My husband is in the hospital
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judylyne
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i'm sorry to hear your husband is doing poorly. The day I brought my husband home from the hospital I got a call at 3am that my daughter in NC was in intensive care with a ruptured appendix and she was on a vent and unconcious. She has finally regained conciousness but it was close. I told her to go to the the doctor for 3 days but she said she didn't have any insurance so noboby would see her. So what do you do? Judy
MtPockets
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Judy, I'm sorry you are going through so much. I know what your daughter is going through. Been there done that.
I went to the emergency room years ago with a terrible pain in my side.The ER Doctor asked me what was wrong? I said I guess my appendix is ready to come out. He got angry and said look I'm the Doctor here, I'll tell you what is wrong, not you telling me. He said I had gas and sent me home. After driving over 45 minutes to my home, my appendix ruptured and back to the ER we went. They had to open me up, remove all the intestines, and clean me out. I wound up with Septicemia or (blood poisoning), something like that. It took me a long time to recover, but I did get over it. I hope your daughter gets well soon.
Just another example of the Doctors getting upset when you mess with their God complex.
I went to the emergency room years ago with a terrible pain in my side.The ER Doctor asked me what was wrong? I said I guess my appendix is ready to come out. He got angry and said look I'm the Doctor here, I'll tell you what is wrong, not you telling me. He said I had gas and sent me home. After driving over 45 minutes to my home, my appendix ruptured and back to the ER we went. They had to open me up, remove all the intestines, and clean me out. I wound up with Septicemia or (blood poisoning), something like that. It took me a long time to recover, but I did get over it. I hope your daughter gets well soon.
Just another example of the Doctors getting upset when you mess with their God complex.
Icanmanz
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Hi Judy! Just read your post, and it tore at me! I will keep your dear husband in my prayers. Sorry I am late in replying, but I had computer issues for a few days. May God bless each of you!
Irma
Irma
judylyne
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I feel like everything is falling to pieces. My husband is deteriorating. Last night he woke me up and ask me to hold him because he was scared. So i put my arms around him and he went back to sleep. My daughter who was in the hospital with a ruptured appendix finally went home but they sent her home with a prescription that cost several hundred dollars and she didn't have the money so now she has gangrene. I asked her why she didn't tell me I would have sent it to her. They should have known that if she didn't have insurance they should have just gave her the antibiotics to take home with her. Judy
Al
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Hi Judylyne. Some days life just sucks. You can say what you want about faith but stories like yours just make me sick and ask why? I don't have any answers or good advice for you. All I can say is there are people here for you and we feel your pain.
AL.
AL.
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Hello Judylynne - it is really unfair that life is throwing you curve balls at every turn.:sad: I honestly don't know how a hospital can be so far off their game to cause so much harm! I certainly hope she finds some resolution beforfe she gets any more ill!
Your story about your DH warmed my heart. We all want someone to hold us and hug us when times ar dark. He is lucky to have you in his life! Peace, Cindy
Your story about your DH warmed my heart. We all want someone to hold us and hug us when times ar dark. He is lucky to have you in his life! Peace, Cindy
judylyne,
You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
I hope for your daughter a speedy recovery and hope the medical "practitioners" get their act together.
Please hang in there a give a hug to your husband from all of us.
JACKIEMAX,
I pray you find courage and comfort and that Horace can find peace. You are a strong lady!
You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
I hope for your daughter a speedy recovery and hope the medical "practitioners" get their act together.
Please hang in there a give a hug to your husband from all of us.
JACKIEMAX,
I pray you find courage and comfort and that Horace can find peace. You are a strong lady!
paula-jane
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Judylyne,
I'm so sorry to hear of your struggles, but, you seem like a very sound and strong woman. Who knows why some of us have to fight harder for everything in this life and others don't. I know that no matter how bad I think things are in my life, I know that somewhere out there, many other have it much worse than myself. I hope that things turn around for you... and whatever happens, that you know you have done all you can do. It must be wonderful to have your husband cuddled up in your arms... knowing that you are bringing him comfort and peace. Love is wonderful.
I'm so sorry to hear of your struggles, but, you seem like a very sound and strong woman. Who knows why some of us have to fight harder for everything in this life and others don't. I know that no matter how bad I think things are in my life, I know that somewhere out there, many other have it much worse than myself. I hope that things turn around for you... and whatever happens, that you know you have done all you can do. It must be wonderful to have your husband cuddled up in your arms... knowing that you are bringing him comfort and peace. Love is wonderful.
fiddleplayer51
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Judylyne,
You must feel very torn knowing that your daughter is so sick and yet not being able to take leave from home to be with her. Your burden is so very heavy just now. You must have extraordinary strength and I know that your husband must feel so much comfort from your presence. Know that there are many people who are aware of your struggles as they go through their own. We are alone and yet we are together thanks to this forum. Thanks to this forum we can be aware of each other's struggles.
As I write this, I am hearing my husband, who is newly diagnosed with bulbar ALS (though we haven't yet gotten our second opinion from the ALS center in Charlottesville), going through his shop throwing things to dispose of into a bucket. He's getting ready for when he can't do these things. His speech is getting worse and yesterday I noticed he is beginning to drag is right foot when he walks. He says he feels weaker.
I read your posts and the posts of others and can't imagine seeing my husband lying there helpless. It's beyond comprehension. I actually hope his progression will be rapid with death sooner than later so that he doesn't have to know prolonged total helplessness. That may sound harsh, but he would suffer so greatly if he had to lie there day after day not being able to provide for his family.
I am grateful for this time together since diagnosis so that we can plan final things/arrangements together before communication is impossible.
Blessings to you and to all who are witnessing the decline of their spouses or whose spouses are completely dependent. Also, I hope your daughter is getting better.
Jane
You must feel very torn knowing that your daughter is so sick and yet not being able to take leave from home to be with her. Your burden is so very heavy just now. You must have extraordinary strength and I know that your husband must feel so much comfort from your presence. Know that there are many people who are aware of your struggles as they go through their own. We are alone and yet we are together thanks to this forum. Thanks to this forum we can be aware of each other's struggles.
As I write this, I am hearing my husband, who is newly diagnosed with bulbar ALS (though we haven't yet gotten our second opinion from the ALS center in Charlottesville), going through his shop throwing things to dispose of into a bucket. He's getting ready for when he can't do these things. His speech is getting worse and yesterday I noticed he is beginning to drag is right foot when he walks. He says he feels weaker.
I read your posts and the posts of others and can't imagine seeing my husband lying there helpless. It's beyond comprehension. I actually hope his progression will be rapid with death sooner than later so that he doesn't have to know prolonged total helplessness. That may sound harsh, but he would suffer so greatly if he had to lie there day after day not being able to provide for his family.
I am grateful for this time together since diagnosis so that we can plan final things/arrangements together before communication is impossible.
Blessings to you and to all who are witnessing the decline of their spouses or whose spouses are completely dependent. Also, I hope your daughter is getting better.
Jane
andyvaughn
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Judylyne (and to Jane)
I am sorry to hear about your husband and daughter, I hope your daughter will promptly get the help she needs. Maybe the hospital social worker can help her apply for some state insurance? Gosh, what a cross for you to bear. You are in my prayers.
Jane.. my husband also has bulbar onset, and it has spread to his limbs, affecting his left arm and left leg now. He too is dragging his left leg. Your post brought tears to my eyes.. my husband was just diagnosed in February, the 20th to be exact. The first couple of weeks I kept praying that we would get in a car crash and go together.. and I felt feelings similar to yours, praying that either this thing would move very fast, or move very slow. And, in our case, it seems to be moving very fast. I will say that those feelings, at least for me, have finally passed. As I have involved myself more and more, I realize that life can continue to have meaning and joy for those with ALS, and us as their family members, it is just going to be different now. There are people on this forum who are very physically limited, but convey a joy and a purpose to their lives. I think each new limitation, each new limb involved, brings a new set of grief and dealing, then you move on. I don't want my husband to suffer, and will honor the choices he makes about his health and how far he wants to go, but my own personal hope is that he accepts what medicine has to offer, if needed, such as a peg, bipap, etc. However, if he doesn't, I will honor those wishes. He isn't clear on what he wants to do with that yet. I know how devastating this is. Watching my once healthy, vivacious husband being robbed of his own body is heartbreaking beyond words. I still cry every day, but I also am finding peace more and more every day. I find that staying in the moment, being so very grateful for what we have today, that today he can hold me, he can still talk, that he is here... well, I just thank God for it today. I don't know anymore what the future holds, I used to think I did...had a nice little plan for it.
Anyway... I know exactly what you are feeling. I hope and pray for the best for you and your family, mostly I pray you experience peace and love. Who could possibly wish for more?
Andrea - wife of Pals Jim.
I am sorry to hear about your husband and daughter, I hope your daughter will promptly get the help she needs. Maybe the hospital social worker can help her apply for some state insurance? Gosh, what a cross for you to bear. You are in my prayers.
Jane.. my husband also has bulbar onset, and it has spread to his limbs, affecting his left arm and left leg now. He too is dragging his left leg. Your post brought tears to my eyes.. my husband was just diagnosed in February, the 20th to be exact. The first couple of weeks I kept praying that we would get in a car crash and go together.. and I felt feelings similar to yours, praying that either this thing would move very fast, or move very slow. And, in our case, it seems to be moving very fast. I will say that those feelings, at least for me, have finally passed. As I have involved myself more and more, I realize that life can continue to have meaning and joy for those with ALS, and us as their family members, it is just going to be different now. There are people on this forum who are very physically limited, but convey a joy and a purpose to their lives. I think each new limitation, each new limb involved, brings a new set of grief and dealing, then you move on. I don't want my husband to suffer, and will honor the choices he makes about his health and how far he wants to go, but my own personal hope is that he accepts what medicine has to offer, if needed, such as a peg, bipap, etc. However, if he doesn't, I will honor those wishes. He isn't clear on what he wants to do with that yet. I know how devastating this is. Watching my once healthy, vivacious husband being robbed of his own body is heartbreaking beyond words. I still cry every day, but I also am finding peace more and more every day. I find that staying in the moment, being so very grateful for what we have today, that today he can hold me, he can still talk, that he is here... well, I just thank God for it today. I don't know anymore what the future holds, I used to think I did...had a nice little plan for it.
Anyway... I know exactly what you are feeling. I hope and pray for the best for you and your family, mostly I pray you experience peace and love. Who could possibly wish for more?
Andrea - wife of Pals Jim.
fiddleplayer51
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Andrea,
Thank you for your words of wisdom. Actually, I can imagine that if a person with ALS must endure a more gradual decline, he/she may reach spiritual etc. heights as the progression spreads to more parts of the body. In an odd sort of way, ALS could be a gift of sorts-a door opening to another level of understanding and being which might otherwise be unattainable. I know that as a nurse on the oncology floor at our local hospital I witnessed so many people with terminal cancer who demonstrated unbelievable peace and acceptance of their decline and impending death. They gave so much to those caring for them simply by their quiet peace. What an inspiration that was!
Thanks again for your kind words. I know you are right-that every day is precious. Many blessings to you and your husband. I pray for you also.
Jane
Thank you for your words of wisdom. Actually, I can imagine that if a person with ALS must endure a more gradual decline, he/she may reach spiritual etc. heights as the progression spreads to more parts of the body. In an odd sort of way, ALS could be a gift of sorts-a door opening to another level of understanding and being which might otherwise be unattainable. I know that as a nurse on the oncology floor at our local hospital I witnessed so many people with terminal cancer who demonstrated unbelievable peace and acceptance of their decline and impending death. They gave so much to those caring for them simply by their quiet peace. What an inspiration that was!
Thanks again for your kind words. I know you are right-that every day is precious. Many blessings to you and your husband. I pray for you also.
Jane
andyvaughn
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Thank you Jane. How ironic how much we have in common, I am a nurse also, though I now do case management (handly little skill these days) and my background is HIV research/care. In the early days HIV was a death sentence, and many patients taught me, by their actions, about living with grace and dying with dignity. I read somewhere recently a person was talking about the passing of their loved one, he said " he taught me how to hang on tight, and how to let go"... still makes me cry to hear it...
It amazes me to think Jim was only diagnosed 2/20/08. It feels like forever ago. Only 4 months ago I was a very different person, very tied into our "stuff", the business and distraction of day to day living. Today I feel like a whole new woman is typing to you. I wouldn't wish this on anyone, especially my husband, but trying to see the good today
Andrea wife of pals Jim
It amazes me to think Jim was only diagnosed 2/20/08. It feels like forever ago. Only 4 months ago I was a very different person, very tied into our "stuff", the business and distraction of day to day living. Today I feel like a whole new woman is typing to you. I wouldn't wish this on anyone, especially my husband, but trying to see the good today
Andrea wife of pals Jim
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