Moving forward

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Big hugs. I’ve been through the birthday. It went great or terrible depending on how you look at it. I resigned from my old job on 5/15. The very day after old boss wrote me up for a loud argument! I think it went great!

Do something good for yourself. Make it a special day. Thinking of you :)
 
Thank you Lenore. Yes you did do something good for you. I’ve been through Christmas, Anniversary and Valentines. Easter didn’t bother me so much. Valentine’s/Anniversary 16th of Feb I was a mess, but I had also just lost my Dad too, so huge whammy. This will be first BD and then first Thanksgiving and then just a couple of days after 1st year.

I’m trying to figure out exactly what to do those days.
 
I often have found the lead up to a 'day' of any kind was worse than the actual day. Hope you can decide on something that works for you - it all sucks for sure.
 
Tillie I think you are right. I remember when DS left for University. The week before I was a complete mess, first child I was sending off etc. The actual day I moved him, I was fine. While that is nothing in comparison, it was a similar build up to something.

My first thought was to have the kids all together for dinner, so I will speak to them about that.

Have a great day all
 
Been a busy week with doing employee reviews. Then a busy day today catching up with house work things.

Tomorrow we go get DD’s furniture and she will be moved completely back home while she completes her clinicals. Then in May she will grad. My guess is she will be moving south after that where her BF is.

Hugs all
 
I truly forgot what it was like to work full-time outside the home. I have not done that since before DS was born. I’m stupid busy. Barely time to catch up here.

Life is slowly getting better.

Hugs all
 
I’m glad life is slowly getting better. I can totally understand about work being an adjustment! Remember to take a little time for yourself.
 
So glad things are getting slowly better. I have been way busier than I want to be remodeling two bathrooms at my moms!
 
Well I made it through Brian’s BD. Now into the final month of the first year. So far so good. On edge, but not sobbing. Crying here and there.

Trying to readjust to DD being home. We have our differences. She is an awesome girl, but she is so much like her Dad it’s hard.

I’ve been feeling quite lonely this week as well.

Today we are off to my BIL/SIL’s. Their son and his wife are in town and we are having an impromptu get together for dinner with the whole fam. We will see how it goes,
 
You've got this Sue. It's freaking hard, it's intense, but you've got this. The first year anniversary is so bizarre - how can it be possible?

Adjusting to having DD home as well must be quite a strange twist on things too. Different to be alone than to have her back. I just can't imagine having one of my kids move back home (though mine have all been gone way longer too). It's great that you are so in tune with yourself and your feelings as you process all of this.
 
Thank you Tillie. I mean where did this year go? I mean I know with also losing both parents etc, but how did it go so fast.

They say don’t make any major decisions, and I haven’t, I haven’t even had time too.

So surreal. It almost feels like it happened to someone else and I’m just an observer of sorts, but not.

The feelings of being alone are all too real. And I do think part of that is linked to also losing both parents as well. It’s just me and my brother now.

Ok, tears flooding now. I’m going to go.
 
Yep that is exactly what I meant by the first anniversary is bizarre, how can it be possible.
You suffered a lot of loss in one year, I also had multiple losses in that first year.

Let those tears flow and keep being kind to yourself xxx
 
Been and up and down week.

Today at work, I was cleaning out some old drawing files. Found Brian’s writing on them. Yeah, glad it was end of day and most were not around. Hit me like a ton of bricks. Esp since he had not been able to write for years.

Therapy last night was good. Still so much to work on.

It’s not going to be an easy month,

hugs all
 
I’m sorry you got hit with that. I know what you mean. My garage looks like a requiem to a life gone, yet I failed to dismantle it this summer when time and weather allowed. Hugs!
 
I found an old anniversary card he signed.

The front read: Grow old along with me, the best is yet to be.

Inside: Happy Anniversary to my forever love!

Tons of tears, but I keep it in my nightstand, knowing he still loves me from beyond.

Sending big hugs.
 
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