I don't post much - but I read a LOT here. This site has been my lifeline for me and my mom. The last I posted the whole home care vs nursing home thing was driving me nuts - I wanted to take care of mom. Then I got hospitalized for over a week with MRSA (I kid you not)
I got out and for a week I was on a hideous antibiotic making me ill so I was on my couch.
I finally felt better - and we had decided that we would move mom into hospice - she was eligable due toher ALS diagnosis. It was quieter and the people were far more attentive, etc.
I saw her Monday evening. We helped move her to her room. We settled her in. My husband stopped in the next morning. We couldn't go in the evening because we had done NO shopping for our kids. So we let her know.
Our Christmas eve was to be spent all day with her - then Christmas day more of the same.
At 7:30 am - the phone rang.
My mom passed in the early morning.
She passed in her sleep.
I kept looking at her waiting for her to take her breath...
She was quiet. And at rest. Her hands were still warm.
I had a hard time leaving the room.
The nurse only knew her for two mornings and was shook up - she said that she had never seen anything like it: someone moves in - is comfortable - no signs of wrestlesness at all - and just quietly goes...
The helpers from the rehab facility (2 floors up) came down to my mom's room. And they were even crying. One even petted her hair and said, "She's so beautiful..." and I started crying. I can't stop crying.
I will say that in reading everyone's journeys here - I felt a *bit* prepared... but this is just freaking heartbreaking. I cannot believe she is gone. And so FAST. I mean - we were thinking 6 months - she was doing ok... I am in shock. I lost my mom. That was never supposed to happen.
I spent Christmas eve at the Funeral Home filling out this picking out that. They have Christmas music piping in = it's a local pop station. So I am sitting there with tear stains all down my cheeks and I hear Paul McArtney sing "we're simply having a wonderful christmas time!" and its sugury and upbeat. I took one look at my husband and we both just cracked up.
I hate that this disease took her body and stole her breath.
I still celebrate the Lord and this Christmas Day - imagining that my mom left because she couldn't stand the thought of being with me for the holidays ;-) and imagining that she is now dancing with my dad... and that she...
is free.
I got out and for a week I was on a hideous antibiotic making me ill so I was on my couch.
I finally felt better - and we had decided that we would move mom into hospice - she was eligable due toher ALS diagnosis. It was quieter and the people were far more attentive, etc.
I saw her Monday evening. We helped move her to her room. We settled her in. My husband stopped in the next morning. We couldn't go in the evening because we had done NO shopping for our kids. So we let her know.
Our Christmas eve was to be spent all day with her - then Christmas day more of the same.
At 7:30 am - the phone rang.
My mom passed in the early morning.
She passed in her sleep.
I kept looking at her waiting for her to take her breath...
She was quiet. And at rest. Her hands were still warm.
I had a hard time leaving the room.
The nurse only knew her for two mornings and was shook up - she said that she had never seen anything like it: someone moves in - is comfortable - no signs of wrestlesness at all - and just quietly goes...
The helpers from the rehab facility (2 floors up) came down to my mom's room. And they were even crying. One even petted her hair and said, "She's so beautiful..." and I started crying. I can't stop crying.
I will say that in reading everyone's journeys here - I felt a *bit* prepared... but this is just freaking heartbreaking. I cannot believe she is gone. And so FAST. I mean - we were thinking 6 months - she was doing ok... I am in shock. I lost my mom. That was never supposed to happen.
I spent Christmas eve at the Funeral Home filling out this picking out that. They have Christmas music piping in = it's a local pop station. So I am sitting there with tear stains all down my cheeks and I hear Paul McArtney sing "we're simply having a wonderful christmas time!" and its sugury and upbeat. I took one look at my husband and we both just cracked up.
I hate that this disease took her body and stole her breath.
I still celebrate the Lord and this Christmas Day - imagining that my mom left because she couldn't stand the thought of being with me for the holidays ;-) and imagining that she is now dancing with my dad... and that she...
is free.
