mysisterskeeper
Active member
- Joined
- Sep 14, 2012
- Messages
- 44
- Reason
- Loved one DX
- Diagnosis
- 00/2000
- Country
- OH
- State
- ohio
- City
- columbus
We really got into it. Last week the hospice doctor came for his visit and we talked about how much she has been biting her tongue and the knot that has formed. He told us to use a swab of chloroseptic for the pain. He also told us to be careful not to get it on her throat or spray her throat because of the numbing and her swallowing issues and how they were a choking hazard. This all being said she has been asking me to spray it on her throat because it has been sore since the weekend. I refuse and tell her why. I have been putting it on her tongue though. I notified hospice and they will check her throat today and i told her this all yesterday before the arguement.
She proceeded to tell me that I don't know how it feels to walk in her shoes and I don't care about her pain. She became so dramatic and started yelling in the voice that sounds like a deaf person because hers is almost gone. I offered her tylenol and ibuprofen because she had just had oxy. She shut down and stared off everytime I talked and yelled when I didn't - I told her someone needed to stand up to her because she was no longer making good decisions all the time. She told me I didn't know what was best for her and she was the one living with als. I told her she was the one and I don't know how it feels and that she didn't know how it felt to be me either and that she made me promise to keep her safe and not let her suffer when she died and that was what I was trying to do. Then I said what are we doing here trying to survive or assisted suicide. She looked at me and I said not on my watch! I will dump this shit out. You are not getting it. She said I will watch. I said fine do it yourself. Get up right now and do it. So I grabbed the chloroseptic of the shelf and went to the sink and poured it out.
Then she makes me call my sister and tell on myself - for why I don't know when she doesn't even help. She insists she is moving out which is funny because there is nobody else I can see. I walked out of the room and came back 5 minutes later to ask if she was in pain or needed anything else. It was all so emotional, and i felt a little guilty for defying her right to choose her care, but I just felt that what she was choosing wasn't safe and didn't want to live with the emotions if something happened.
She proceeded to tell me that I don't know how it feels to walk in her shoes and I don't care about her pain. She became so dramatic and started yelling in the voice that sounds like a deaf person because hers is almost gone. I offered her tylenol and ibuprofen because she had just had oxy. She shut down and stared off everytime I talked and yelled when I didn't - I told her someone needed to stand up to her because she was no longer making good decisions all the time. She told me I didn't know what was best for her and she was the one living with als. I told her she was the one and I don't know how it feels and that she didn't know how it felt to be me either and that she made me promise to keep her safe and not let her suffer when she died and that was what I was trying to do. Then I said what are we doing here trying to survive or assisted suicide. She looked at me and I said not on my watch! I will dump this shit out. You are not getting it. She said I will watch. I said fine do it yourself. Get up right now and do it. So I grabbed the chloroseptic of the shelf and went to the sink and poured it out.
Then she makes me call my sister and tell on myself - for why I don't know when she doesn't even help. She insists she is moving out which is funny because there is nobody else I can see. I walked out of the room and came back 5 minutes later to ask if she was in pain or needed anything else. It was all so emotional, and i felt a little guilty for defying her right to choose her care, but I just felt that what she was choosing wasn't safe and didn't want to live with the emotions if something happened.