• Memoriam wall
    • We've created a memoriam wall to remember our friends
    • If you know someone that battled ALS, please add them here
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fiddleplayer51

Distinguished member
Joined
Mar 24, 2008
Messages
337
Reason
CALS
Diagnosis
03/2008
Country
US
State
VA
City
Harrisonburg
For my husband, confinement in a wheelchair and utter dependence on others was not an option. And, too, the frequent choking on saliva and increasing frequency of laryngospasm, complete inability to speak, worsening respiratory status, and the steady and rapid decline in quality of life propelled him to choose suicide as the only path to take. He has my blessings and eternal love.
On Sunday morning, October 26th he went into the park by our house and shot himself in the head. He died quickly. He had reached his limit of endurance.
Though I feel certain there are those on this forum who would be critical of his choice, perhaps even considering him selfish, I consider him my hero, courageous in his decision, and selfless, determined not to drag it out any longer. How could I possibly wish him to continue on beyond what he himself could endure?
Peace everlasting, dearest one. You have my love forever and we shall be together again someday.
Jane
 

anneinma

Active member
Joined
Aug 6, 2007
Messages
66
Reason
PALS
Country
US
State
MA
City
barnstable
Oh Jane,

My heart is breaking for you. You are so brave. I understand how your dear husband felt as mine died suddenly when he thought he would no longer be able to walk. What a horrible disease. I guess on this Thanksgiving we can be thankful that our beloveds are not suffering.
 

Al

Moderator emeritus
Joined
May 25, 2004
Messages
7,960
Reason
PALS
Diagnosis
10/2003
Country
CA
State
On
City
NW of Toronto
I try not to judge. I did not walk in his shoes. We walk a similar path but mine is different. I feel for the ones he left behind as I would if he had passed on his own. My thoughts are with you and your family.

AL.
 

fiddleplayer51

Distinguished member
Joined
Mar 24, 2008
Messages
337
Reason
CALS
Diagnosis
03/2008
Country
US
State
VA
City
Harrisonburg
Dearest Anne,
I knew you would understand as we exchanged similar ideas in posts back in July.
If you do a search for "multiple deficits" and my username, you'll see the posts we exchanged about the similarities in our husbands who loved to walk. Those postings are under the thread "It's Progressing So Fast!". Particularly my reply to JACKIEMAX on July 11 which is #13 on page 1 of that thread, and my reply to you on July 12 which is #18 on page 2 of that thread.
Blessings to you and your daughter through the holidays and continually as you live out your lives without your dear one. Thank you for your tender words.
Love,
Jane
 

fiddleplayer51

Distinguished member
Joined
Mar 24, 2008
Messages
337
Reason
CALS
Diagnosis
03/2008
Country
US
State
VA
City
Harrisonburg
Dear Al,
Thank you so much. I've not been participating in the forum for quite a long time now, so I've lost touch with where each of you is in your daily life with ALS.
I hope you are doing alright and Lee also. Thank you for your steadfast participation and support of everyone here.
Blessings to you both and to your family through the holidays and onward.

Jane
 

rick/Wpg

Distinguished member
Joined
Jan 4, 2008
Messages
149
Reason
Lost a loved one
Diagnosis
02/2008
Country
CA
State
Manitoba
City
Winnipeg
Hi Jane
We echo Al's sentiments...our paths are all similar but are VERY individual and different!
We respect your husbands decision and bravery in taking the course that he did.
Your posts so reflect your deep love and care for him, and are an inspiration to us all.
Never forget that you are a hero as well as he!
Our hearts break for you and your family in this, the most difficult of times. Our thoughts and prayers are with you and yours.
Rick & Joan
 

BethU

Extremely helpful member
Joined
May 11, 2008
Messages
2,644
Reason
PALS
Diagnosis
05/2008
Country
US
State
California
City
Los Angeles
Jane ... you have my deepest sympathies. Bless you for supporting your husband's choice. I am glad he is free and at peace.
 

sdsyd

Distinguished member
Joined
May 22, 2008
Messages
329
Country
US
State
sd
City
piedmont
I am sad that you have lost your lifemate. I am proud of you for supporting his decision and your love for him shows through. My sympathy to you and your family as you grieve.

Cindy
 

freddiesnetty

Distinguished member
Joined
Nov 2, 2007
Messages
239
Diagnosis
12/2006
Country
US
State
Tx
City
Houston
I am so sorry that this has happened. I do not nor will I EVER JUDGE anyone that has to go through this living hell. I think sometimes if Freddie could he would take the same approach. We are not the ones that are TRAPPED in these bodies, with their MINDS in tact. I don't know what I would do myself being handed a death sentence. I know that watching Freddie waste away to nothing is like living in hell here on earth. I feel that no one has the right to judge anyone unless they have walked in their shoes.
Yes, we are all in the same boat....but just on different seas......This is not a cookie cutter disease, so our pals all suffer differently but still in the same way. If that can make sense....Do not let anyone make you feel like he was a coward...........I hope that we can all just know that we all want to see our children and grandchildren grow up, but sometimes it may just be from a different view! We can not judge ANYONE!
I pray that you will get through these tough times. Do know that your friends here on the forum are here for you..
Your Friend
netty
 

trying to stay positive

Distinguished member
Joined
Sep 17, 2007
Messages
300
Reason
CALS
Diagnosis
08/2007
Country
US
State
Illinois
City
Chicago area
Jane,
I am so sorry for your loss, but glad that your husband is no longer suffering. I can only echo the sentiments of others here. Everyone's ALS path is different, as each person is. He was so blessed to have you. My prayers are with you and your family.
 

rose

Extremely helpful member
Joined
Mar 29, 2008
Messages
2,879
Reason
DX MND
Diagnosis
7/2008
Country
US
State
Maryland
City
Anytown
Jane, I am so, so sorry for your loss. Your love for him is very evident. I hope you and your family are able to get through this time of grieving and be sustained by the good memories. All the best to you.
 

Zaphoon

Extremely helpful member
Joined
Aug 2, 2008
Messages
2,855
Reason
DX UMND/PLS
Diagnosis
08/2011
Country
US
State
Missouri
City
Springfield
Jane,

I am sorry for your loss. The fight is over. May you find comfort in your mourning.

Kim
 

KeeKer

Senior member
Joined
Nov 17, 2008
Messages
830
Reason
Loved one DX
Diagnosis
08/2007
Country
CA
State
SK
City
Theodore
Sorry for your loss, hope that you can find some happiness in your memories.
 

brendapals

Senior member
Joined
Jul 6, 2008
Messages
953
Reason
PALS
Diagnosis
06/2008
Country
US
State
any
City
any
Jane,
I give you my sincere sympathy in your loss. May you find comfort in memories of your husband and also knowing that he is free of ALS,
Regards,
brenda
 

fiddleplayer51

Distinguished member
Joined
Mar 24, 2008
Messages
337
Reason
CALS
Diagnosis
03/2008
Country
US
State
VA
City
Harrisonburg
Thank you all for your kindness and understanding. It's truly amazing that none of us has met each other or really knows each other, and yet because of our individual walks through this horrible disease we are able to embrace and support each other with understanding that might be difficult for those who have not walked this road to comprehend. May we continue to remember each other as we either continue on the road with our PALS or attempt to recover from this rough and sad journey.
Peace to each one of you and your families. Happy Thanksgiving and blessings always.
Jane
 
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