• Memoriam wall
    • We've created a memoriam wall to remember our friends
    • If you know someone that battled ALS, please add them here
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awhite1027

New member
Joined
Dec 10, 2012
Messages
5
Reason
Lost a loved one
Diagnosis
11/2012
Country
US
State
MA
City
Winthrop
February 28, 2015 at 2am my mom lost the battle to ALS and heaven gained an angel. I feel completely broken. My mom was 56 and was diagnosed in 2012. I miss her everyday. The only thing I know is that she is no longer suffering. I know its selfish to wish she was still here because I know she was in pain all the time but she was still here. I could talk to her and even though her responses were down to blinking once for yes and two for no, she was still here. My two sisters have kids and are married, they had her for both. My brother and I aren't married yet and we don't have any kids yet and we won't get to have her here for those things. I know she will be with us but it won't be the same. She was the strongest person I know. I don't know how to not cry everyday. I just miss her so much.
 

Barbie

Extremely helpful member
Joined
Dec 29, 2007
Messages
2,659
Reason
Lost a loved one
Diagnosis
01/2007
Country
US
State
FL
City
orlando
sending you a hug...it is so hard and I am sorry for your loss. it takes time and not much has past yet for you, so be kind to yourself for a while.
 

Nikki J

Moderator
Joined
Mar 22, 2012
Messages
10,694
Reason
PALS
Diagnosis
04/2014
Country
US
State
MA
City
Boston
I am so very sorry. As Barbie says please take care of yourself. Sending another virtual hug
 

azgirl

Senior member
Joined
Jan 20, 2014
Messages
956
Reason
PALS
Diagnosis
12/2013
Country
US
State
AZ
City
Tucson
I am so sorry for your loss. This hit close to home for me. I am 57. Two children. One married with 10 month old I'm doing my best to know. I've made them promise to have future grandchildren know me through stories, pictures and still be a part of their lives forever and always. Not how I planned. But still alive within them. Sounds like you had a relationship with your mom to treasure. That's a beautiful thing to cherish.
 

awhite1027

New member
Joined
Dec 10, 2012
Messages
5
Reason
Lost a loved one
Diagnosis
11/2012
Country
US
State
MA
City
Winthrop
Thank you everyone for your kind words. We made that same promise to my mom. We will never let any of our children forget or not know who she was. She wrote us all letters which is nice to have. Me and my oldest sister also wrote her letters to let her know exactly what we wanted her to know. My brother and other sister were able to tell her In person without breaking down. Me and my sister were primary caregivers along with my dad and made her laugh and smile every chance we could. I will cherish every second I had with her.
 

cheerleader

Senior member
Joined
Jul 6, 2013
Messages
977
Reason
Lost a loved one
Diagnosis
08/2012
Country
US
State
Midwest
City
Small town
Dear Awhite, I am crying for you and your loss. ALS takes so much from us all- but it obviously didn't steal your love and the closeness you shared with your mom. Keep hold of those memories and know that the tears will continue to come easily, but the treasured times help counteract the tears. Hugs to you. Donna
 

Janie H

Senior member
Joined
Jun 23, 2013
Messages
714
Reason
PALS
Diagnosis
06/2013
Country
US
State
South Carolina
City
Rock Hill
Awhite1027 your mother would not want you to suffer, she is in a better place, I am 54, have 2 children who are emotional about me leaving them. I would hope that they would think of me with a smile. I know it's all too new at this time, I pray for you and your brother.

Janie
 

awhite1027

New member
Joined
Dec 10, 2012
Messages
5
Reason
Lost a loved one
Diagnosis
11/2012
Country
US
State
MA
City
Winthrop
I do think of her everyday and smile. We had so much fun together and she took us on all kinds of trips. We have a full wall of pictures from all of our trips as a family. I cant help crying everyday though. I miss her and I will miss her forever. We are all so close so we are helping each other. I am truly sorry that all of you are going through this as well. It has been the worst experience having to watch my mother go through what she did. Its not fair and no one deserves to deal with this disease. I came on here once when my mom was first diagnosed and then I stayed off. I can see that everyone here is so helpful to each other and I wish I had stayed to continuously work through this. Thank you for your help and kind words. I know she is looking down on me everyday and I am relieved that she is not in pain anymore.
 

skipper66

Very helpful member
Joined
May 20, 2012
Messages
1,478
Reason
Lost a loved one
Diagnosis
00/0000
Country
US
State
IL
City
SMALL TOWN IN
I am so sorry for your loss and I so get everything you are saying. My mother passed away 17 1/2 years ago at the young age of 55 of colon cancer. I was 6 1/2 months pregnant with our twins at the time. My mom was my world and I was beyond devastated. I cried and cried and did actually have to take the antidepressant Paxil for a short while. It will take lots and lots of time sweetheart but eventually your heart will start to heal. You will smile and no longer shed tears as much. I had trouble with this one. Because, I thought that people would think I no longer cared if I didn't cry all the time. But, that is such a wrong way of thinking about it all. When you smile it means you are grateful that you had the experience of having someone so special and loving in your life.
I am so frightend right now. Because, my dad now has ALS and is also not young at age 80. He is at the age he could easily pass away even if he didn't have this awful disease. It is the worst pain in the world to lose a parent or a child. Sending you a huge hug. I'm sure your mother is very proud of you. Remember, she wants more then anything for you to be happy. So, do just that. She's on the sidelines cheering you on. You just can't see her. Love, Kim
 

rosec

Distinguished member
Joined
Aug 2, 2012
Messages
330
Reason
Lost a loved one
Diagnosis
11/2009
Country
US
State
CA
City
Costa Mesa
Sorry for your loss. Peace and strength to you and yours.
 

djbailey

Distinguished member
Forum Supporter
Joined
Jan 9, 2015
Messages
100
Reason
Lost a loved one
Diagnosis
03/2014
Country
US
State
SC
City
Mount Pleasant
Our harts go out to you and your family, may your mom sore with the angels.
 

lgelb

Moderator
Forum Supporter
Joined
Nov 5, 2009
Messages
10,279
Reason
Lost a loved one
Diagnosis
00/0000
Country
US
State
WA
City
Seattle
AW, she was lucky to have all of you. It does get better. And, as you say, she will always be with you. And when you find someone and have kids, everything she taught and showed you will enrich your life, your children and theirs.
 

anderkling

Distinguished member
Joined
Dec 1, 2014
Messages
270
Reason
PALS
Diagnosis
01/2015
Country
CA
State
B.C.
City
Surrey
It is obvious through your posts that you were a deeply loving daughter to your mom. You brought her much comfort and joy in her suffering, making her laugh. What a precious gift of yourself to her! Though she is gone from this earth, your love for her will remain strong your whole life. You have the many wonderful memories of trips together as several golden threads woven into the tapestry of your life. You will draw comfort from these memories. Your mom gave you life . . . she taught you how to love, how to conduct yourself in this world, how to be a young lady . . . she is a part of you and you of her. You will live your life following in her footsteps, in the ways she taught you. And in time your tremendous sorrow will ease and be replaced by overflowing gratitude for so wonderful a mother. Lots of love to you and your family in this time of sorrow.
- Charlene
 

dldred

Senior member
Joined
Mar 31, 2009
Messages
529
Reason
Lost a loved one
Diagnosis
03/2009
Country
US
State
NY
City
Chateaugay
I am sorry for your loss, it sounds like you have a very special angel now watching over you. Don't be afraid to shed a few tears, I think it helps to do that. Keep those wonderful memories close to your heart and your mom will never really be gone. Thoughts and prayers go out to you.

Dana
 

MaxEidswick

Legendary member
Joined
Sep 1, 2013
Messages
5,567
Reason
PALS
Diagnosis
08/2013
Country
US
State
Texas
City
Pinehurst
our condolences. we never forget!
 
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