My husband is dying....

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sweetmozart

Active member
Joined
Feb 22, 2008
Messages
74
Reason
CALS
Diagnosis
05/2001
Country
US
State
MA
City
Greater Boston Area
My husband was diagnosed at a very young age. You don't realize the dreams you had for things like retirement until they are taken away. Just know you are not alone.
 

wishmobbing

Senior member
Joined
Dec 5, 2017
Messages
868
Reason
Lost a loved one
Diagnosis
07/2017
Country
DE
State
BW
City
Stuttgart
I'm happy you came here and I hope you keep coming back here for support, to vent, to be able to be sad without being too sad in front of your husband.

You see things clearly, the picture of the long funeral is very apt. I'm not trying to forcefilly look for a bright side but I'll tell you what that long funeral did to me.

After my boyfriend got diagnosed with ALS at age 38 we had 13 month left to make the best of it while constantly adjusting to losses and new normals. All that time I was (at first unknoqingly) grieving, a mix of my usual bushy-tailed sillyness and a hot mess. I was scared. Not just of losing my best friend and partner of 16 years, not just about what this disease would feel like for him, but also of him living longer than I could keep up the energy to be there for him. Or to still be.
This rollercoaster can feel like it will break you. Probably it does. Or already has. But being broken does not mean that there is no hope. Because we heal. Humans are made to go on. You will go on. Everyone here has some scars from this. Everyone has experiences that have made them stronger and weaker in one or the other spot. You will never truly lose your husband. He'll stay with you. And I'm sure he wants you to have a good life.

(I now have two wonderful boyfriends, the one that will never grow old and the one I never knew young. What I'd give to live the other halves of their lives with them, too!
Also I found a great job I would never have searched if I didn't have to give up my old one to care for my PALS. My ride on a rollercoaster was a comparatively short one and I got out okay. Having already grieved throughout his last year was hard but it gave me a headstart.

So try to take care of yourself, don't try to be perfect. You can't fix this, but simply you being there means the world. The world should be enough, right?
 
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