Morning all...
I do sort have a 'ping-pong' (up & down) life, there are as many 'ups' as there are 'downs' now... I think I have said this numerous times... "I could not make all this up if I tried", not a normal moment ever happens in this house, there is always some crisis or another to sort out, none of my making I can assure you, I honestly do not know how I have managed to stay sane to be honest, I am a long long way from the Dave that used to be Dave a couple years ago.
I suppose I am learning how to solve the many problems that have been thrown at me in quick succession, especially of late... But this is living with dementia, motor neurone disease, families (especially families) social services and other healthcare problems I encounter on a daily (hourly if the truth be know) basis.
This place keeps me sane, I dump all my garbage here, feel better, then go back to my life as it is now, it won't be forever, I know this. I think when it is all over I am going to be one hell of a lonely person until I adjust. How can anyone with the constant problems, problem solving, writing my feelings & emotions down, again, on an hourly basis to let off steam, then go back to another problem happening too absolute quietness (nothing).
Right now that 'Nothing' seems really scary for me as I have been so used to having problems over the past 2 years, especially the last 12 months, that it seems sort of normal now, so when the quietness comes I have not got a damned clue how I am going to handle that part of the final ride... The only thing I can do, the only thing that is available to me, is to simply let it happen and see what it is I do do.
No, I am not down, I just try and think of every scenario and have thought about this for a couple of months now, like I do (pre-emptive) on & off and have always thought at the time "Dave, don't worry about that for now" but since I awoke this morning I have thought of nothing else... Weird how the brain works when it is not engaged in finding a solution to a problem, it is like my brain needs something to do all the time now and when it is quiet it finds the things that I have put away in my "Not Now" box hidden somewhere in my brain.
Anyway... Time to walk the dog... (I don't really have a dog)
Dave X