My pals ambushed by kids!

[SLAUGHTER1555]

So i haven't been out the house by myself since June 2015 so the first time I get a chance to get out the house on my own why 2 of my PALS kids come over to the house with the brother, neice, sister and son on the phone without my knowledge to question him about freakin life insurance! UGHHHHHH REALLY PPL! They lied to the sister who thought she was there to encourage him to get home health care and the sister called the brother who is 80 to come see him as well. He took had no clue and thought it was for encouragement! My PALS was caught off guard and he told me he told them he was not comfortable discussingredients me while I was not with him. They are upset their name is not on the policy ummm hello I'm the wife! He texted me while I was out and I was furious! He said his daughter looked at him with disgust as she left smh so sad! So after they left he began to gag like he does when he is afraid or upset smh the younger son was there but he had no clue about the gagging omgoodness he thought he was choking I mean seriously who does that! We have been at odds with his kids for 3yrs now and I'm done! We don't owe theme anything it's our marriage! They are officially kicked out the marriage and if we don't speak again fine! I made it known they are no longer welcome in my heart and don't come to my house unannounced again. Smh they set me up! The younger girl knew I was going to be gone I told her that morning she waited and called all of them. Guess what guys he is life insurance is worth 11,000 bucks smh that's not money! And if we get more, cuz if the diagnosis it will be high and you have to have it for 2yrs for it to be worth something smh. I was so angry with what they did to my PALS! Just typing this brings tears to my eyes! These are his kids! Wow! Amazing what ppl do for money! And to top it off the eldest kid texted and told him she wanted any processions she gave him back now while he was living! I was floored! He told her no! Then she texterm and lied asking for his legal name to change her birth certificate but we believe she's trying to get life insurance in his name to get paid! Smh my God he is not dead stupid kids! I want to scream! :shock::shock::shock::shock::shock::sad::sad::sad::sad::sad:

 

[Nuts]

It's heartbreaking when the family is at odds like this. Wow. I've seen some ugly behavior by family when a member dies, but this nasty disease brings it out early if it's going to happen. Did you have a good relationship before ALS entered your lives?

BTW...if she had her original birth certificate she had his legal name. that one wasn't even smart. Hey, let her try to get life insurance on him. With his diagnosis, she won't be able to and will be wasting her own time.

 

[poppies]

Oh my word. I am so sorry. What an awful thing to happen on your one and only trip out. We have also had family issues this past week, but nothing even touching on that. So sorry!

 

[cheerleader]

Slaughter, think most of us just don't know how to respond to such a horrible scenario. Obviously, these are not the lovely, caring children he had hoped to raise. A sad commentary on the "me generation!" Thankfully, we have seen so much devotion from children of PALS that your story is a shock. Hang in there for him. His heart must be broken that his money means more then his peace of mind to them. Hugs to you both. Donna

 

[Atsugi]

ALS does many strange things to families. It saddens me.

Stay strong Slaughter. --Mike

 

[Loverly]

This is so horribly sad! I'm sorry you had to go through this. Stupid people must not realize that the law is on your side. Unless he writes his will otherwise, all his assets come to the wife, regardless of the children's wishes. Shame on them for caring more about who inherits more than their father/brother.

My father and stepmother plan to leave me their share of OUR house in the event of their deaths. Partly because I own half and partly because i am here, everyday, taking care of them. When my stepbrother was told he was visibly disturbed by it, but that hasn't made him spend any more time with his mother.

Fortunately those types of people never do more than complain and snipe at each other. They will fade away.

hang in there baby, and call the ALSA next time you need respite. They will help you get out of the house.

Oh, and regarding them visiting again? Say no to all visits unless they apologize and are sincerely contrite for the way they treated both of you. Protect your husband and they can worry about their own souls.

<3

 

[Nuts]

Stupid people must not realize that the law is on your side. Unless he writes his will otherwise, all his assets come to the wife, regardless of the children's wishes.

Actually, in some states, when there are children from a previous marraige, in the absence of a will a significant portion of the deceased's share of the estate goes to those children. Having a will and being careful about how you title property is very important.

 

[cheerleader]

Slaughter, like all of us faced with this diagnosis, be sure everything is in order with your wills, titles in both names for your car, house, etc. that was how we spent that first horrible month after diagnosis, as he wanted to be sure I would be okay when he was gone. This may be a hard talk to have but, it is so necessary, especially in second marriages.

 

[zoohouse]

I have also heard that if he wills them each a dollar it shows that he has considered them and they can't contest it.

 

[zoohouse]

I am so sorry that you and your husband have to be going through this.

 

[SLAUGHTER1555]

Thanks everyone for your concern so the eldest daughter repeatedly texted him and harassed him until his brother and sister had to tell him to stop reading the text. He had such a horrible night after all those text but since then we have not heard anything else and i m glad for that now just trying to focus on us and still getting things in order. We just did his power of attorney at the hospital and now for his one of his accounts. Whats sad is there is barely any life insurance to get if the lord decided to call him home, it would only pay for funeral thats it there is nothing there to pay any bills at all. This was insurance he had before we married so it was set up with very little coverage had we know this we would have gotten insurance and been paying on this but now we cant really get any insurance and if we do again you have to have it for the 2yrs so it is what it is God knows all things. On another note didnt know ALS could help with respite but i feel so bad having to leave him with strangers as i go out to enjoy life i dont know if i can do and if i did go out i would only think of him and text and call smh so i dont know. I'm trying to get him to contact friends so he can get out. Well again thanks for caring about us and our situation. God bless

 

[Nuts]

Slaughter, please do set up respite care. You will feel guilty, but you need to get out. At some point you will need it just to get necessary trips done (shopping, for instance). Your mental health is at risk--even a peaceful walk can do wonders for you. Start now so that he's used to people coming in...it may get harder for him as he depends more and more on you.

I'm so sorry that his kids are interested only in what they can get from him. They could be great help if they focused on loving him, instead.

 

[Loverly]

Slaughter, please do set up respite care. You will feel guilty, but you need to get out. At some point you will need it just to get necessary trips done (shopping, for instance). Your mental health is at risk--even a peaceful walk can do wonders for you. Start now so that he's used to people coming in...it may get harder for him as he depends more and more on you.

I'm so sorry that his kids are interested only in what they can get from him. They could be great help if they focused on loving him, instead.

She said it all! I feel guilty every single time I complain about some nonsensical thing to Kathy, or even eat in front of her, but you cannot stop eating or walking or caring for yourself. As a healthy person you MUST do those things in order to stay healthy physically and mentally. Laughing and relaxing are part of it too. He really needs you to do this so you can be there for him.

 

[DreamsEnd]

Those children are outrageous! Can your husbands brother and sister tell them to back off? It takes such a toll on your pals with this emotional struggle. It is so sad.
Know that in AZ at least a financial POA stops upon death, but a trust then takes over.
You can also start hospice if you haven't already and there is some respite from CNAs so you can get out a little. Speaking to the choir here as I only got out 3 times in 10 months even though I had help. I just couldn't leave my pals except for quick trips to the grocery store.

Big hugs and I'm crying with you.

Sherry

 

[skipper66]

I can't believe those kids doing that to their dad. That is absolutely sickening. My dad has ALS and my mother passed away 18 years ago of cancer. My dad cashed in one of his life insurance policies already. But, dad is 81. The money goes to his 6 grandchildren once they reach 21.
You and your husband don't deserve the stress of having to put up with all that. I would get a good lawyer and lock of your valueable if they do come in unannounced. They sound like they are capable of anything. Hugs, Kim