My PALS is now in heaven

[NinjaLady]

My love is gone. I feel numb and lost even though I thought I was prepared for this. He hung on so so long, I don’t know how, but he did.

This journey has forever changed me and my family. The little ones seem to be coping okay so far (way more clingy though), and I am trying to find a new normal somewhere. I’ve learned so much and gained quite a bit of insight and perspective...but feel that I have lost so much also.

Although I saw the clear path of the beast, I still find myself questioning how this happened and wondering if I did something wrong or missed something these last few weeks. Could I have done something differently? Reasonable me tells me no, but it happened so fast so I feel doubtful.

I will forever miss my beautiful husband and will never forget him.

Thanks to you on here for your guidance and support.

 

[lgelb]

I'm very sorry that you have lost your love, Ninja, but so glad that he had you at his side. Do not doubt yourself; he would not want that. In time, you will remember what you shared before ALS more clearly than the journey itself, but you are right, there is wisdom and perspective to be taken from the ALS years as well.

Much peace and strength to you and the kids.

Best,
Laurie

 

[Nikki J]

I am so sorry. He was lucky to have you and you did everything possible. May he fly free as he now watches over you and the children

 

[affected]

Oh NinjaLady I am so very sorry for your loss. I hope you quickly find the peace of knowing that you loved him through the worst disease there is - no one can do more than this. You missed nothing, I promise you that as a past CALS who has been right where you are now.

Many hugs to you, I hope someone can give you a little support as you try to comfort the little ones and grieve yourself xxxx

 

[Narrowminded]

Ninja - I am so very sorry for your loss. I know exactly how you feel. It seems surreal. We will walk this journey together. However, I know you did everything humanly possible, he was so blessed by your presence and care. Please be kind to yourself. I’m praying for strength and wisdom for you and your children.

Huge hugs

 

[chally]

Ninja,sending hugs and prayers to you.
Your guy is in a good place now.
Take care of your self

Chally

 

[dldugan]

Condolences. Very sorry for your loss.

 

[Jlynn]

Oh Ninja...you did your very best and that's all you can do. You did a wonderful job and your love was a very lucky man. Take care of yourselfnow. Be easy on yourself. I'm sending you peace and strength through this very difficult time.

 

[wishmobbing]

Dear Ninja, I am very sorry you lost your love to this. I remember you popping up in the roll-call like it was yesterday. Like all the others I too find you an amazing CALS with just SO MUCH to deal with. Take strength in your wonderful kids, they probably need you more than ever and vice versa. I'm sure that sometime telling them old stories about their dad will let you remember a healthy him and make him immortal.
Nothing but good thought to you. You are changed and most likely for the better as you dealt with the beast and survived. You now know, not guess, know, that you're capable of more than you would have thought. This applies to anything in your life. Hugs!

 

[KimT]

Dear Ninja,

Your guy was blessed to have you throughout his illness. He is flying free now.

I'm so sorry for your loss and for all the members of your family.

Now is the time to be kind to yourself. As you adjust, please take good care of yourself.

 

[Angiegal]

So sorry for your loss.

Angie

 

[sassy]

Very sorry for your loss. Sometimes life isn't fair......wishing you and your children strength and comfort.

Sassy

 

[KateEmerson]

I am so sorry for the loss of your husband. You were fighting for him to the end , no one could do more. I'm hoping you can find peace and comfort in the days ahead, Kate

 

[KarenNWendyn]

Your love for your husband was evident. You did a great job dealing with something no one should have to go through.

I’m sorry for you loss. Much peace and strength to you and your family.

 

[Wilson2009]

So sorry for your loss.