All of it is helping me process.
 

soonerwife

Very helpful member
Joined
Mar 16, 2016
Messages
1,565
Reason
Lost a loved one
Diagnosis
10/2015
Country
US
State
OK
City
Cleveland
Nice to hear from you Lenore! Moving forward is all we can do...

Love the refurnishing. Keep on keeping on, friend!
 

Narrowminded

Extremely helpful member
Joined
Apr 30, 2016
Messages
2,591
Reason
Lost a loved one
Diagnosis
07/2007
Country
US
State
PA
City
Pittsburgh
Lenore it’s great to see you. I’m a bit late to the party, being very busy at work. For me getting past the first year mark and then spending Christmas away from home, along with therapy finally has me on the upward path.
Glad to hear you are re furnishing. I re did my floors. However still looking to move due to my stupid HOA.

Hugs
 

Lkaibel

Forum Supporter
Very helpful member
Joined
May 9, 2016
Messages
1,356
Reason
Lost a loved one
Diagnosis
06/2016
Country
US
State
MN
City
Minneapolis
Lenore it’s great to see you. I’m a bit late to the party, being very busy at work. For me getting past the first year mark and then spending Christmas away from home, along with therapy finally has me on the upward path.
Glad to hear you are re furnishing. I re did my floors. However still looking to move due to my stupid HOA.

Hugs
Now I’m the one late to the party! Glad things are on the upswing for you :)
 

vltsra

Distinguished member
Joined
Nov 12, 2015
Messages
391
Reason
CALS
Diagnosis
11/2015
Country
US
State
CA
City
San Diego
Lenore, good to hear from you. Glad to hear you are moving forward. Seems like most of the CALS I started here with have lost their PALS. I'm still here. Can't think about not having my husband here with me. Glad you are busy and dealing with your grief.
 
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