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Tessycakes

New member
Joined
Sep 11, 2013
Messages
1
Reason
Loved one DX
Country
CA
State
BC
City
Vancouver
Hello,
My mom was diagnosed in December 2011, with symptoms two years before. Her disease has progressed quickly. She has lost the ability to speak, eat, use he right hand, and now slowly is losing her strength in her legs and left hand. I'm so scared. It's all been going so fast for me.
My mom and I are very close. She is my best friend. Seeing her slowly slip away is heartbreaking. I am very depressed, stressed out. At first I didn't think about it much, was In denial. We all acted like she was fine in the beginning, and now I'm finding it really hard to come to terms with it. I'm once again going back to the depression and low self esteem/confidence I finally got past before this all happened. I'm 21. Im looking for some ideas and help with caring for my mom as well as dealing with the sadness.

Thank you
Tessycakes
 
Were you seeing a therapist when you beat your last despressive episode? If so go back to him/her and let them know what's going on. It could be you need some meds to help also. They call ALS a family disease... as caregiver you also need care!
 
Hi Tessy,

It is completely understandable that you are struggling. you are grieving--it is called anticipatory grief and very real. You are 21, and it is a lot to handle. if you are caring for your mom at that young age you need to give your self a big pat on the back and be proud of yourself.

Katie is right--find a therapist and talk with your doctor about some low dose antidepressants. Being a CALS is so hard --they can take the edge off so you do not feel that deep sadness all the time.

Please talk to any of us here--we all understand and have lots of good ideas to help you
 
Tessy,

Do you have an ALS clinic near? I would encourage you to seek out other CALS and families that have ALS. Remember that what you are feeling is OKAY to feel. Talking to others that are experiencing what you are experiencing might be very helpful. My mom had ALS for five years, the first couple were okay, and the last two were a lot like what you describe. Two days after she passed (6 days ago), I find out that there is a family not four blocks from my house and the dad has ALS. I can not presume that they would want to connect with us, but I would have tried.
 
Tessy, I am 23 and my mother is 52, diagnosed about a year ago with als. You are not alone! I have tried antidepressants and they helped for a little but I stopped taking them because of the withdrawals I would have since I would forget to take them everyday. You have to surround yourself with supportive friends that don't mind to hear you vent, or seek counseling. Expressing my feelings is something that helps me get through everyday. I can tell you it won't get any easier but being strong for your mother is the best thing for both of you. Everyone else has given good advice. Contact your local als representative if you have questions. This forum is very helpful and we are all here to support each other. Hold on.
 
Hello,
My mother was just diagnosed with bulbar onset ALS in August this year. I'm 23 and not dealing with the news very well, I feel the same as you described... Denial. Now I can feel the stress and depression so much it is hard to go day to day. It's good to read all of your posts and get some advice.
 
So sorry you are going through this at such a young age. I wish there were answers. My husband is quickly progressing also. he is on a vent and I just finishing bagging him. I think all of us who are going through this has had depression. I thank The Lord for getting me through the day and ask that he gets me through tomorrow. Once you accept the outcome of this, you will find a little bit of peace. Seeing someone you love die a little each day is the hardest thing I've faced. I will be thinking of you.
 
Hi Tessycakes,
Please take everyone's advice and see a therapist if you aren't already. I think a very low dose of a antidepressant would be a good idea to discuss with them. I lost my mother to colon cancer when I was 31 and pregnant with our twins. Now my dad has ALS. I see a psychiatrist and a therapist both to help deal with it all. Unfortunately, I have a depression problem to begin with. The situation with your mother unfortunately isn't going to get better. But, I guarantee you will get inner strength and peace from you being there when she needs you most. Ask God to be there and to help you. He pulled me through it. Take care, Kim
 
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