Hi Sue, dropping in to make it about me a little bit because I’m just LIKE that!
I’m starting to think that what I’m suppose to do is pull my life up by the roots and start over. New house, new job (thats a given now lol!) maybe new state... Yes I would be there and grief would still be there, but at this very moment I am sitting on a couch feet away from where they put Brian in a body bag.
Fresh start can be good. Also, PM me on hiw You’d feel about a happy hour
Lost one of my Admin Assist’s so I’ve been working my job and hers. The joys of being a business owner. Then I just found out about another issue. DS will be headed to the shop to do some recon work. Then, unfortunately that will lead to some pretty rough meetings with a few individuals I’m afraid.
Yes, I agree about being just a few steps from where Brian passed and was removed from the home. I’m still looking, just haven’t found the place yet. Looked at one that was good with just about everything except the stairs to go to the finished basement level. They placed them in the wrong spot, made them quite steep and I had to duck to get down them and I’m only 5’1” tall. Yard would have been perfect for the dogs, a bit over 1 acre and I would only be just under 2. Mi to all the shopping I could ever want.
Wow, today was long. When I got in my car to come home, the low pressure symbol was on for a tire. As soon as I got in my driveway, I pulled out my gauge to figure out just which tire was causing the issue. First tire was good, second tire didn’t need checked, there was a big ol screw sticking out. So called the local place, took the dogs out quick and off I went to get a new tire. Went in near the side wall, so no saving it. Then home to take the dogs on a good long walk with my friend.
My theory anyway is pass if they offer you a plug/fix. Those seem to fail in 3-6 months and your back needing a new tire anyway!
I’ve had a whole adventure in the “cooking for one” and I felt like my considerable culinary skills (forgive the brag) were impaired by the past few years of blender meals and ordering in, do I know what you mean.
Yes, I find cooking hard and it was something I always enjoyed. I will be cooking today for my DD and her GF’s and that I will probably enjoy. Making others feel good.
It’s been a very rough week with lots of tears. I think I’m finally getting time to do some processing. It’s been a hell of a year after too many years of war.
I’d so love a fresh start with a new home and a new job, not sure how to make that all work though.
The current issue that I’m investigating at work, just makes me all the more frustrated.
And I may have to go back on my Zoloft. I’m happier to be without it, but my anxiety is flaring. I’m supposed to go to Honduras over Christmas, but the more I think about it, the more anxious I become. I just don’t feel ready for groups. I have a tough time being in them. Not sure why and more to explore with my therapist this coming Tuesday.
Well better run and get something accomplished this morning. The girls will be back after lunch and I need to have my laundry done, as DD has some to do herself.
Sue, I suggest you think on going in December. Travel is great, that total change of surroundings and people just makes so much difference. I’m glad Inhave put misgivings aside and traveled.
If Zoloft helps by all means go for it, good thinking.
The back and forth of no longer having the struggles of caregiving and in my case work and that being a relief but giving you time to think, yes I do get that. I shed some tears most days, Ive incorporated that into my life most days. There is that place where the world is a stranger to me because he is no longer in it. I wonder if that ever fades away. I guess we have to get to know the world again.
Sue you describe what is really common for many past CALS and for many of us it is PTSD. Please be really kind to yourself, don't see zoloft as a weakness but an important tool.
Your loss of Brian, and then add all the other losses are still so raw because they only just happened.
Honest, this grief isn't something that we just feel for a couple of months then we are done - it is a long process, and it's a day at a time with all the help we can get.
I believe you don't need to push yourself to do anything. If the thought of being in a group makes you feel anxious just let it go and do what feels the best. It doesn't mean you won't ever feel good about doing something like that, just now isn't the time for you.
We are all different, and working with what fits for you, not what others think fits, is going to help you grieve in your very own way and time.