my dad is near death - advice needed, please.

[JACKIEMAX]

note to emily

i just read your posts and the answers from our precious forum friends. this is a wonderful forum and i come here more often now that i am about to lose my husband of less than 8 years to als. he had a peg tube put in months before he ever needed it just for this kind of thing. now he takes ensure through it, plus some meds. he is on a stooland ativan also plus occasionally some morphine. we had to fire our first hospice group for letting him become impacted and he ended up in the ER. my husband would have soooo many more problems without the peg tube. hope all works out for you.

jackiemax

 

[planningguy]

Emily, I am sorry for your loss, and hope the you family feels the love and support it needs during this difficult time.

I recently lost my mother to a struggle with cancer, and pain management was a constant issue. I did learn a bit about hospice through the process. Our experience with hospice was positive, and it has only been after the fact and comparing notes with others that I have been able to understand a little why.

For us the biggest difference was that my mother's hospice case manager and day nurse was ABNS certified in hospice and palliative care. I had assumed that this was the norm, but have since learned that the certification is still relatively new, and she was one of a handful in mom's state that had earned it.

For us the certification not only meant a better understanding of pain management, but also a commitment to the idea of hospice and palliative care. She quickly conferred with my mother's physician, helped balance her pain meds, and transferred her from push button to continuous drip for her IV meds. Her comment was it was contrary to the whole idea of comfort care to force someone who is dying the indignity and effort of having to push a button every half hour. All of the hopsice nurses gave us their cell phone numbers, and the case manager told us we could call her any time day or night.

Maybe we were just lucky in getting such a dedicated medical professional, but hearing the horror stories talk of trying to help loved ones swallow crushed pills after being told by hospice that there was no better option, I can't help but wonder if a lack of training and patient advocacy plays in.

Robert

 

[brooksea]

Robert,

Thank you for educating us. That is valuable info! So much to learn and remember...