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My love is gone

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jayswife

Active member
Joined
Feb 11, 2016
Messages
71
Reason
CALS
Diagnosis
04/2014
Country
US
State
ct
Jay passed on August 9th while in hospice at the hospital. His breathing starting getting bad the week before. He never had any trouble breathing until August 1st. My heart breaks that he didn't pass at home where I always told him he would be. But on August 4th I woke up to realize that he didn't call for me all night. When I saw him his lips were white and his blood pressure was super low. I called an ambulance because I thought maybe there was something that could be fixed. But there wasn't. And I feel so guilty that I didn't transport him home but he wasn't good at all. They had to keep increasing the morphine. My love is gone and I will forever miss him. Thank you all for the help and support that you've provided.
 

lgelb

Forum Supporter
Moderator
Joined
Nov 5, 2009
Messages
7,262
Reason
Lost a loved one
Diagnosis
09/2009
Country
US
State
WA
I'm so sorry.

Jay knew how much you cared for him and he would know that whenever he was last conscious. Don't feel guilty-- it will take a while but you will remember the kindness and strength that you showed, and the good times, more than how he passed on.

Best,
Laurie
 

Manhattanite

Distinguished member
Joined
May 10, 2015
Messages
209
Reason
Lost a loved one
Diagnosis
05/2015
Country
US
State
NY
How my heart breaks for you. I know this ws a difficult process for you during the illness but I always admired your strength. I am glad you found good advice in this forum. Thinking of you on this new stage of recovery for yourself. Hugs.
 

Nikki J

Moderator
Joined
Mar 22, 2012
Messages
7,250
Reason
PALS
Diagnosis
04/2014
Country
US
State
MA
I am very sorry for your loss. You were a fabulous CALS. Peace and comfort to you as Jay flies free
 

affected

Guru status reached
Joined
Apr 26, 2013
Messages
11,529
Reason
Lost a loved one
Diagnosis
05/2013
Country
OZ
State
home
I'm so very sorry for your loss xxx
 

NothingButLove

Distinguished member
Joined
Dec 25, 2016
Messages
100
Reason
Lost a loved one
Diagnosis
11/2016
Country
US
State
California
We all have an ideal way in mind as to how and where we would like our PALS to pass. After reading the posts on this forum, I've realized we don't get to decide. If it happens peacefully, consider yourself lucky. Don't feel guilty. I'm hoping you can find peace in the future and look back to the things that were good in life.

Rob
 

Narrowminded

Very helpful member
Joined
Apr 30, 2016
Messages
2,317
Reason
Lost a loved one
Diagnosis
07/2007
Country
US
State
PA
Jays, I'm so very sorry for your loss. You did everything you could. My thoughts are with during this difficult time.

Hugs,

Sue
 

soonerwife

Very helpful member
Joined
Mar 16, 2016
Messages
1,515
Reason
Lost a loved one
Diagnosis
10/2015
Country
US
State
Oklahoma
So sorry for your loss! No regrets, you did the best that you could. May peace be with you.
 

scaredwifetx

Forum Supporter
Very helpful member
Joined
Jul 25, 2015
Messages
1,571
Reason
CALS
Diagnosis
07/2015
Country
US
State
tx
I am so very sorry for your loss. Hugs!
 

Angiegal

Distinguished member
Joined
Feb 15, 2017
Messages
301
Reason
PALS
Diagnosis
09/2015
Country
CA
State
Ontario
Sorry for your loss. Thinking of you.

Angie
 

JimInVA

Forum Supporter
Senior member
Joined
May 29, 2014
Messages
772
Reason
CALS
Diagnosis
04/2014
Country
US
State
VA
I'm so sorry for your loss. My thoughts go with you...

Jim
 

Jocalyn8

Active member
Joined
Jun 26, 2016
Messages
86
Reason
PALS
Diagnosis
10/2015
Country
us
State
north carolina
From reading your posts you were a great CALS and wife, I am sorry for your loss.
 

skipper66

Very helpful member
Joined
May 20, 2012
Messages
1,478
Reason
Lost a loved one
Country
US
State
ILLINOIS
I am so sorry to hear of your loss. Hugs, Kim
 

pittsburghgal

Distinguished member
Joined
Jan 7, 2016
Messages
480
Reason
CALS
Diagnosis
11/2011
Country
US
State
Pa
I am so sorry for your loss. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Sharon
 

adrivtham

Distinguished member
Joined
Feb 23, 2016
Messages
116
Reason
Lost a loved one
Diagnosis
02/2016
Country
US
State
texas
I am so sorry. I am dealing with this pain as well. Every day is a challenge I think I have been crying since the moment he was diagnosed. All I can think of is that we all are here temporarily and there will be a time were we will meet again.
Many hugs to you and your family
 
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