My sister's battle is almost over

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carjellis

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My niece Ordinary Girl told me about this support forum after her first post. Since that time I have checked it daily, and sometimes several times a day. I think the support and care you give to others that have family members or friends with this disease is wonderful, and I wish to thank you. It has been a big help to me in dealing with my sisters battle with this horrible disease. Never in my wildest dreams did I think this disease would effect our family, and had no idea really how bad it was.
Dealing with what my sister has gone thru has changed my perspective on things. I will never have the same mind I did in the past when I hear of someone affected with this disease. I had no idea what it was and what a person went thru. What the caregivers go thru, the helplessness. My mind feels numb from it all, I have this knot in my throat all the time. I have to say this is the hardest thing I have ever gone thru in my life, my 2 sisters are my best friends, and loosing Twila will hurt more than I can imagine.
The things I have read has helped me so much, I carry them with me the days I help care for her. I get tired, my hands get tired from rubbing her feet or hands, and I think Im worn out, I cant do any more.....Then I remembr the post telling me to keep on, it wont be for much longer and when it ends it will be forever. I then remember that very soon I wont have my sister's feet to rub and I am refreshed, I can do it even longer.
My sister Twila's battle is almost at an end. I can't see her making it to next weekend, but her will to live is so strong that she keeps proving us, and her friend who is an RN wrong. I know in God's good time he will welcome her running thru Heaven's gates. What she has been thru, I would love to see her on her feet again and running! It will just have to do for now to know that she will be waiting by that gate when I walk in.
What this forum has done for me and Im sure others like me is give me the strength to go on. To put into perspective what our loved ones are going thru and to always, always remember as Cindy often tells us, get mad at the disease not the person.
Thank you all!

Carla
 

Icanmanz

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Carla, you are a "great champion' in my book. May God bless you, your sweet sister Twila, and your entire family. It is so hard to go through what you are going through right now. The pain is unbearable. Your words dear lady, "Never in my wildest dreams did I think this disease would affect our family." Those were my exact words. I felt so helpless. I told my son that I wished I could help him, but I already knew what was in store for him. I knew, and he knew. He told me that nobody can change God's plan, and he deeply respected that. I knew it was bad, bad, bad news. I knew that we have come to a dead end street, but at the end of that dead end street our Heavenly Father waited for my dear son, and He told us both everything was going to be okay. He told me that it was in His hands. I knew it was going to be painful for my son, and for myslef, but I just had to learn to trust Him.

Like you, carjellis, I will never have the same mind. I may sound odd, but my son's courageous fight against this damn disease made me a stronger person. It taught me not to fear death. I made my son a promise that I would see him on the other side, and I meant it. Carjellis, what I am trying to tell you is that when I first learned of my son's diagnosed, I went through the same feelings you are experiencing right now. After watching my son fade every day before my eyes, I wanted to die right then. I begged God to give me a reason to die for, and I meant it. He, our Father, must have told me, "You wait for your turn." When my son took his last breath I thanked God for ending his suffering. I kept talking to my son as he was dying, and I knew he was dying. I kept begging him to let go, and take his Father's hand, and follow Him to the Promised Land. I told him I would join him later, when my time comes. I cried, we all cried. I felt a terrible pain in my heart that I have never felt before. My heart felt like it broke into a million pieces. Once your loved one's suffering ends He will grant you comfort in such a mysterious way. I know dear, because it happened to me. I will keep you, and your sister in my prayers. Just keep talking to her, soothe her, show her lots and lots of love. It is best for you to prove your love to her now, before she perishes. Once they are gone, it will be the last goodbye. God bless you all. Prayers your way. Feel free to pm me anythime!

Irma
 

CindyM

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Good to hear from you, Carla. Thank you for the kind words. I am glad we are able to offer some comfort to your family; I always say ALS affects the entire family and your experiences show this to be true. I am sorry for what is happening to you and your sisters. Hugs, Cindy
 
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