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Kathryn

New member
Joined
Oct 29, 2006
Messages
5
Reason
PALS
Country
US
State
OH
City
Cincinnati
This is my first post. I have been reading the forum for awhile and it has been just what I was needing. Sometimes when I wake in the night, I go to the computer and read for an hour or so, until I feel sleepy again. Last night I sobbed after reading Sara and Autumn’s threads. Here’s my mother’s story.
My mother started having her first symptoms on November 3rd of 2003, limb onset, finally diagnosed in July of 2005. (Diagnosed as spinal stenosis by first neurologist, had lumbar lamenectomy (sp?) surgery.) She is 82, living at home still with my 85 year old dad, who has dementia. My mother functions almost better than dad, at least with her mind. He is as spry as can be, however and always adorable! Mother is a real warrior, having made it thus far living at home with someone coming in only from 9am to 12pm to help with meals, and until just recently, now someone else coming from 3pm to 6pm to help her take a shower and get in bed. No one on the weekends or at night. She is totally in a wheelchair, losing her right hand, still having some function in her left, with a scratchy sounding voice. Dad helps some, but not real attentive. Probably very stressful for him. He gets mixed up on days and if it is morning or night. Sometimes goes to bed at 4:00 in the afternoon. I have offered to take him in, but he does not want to come to Ohio because he says it is too cold. He gets cold feet in Texas, if you can believe that.
My husband and I live in Ohio with a 16 yr. old still at home, one just went off to college. Mother refuses to come live with me. Never one to impose, but is finally getter close to agreeing to go into a nursing home close to me. I think the weekends are getting to be too much.
I guess my question to Sara and Autumn is how did you do it? I want to be there for mother so much. Her biggest fear was to go in the local nursing home in the small town in Texas where they are from. She refuses everytime I say to come live with me. Part of me is worried, too, that I may neglect my teenager and not give her the time and watchful eye that I need to give her this next year and a half before she goes off to school. I have found a couple of nice nursing homes for her to stay, one within a block of our home.
Actually, this post is not to just Sara and Autumn, anyone… Al, you are such a rock! God love you all and thank God for this forum.

Kathy
 
I Feel Your Pain

KATHY, HaVEN'T READ THE GIRLS STORIES, BUT I'LL TRY TO BE BRIEF 15 YRS AGO. AND MY 2 YOUNG GIRLS & I (HUSBAND GONE ALOT) TOOK CARE OF PARENTS BACK TO BACK WITH CA . MOM ALSO HAD SPINAL DISEASE. MY SITUATION WAS VERY DIFF. WE LIVED CLOSE. BUT DURING THIS I HAD TO QUIT MY JOB TO TAKE CARE OF THEM. THIS CAUSED US TO LOSE OUR HOME.( MOVED IN WITH THEM ) HARD, BUT WORTH IT WE NOW HAVE A HOUSE 2X BIGGER SO ALL IS WELL. OH, HOW THANKFUL I AM TO HAVE SHARED THEIR DEATH. MY GIRLS REALLY GAVE UP A LOT 4 SUMMERS IN THE MIDDLE OF CA. BUT, THEY NEVER COMPLAINED. I'M SAYING THIS TO TELL YOU , EVERY ONES SITUATION IS DIFFERENT .BUT, WITH YOUR HEALTH YOU MY NOT BE ABLE TO DO ANYTHING. DO YOU HAVE HELP ?YOU HAVE ALOT OF THING TO CONCIDER. I'M SO THANKFUL I HAD GOOD HEALTH BACK THEN. SOUNNDS LIKE THE NURSING HOME WOULD BE A GOOD CHOICE. I'LL PRAY FOR YOU SO FOLLOW YOU HEART KATHY, EITHER WAY YOU CHOSE, YOU WANT BE WROUNG JUST DO THE BEST YOU CAN DO. I NOW HAVE ALS ALSO AND I SO HOPE I WILL HAVE THE CARE & LOVE I GAVE MY PARENTS. THEY SO DESERVED IT. GODS LOVE AND PEACE TO YOU. JANF :-D MERRY CHRISTMAS HOPE I'VE HELPED ALITTLE.
 
Kathy,
I know what you are going through. Our situation is very similar. I live in Michigan, Mom and Dad in Mississippi. Mom w/als and Dad onset of Dimentia/alzheimers. I have a sister in Mississippi that has been trying to help out but not enough. Mom was just moved to a personal care home (group home type) and things are improving alot. Mom is relieved that Dad is not so stressed and tired and she also feels safer for herself. She still is worrying about Dad being alone at home because he doesn't always remember to take meds but I call him in am and pm to check on him. Don't lose hope...My parents are sooooooooo bull headed and wouldn't ever move back to Michigan (too cold) but they are trying to make it on their own. I trust in God, pray and try not to worry my head off or cry myself a river too often. Some days that's a struggle. You will find what will work best for your situation. Good luck, Merry Christmas and God Bless. Take care. Check in here for any questions and support you need. This group has gotten me through my situation and I couldn't have done any of it without the support I receive here.

Best wishes,
Laura
 
Thanks Jan and Laura for your support. Jan, you may have misunderstood, but my health is fine, thank goodness. Hope you both have a wonderful holiday!
Kathy
 
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