Moving forward

lgelb

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Jersey, so sorry about your mom. I'm glad you can move forward with the next phase of your life as the next steward of her home.

Great to hear from you ladies. It's a ride for sure, that doesn't end when PALS find their rest.

Stay safe, all.
 
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Narrowminded

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Hi Jersey,

I'm so very sorry to hear about your DM. I know how hard it is to lose loved ones, back to back. I'm happy you can move to a smaller place that is more comfortable for you.

Tillie,

Yes, I'm sure it get lonely from the group we had there for a while. I do miss those that really kept up. Being here is both a blessing and a curse, so it's why I'm quite sporadic in my posting.

DD was home this weekend for a quick visit. It was great to see her. I'm also working with my therapist again and that is helping too. I believe I have to get past "this time of the year" and then things will flatten out again for a while.

Hugs to all and I'll be back to check in.
 

affected

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Sue it's not a linear process, but overall after the first few years you should find that you don't go down as far, nor for as long, and you come back up to a better place, rather than just flattening. I look forward to you saying that is your experience.
In the meantime we grieve however we need to - I'm just glad you you got see DD, have that grandie now, and have a therapist that knows the whole story where you can unpack this stuff as it rises and falls. 💜
 

Narrowminded

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Tillie,

Thank you for the sage advice. I will say I am feeling much better this week. Not sure if it's eating better, seeing DD or getting in more exercise or a combo of the above. However, I'll roll with it.

Therapy on Thursday for the foreseeable future.
 

Narrowminded

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Looking forward to my therapy this week. A few things to discuss. I think that I may be finally doing some grieving that got side tracked to the deaths that followed Brian's. I don't think I ever really got there.

With his on Nov 30 it was right into Christmas season while I was till numb, quickly followed by the shop tax season for W2's, which ended with my father's passing Feb 1, then not much time to get my sea legs dealing with Mom and having her pass June 14. Then my admin quit in Aug. So where does one grieve in the midst of all of that. And dealing with all the paper work that didn't finish until April of this year in the midst of a pandemic. No wonder I'm out of sorts.

Hopefully working with therapy over the coming months will straighten me out a bit and let me go through whatever it is I need to go through.

Hugs all
 

affected

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You have had to put so many things aside for so long 💜
 

Narrowminded

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Tillie you are correct there. In fact the therapist and I were talking about that today. With all those deaths in a row, I kind of just boxed it all up and put it aside. Box is starting to open in little bursts and I'm feeling it. It has to be dealt with. Probably won't be pleasant, but nothing will until I deal.

I don't think there is any way to explain what you feel, what you go through or how you are fundamentally changed from the death of a spouse to someone else. I think that is what makes the grieving so very difficult.
 
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