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Bexlil

Member
Joined
Jan 10, 2016
Messages
11
Reason
CALS
Diagnosis
12/2015
Country
US
State
NV
City
Las Vegas
A few weeks ago my husband died, just days before our 23rd wedding anniversary. I still can't believe it. I am so sad, so angry. I'm 51 and a widow. My kids don't have a father. I don't know what our lives will be like without him.

He was diagnosed with progressive bulbar palsy in December 2015, and I knew that he wouldn't be with us long. But still, I was shocked when he died. I screamed at him and begged him not to leave me, but he left. I just want him back.

He died at home like he wanted. He refused medical intervention. He is not suffering anymore. But our family suffers. My son wants his dad at his high school graduation in June. My daughter pretends that all is normal when she is up pain.

When will this sadness lessen???

My heart is broken. 💜
 

affected

Guru status reached
Joined
Apr 26, 2013
Messages
15,943
Reason
Lost a loved one
Diagnosis
05/2013
Country
OZ
State
AU
City
lala land
I'm so sorry for your loss.

Are you seeing any kind of grief counsellor? I would strongly recommend this as you need to work through so much pain and we all need help.
 

lgelb

Moderator
Forum Supporter
Joined
Nov 5, 2009
Messages
12,747
Reason
Lost a loved one
Diagnosis
00/0000
Country
US
State
WA
City
Seattle
So sorry to hear of your loss, Bexlil. I know you are still in the keen part of grief, and it seems impossible that you will ever not feel sad and angry. But as each day goes by, you will edge closer to the peace of knowing that your husband passed as he wished and what your family had together can still be the foundation for your path forward, each of you. As Tillie says, get whatever help you need for yourself and the kids, and keep talking with each other.

Best,
Laurie
 

faithandlove

Distinguished member
Joined
May 22, 2016
Messages
174
Reason
PALS
Diagnosis
06/2016
Country
US
State
NV
City
Reno
I'm so sorry. Prayers and hugs for you and your family.

Deb
 

Nikki J

Moderator
Joined
Mar 22, 2012
Messages
14,864
Reason
PALS
Diagnosis
04/2014
Country
US
State
MA
City
Boston
I am so sorry. Wishing you peace and comfort
 

Manhattanite

Distinguished member
Joined
May 10, 2015
Messages
209
Reason
Lost a loved one
Diagnosis
05/2015
Country
US
State
NY
City
New York
So sorry for your loss. I will be in your shoes in several months. I don't know how I will react when it actually happens. It seems nothing prepares you for that moment. I think what is most shocking about death is how final it is.
 

starente15

Senior member
Joined
Oct 27, 2014
Messages
809
Reason
Lost a loved one
Diagnosis
10/2017
Country
US
State
NJ
City
Northern
So sorry for your loss.
 

KimT

Extremely helpful member
Forum Supporter
Joined
Nov 18, 2014
Messages
4,512
Reason
PALS
Diagnosis
08/2015
Country
US
State
South
City
The Beach
I'm so sorry for you and your children. Keeping him at home shows that you have what it takes to carry on. Prayers for you.
 

edschia

Active member
Joined
Mar 1, 2016
Messages
59
Reason
PALS
Diagnosis
01/2016
Country
US
State
PA
City
Wilkes Barre
I am so sorry for your loss. May your memories keep your husband/father alive in your hearts.
 

KateEmerson

Senior member
Joined
Apr 23, 2016
Messages
515
Reason
Lost a loved one
Diagnosis
09/2013
Country
US
State
MA
City
Boston
My deepest sympathy to you and your children. Hoping for comfort and strength to carry you through this terrible time.
 

soonerwife

Very helpful member
Joined
Mar 16, 2016
Messages
1,571
Reason
Lost a loved one
Diagnosis
10/2015
Country
US
State
OK
City
Cleveland
So sorry for your loss. May peace be with you and your family.
 

Lkaibel

Very helpful member
Forum Supporter
Joined
May 9, 2016
Messages
1,525
Reason
Lost a loved one
Diagnosis
06/2016
Country
US
State
MN
City
Minneapolis
I am so sorry for your loss.
 

scaredwifetx

Very helpful member
Forum Supporter
Joined
Jul 25, 2015
Messages
1,606
Reason
CALS
Diagnosis
07/2015
Country
US
State
tx
City
Dallas
I am so very sorry. I wish I could find words that would ease the pain in your heart and soul. The pain of your loss and the pain you feel for your children may just be to much for you right now. Like Tillie said, a grief counselor may be able to help you some. You and your children are in my thoughts. Please take care of yourself.
 

pittsburghgal

Senior member
Joined
Jan 7, 2016
Messages
568
Reason
Lost a loved one
Diagnosis
11/2011
Country
US
State
PA
City
Pittsburgh
I am so sorry for the loss of your husband. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers and I wish you strength and comfort in this difficult time.

Sharon
 

frankb

Senior member
Joined
Jun 8, 2011
Messages
587
Reason
PALS
Diagnosis
10/2010
Country
US
State
Georgia
City
Sandy Springs
So sorry for your loss Our thoughts and prayers are with you.
 
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