Buckhorn
Senior member
- Joined
- Jan 3, 2016
- Messages
- 730
- Reason
- Lost a loved one
- Diagnosis
- 12/2015
- Country
- US
- State
- PA
- City
- Small town
My PALS, husband Dave passed away a week ago, July 4th. It was sudden and I did not expect it. Dave had a history of DVT's, pulmonary embolism, and a heart valve issue, which had been monitored closely by a cardiologist over the years. After Dave's ALS diagnosis, we both felt a heart attack or similar event would be the kindest exit we could hope for. We held no hope for a cure and Dave suffered enough with this beastly disease. Through it all, he never once said "why me" and rarely complained about his own problems. His first thoughts were always of me and what a toll this was taking on me. He thanked me every single time I did something for him - every time!
Although cause of death is listed as "Complications of ALS / respiratory failure" it is my belief that Dave had a heart attack or possibly another PE. Unfortunately I was outside for about 25-30 min when whatever event it was took place. I had no warning - he ate breakfast and lunch as usual with no difficulties or complaints and he was watching a baseball game when I went outside. If Dave can be credited with orchestrating his own end, then this is the way he would have wanted it. I am sure he would have wanted to save me from watching him die. He looked peaceful ..... just like he often did when he fell asleep. I cannot begin to describe the emptiness I feel and the hollow feeling in my heart.
Being an agnostic at best, Dave viewed death as a finality. In recent years, and especially as this disease had him fully within it's grasp, we did not talk too much about any "afterlife'. I will continue to hope there is a place for good, kind-hearted people ..... a place where animals, flowers, baseball and books are also allowed! Dave surely would not mind tending the gardens, should there be such a place.
Although cause of death is listed as "Complications of ALS / respiratory failure" it is my belief that Dave had a heart attack or possibly another PE. Unfortunately I was outside for about 25-30 min when whatever event it was took place. I had no warning - he ate breakfast and lunch as usual with no difficulties or complaints and he was watching a baseball game when I went outside. If Dave can be credited with orchestrating his own end, then this is the way he would have wanted it. I am sure he would have wanted to save me from watching him die. He looked peaceful ..... just like he often did when he fell asleep. I cannot begin to describe the emptiness I feel and the hollow feeling in my heart.
Being an agnostic at best, Dave viewed death as a finality. In recent years, and especially as this disease had him fully within it's grasp, we did not talk too much about any "afterlife'. I will continue to hope there is a place for good, kind-hearted people ..... a place where animals, flowers, baseball and books are also allowed! Dave surely would not mind tending the gardens, should there be such a place.