oh god... thank you all so much for even caring. i am absolutely heartbroken. i'm sorry if my message frightened anyone, but i knew you people would understand what it's like to be terrified since you are all living with ALS or have experienced it. i wanted to talk to people who might understand.
my brother was only 26. he had such a special bond with my mum and this disease destroyed him before her.
C and mum... I was so jealous of it, she seemed to favour him but of course I know now that's nonsense. She loved him just as much but differently. they had the most beautiful bond.
C. as a baby...
he was my playmate, my brother and my best friend (until puberty) After the difficult teen years, we became good friends again. Since mum's diagnosis he became withdrawn, irritable and angry. We often had fallings out over his attitude... we argued the evening before he took his own life. I never got the chance to say sorry.
But I'm sorry, darling. I'm so, so sorry. I didn't understand what you were going through. You never showed me, you never told me. I would have reached out to you, but you had your back turned the entire time. You simply could not live without her. You went ahead so she was not afraid to die.