theotherginger
New member
- Joined
- Mar 30, 2018
- Messages
- 3
- Reason
- Loved one DX
- Diagnosis
- 06/2017
- Country
- US
- State
- PA
- City
- Philadelphia
My mother was diagnosed last year. The majority of her body has succumbed to ALS. She can still speak, move her left arm, and her neck.
Over the past few weeks, her mental state has changed. She has always been someone who speaks her mind, and in some cases - should not - but rarely to this extent. However - she can be spiteful, and she is the type of person who will say the meanest insult during a fight just to have the last word... and then, apologize later but still believe she is right.
She said cruel, horrible things to me and my father. She even went so far as to tell me she "hopes I die in a plane crash en route during my honeymoon" (this was her reaction when I was not able to text her back while in a work meeting). She called back to apologize for saying that comment, but ended it with "I still hope you have a horrible time on your honeymoon".
Believe or not, the things she has said to my father - her primary caregiver; the most patient and caring person I know - are worse. He never complains... he has taken care of my older brother for 37 years (severely handicap and brain damaged - imagine a 6 month old baby forever) and now he also takes care of my mother. My younger brothers and I help in any way we can, but she prefers my father to assist her - even with the cruel things she says.
Everything we read says the brain is not affected! So, what the f*ck??? I get it - this is awful. I cannot imagine the pain, frustration and sadness my mother feels. And I know we hurt the ones we love most, because we know they will forgive us... but this is ridiculous. My father's life is miserable. He can't leave the house and he can't do anything right by my mother.
Have other caregivers experienced mental abuse from their loved ones with ALS?
We are hanging on a thread. The other night I wanted to drop her off at a facility for 24 hours, just so she could experience that horror for a day. I don't feel bad. I don't care if this sounds selfish. We go above and beyond for her. On Saturday, my father redid her hair five times, and still she screamed at him and called a hairdresser to come over. He's not a hairdresser!! He's a 67 year old man who is doing his best to take care of his wife.
She is a nightmare. And truthfully... her mother was the same way (diabetes, confined to a chair). So, I'm grasping at anything that can make me think it's her ALS and be more forgiving... but not much is helping.
Thank you for reading.
Over the past few weeks, her mental state has changed. She has always been someone who speaks her mind, and in some cases - should not - but rarely to this extent. However - she can be spiteful, and she is the type of person who will say the meanest insult during a fight just to have the last word... and then, apologize later but still believe she is right.
She said cruel, horrible things to me and my father. She even went so far as to tell me she "hopes I die in a plane crash en route during my honeymoon" (this was her reaction when I was not able to text her back while in a work meeting). She called back to apologize for saying that comment, but ended it with "I still hope you have a horrible time on your honeymoon".
Believe or not, the things she has said to my father - her primary caregiver; the most patient and caring person I know - are worse. He never complains... he has taken care of my older brother for 37 years (severely handicap and brain damaged - imagine a 6 month old baby forever) and now he also takes care of my mother. My younger brothers and I help in any way we can, but she prefers my father to assist her - even with the cruel things she says.
Everything we read says the brain is not affected! So, what the f*ck??? I get it - this is awful. I cannot imagine the pain, frustration and sadness my mother feels. And I know we hurt the ones we love most, because we know they will forgive us... but this is ridiculous. My father's life is miserable. He can't leave the house and he can't do anything right by my mother.
Have other caregivers experienced mental abuse from their loved ones with ALS?
We are hanging on a thread. The other night I wanted to drop her off at a facility for 24 hours, just so she could experience that horror for a day. I don't feel bad. I don't care if this sounds selfish. We go above and beyond for her. On Saturday, my father redid her hair five times, and still she screamed at him and called a hairdresser to come over. He's not a hairdresser!! He's a 67 year old man who is doing his best to take care of his wife.
She is a nightmare. And truthfully... her mother was the same way (diabetes, confined to a chair). So, I'm grasping at anything that can make me think it's her ALS and be more forgiving... but not much is helping.
Thank you for reading.