Moving forward

Narrowminded

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Well I’ll need to find out Monday what we need to do. For now I’m leaving it.

Got some much needed things done around the house. I think I need to restart a to-do list by day so I don’t forget things like dust. My MIL used to come and do that for me, so I am sorely out of the habit until I see it somewhere. :)

Anyway, got the laundry room that always seems to collect junk straighted up. We need to paint in there and good grief, you could hardly move. And I got the kitchen a bit more straight. That really needs some serious decluttering. Maybe while DD is back at school for 3 months.

Better day this morning, although storms again.

Hugs all
 

Narrowminded

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Lots of flooding all over the local area yesterday due to storms. This summer has really been rough.

Went to work yesterday between downpours but could not go my usual way.

Today I’m taking Brian’s van to the local place where we bought it to see what they’ll offer me. Hopefully enough I can just let it go and put that part to rest. I also hope to get a WO with DS and a few other things accomplished.

Had a nice dinner with a GF last night. The one who came to help with Brian. We had a great time catching up.

So all in all a good day.

Hugs everyone
 

Lkaibel

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So glad you had a good dinner! It really helps. Best wishes with the van.
 

Narrowminded

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Van is sold. Slightly less than I was hoping for, but it’s done and out of the way. So much to get done around here and the garage is a huge part, so having the van out of there is a great help with that. Also, now DD can put her car in there. All pluses.

Hope everyone had a good day.
 

affected

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oh wow that's great news! well I wish you had got a bit more for it too, but you know that done is better than still messing about with the process!
 

Narrowminded

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Yesterday we drove up to DD’s college and got her moved from one apt to the next, since she will only need to be there for 3 months. We brought things home too. I’m sore today, and the puppies are rambunctious from being alone most of yesterday. A neighbor was kind enough to come take them out multiple times for me. However, when I tried to get them on a nice long walk this morning to burn off some of that energy, they would have none of it. It’s been a rough morning.

Well, have to get to work.
‘Hugs
 

soonerwife

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Sorry about the rough morning. I'm glad you were able to get the van out of the way and can keep things moving forward.
 

Narrowminded

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It’s been a busy couple of days. I’ve been working in my garage. DS was here yesterday to help with all the high stuff that I might be able to reach from a 6’ ladder but would be way too dangerous to do so. My garbage people certainly won’t like me tomorrow. :). I’m going to have quite the pile. Things that have needed to go that Brian thought we should keep, an old cathoray TV, and a small one at that. Way old. “But it still works”. Yeah, but no one wants it, even Good will won’t take them :

Work today and then if I can stand another day in the garage, I will work on the shelving unit that I can reach everything and get that straightened around. Then the garage will be basically done. A few other things I’d like to get out of there, but too good to just toss or give to goodwill. Rather give to a friend who could use. Namely 1 bike.

It feels so good to get that space cleaned up. Breathing room and if I do decide to sell it will look much bigger and believe me, it needs to, because it’s too small.

Have a great day all.
 

MVFinVA

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Oh I have a garage full of "stuff" too:) There was a lot of it, if not most of it, that Dave just couldn't let go. After almost 30 years of marriage I convinced him to let his college and grad school books go, except for the Calculus book. Why he needed to keep that one I don't know. We had a ton of guide books for Europe from the 80's and 90's. I told him we now had Google, but he couldn't let them go. I have gone through all the easy stuff, but I find I can only do it in stages. I have a burst of resolve and energy and can hit it for a day or two, then need to regroup. My PT student daughter is doing a clinical rotation here in the fall for 7 weeks. She's going to help me get things down from the rafters. I'll do the sorting and purging:( I am really motivated to clear out what I don't need. I'm not planning to move anytime soon, but if I make that decision, I want to be able to act quickly and not be faced with months of decluttering! Also I don't want to leave a ton for my daughter's to do when I'm gone. I've done it for my mom and in-laws and it was miserable!

Now if anyone has any advice about how to dispose of a stamp collection I'd be grateful!! I have both my husband's and father-in-law's collections. Mostly first day covers. None of the family wants them. I have been dragging my feet about dealing with them. I think the first step is a rough inventory of what I've got.🤮

Sue - thanks for keeping this thread going. I am just a couple of months behind you in this journey and it is encouraging to follow you. So many times the things you post resonate with me.

Mary
 

Narrowminded

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Mary I’m so glad my thread could be of help to you. It will probably go for a long time to come, as I need a place where people understand. Had Brian made it 2 more months, we would have been married 34 years. I get the accumulation of stuff.

I’m glad your PT DD will be home to help you for 7 weeks. Mine is finishing up a clinical rotation today, then back up to school next week for 3 months of classes. Then back here for her last 2 clinicals. Some days I don’t know which is harder. Having her here or having her away. The two of us typify the “2 women in a kitchen” scenario so it’s not always easy. She will go from letting things sit for me to clean up after her, to going on a cleaning cleanse like I have no clue what I’m doing. It can get frustrating at times.

I’m having a rough morning. My Shep puppy has been full of spit and vinegar again and I’m not sure why. Tomorrow is her first official class and I’m so praying this works.

I’ve gone from determined to move, to now thinking about staying put. There are things that I need to do around here that need done stay or go, and then I think about changing those things and not even getting to use them. I just feel so conflicted on some things. I’m still perusing homes, but nothing on the market right now that strikes my fancy.

The carpet in the LR/DR has to go. I highly doubt I’ll get her completely potty trained while it’s still down. It’s been scrubbed and scrubbed and cleaned etc and she still has issues.

Then I’m fighting my my folks investment people. I asked a simple question about some questions that were on the form both my Brother and I have to fill out to transfer the IRA to us, and I get the big guy calling me. Then he starts talking to me like I’m a child after I just finished telling him that I own a business. I had all to do to hold my cool, I wanted to reach through the phone and smack him upside the head. “I took care of your grandfather and your parents, I’ve been doing this for 37 years, I know what I’m doing”. Well I’m sure you do, I’m just asking a question and letting you know why I don’t have some of the info you need. It was stuff we didn’t think we’d need because of work your office was supposed to do and didn’t. So he proceeds to tell me that he need the EIN number you will get when you record the will the EIN number is a 9 digit... I cut him off, I told him, I just told you I own a business, I know all about EIN numbers.

And we are trying to get the money transferred as quickly as possible. I told him I don’t care about the money, neither my brother or I expected to get anything. And he will get the forms when my brother gets back in town. I had to tell him several times that my brother is out of town on vacation. The most frustrating convo.

Then back to the house stuff. Brian insisted we use the dark stain on the stair leading to the second floor. It’s also on the top of the railing and paleings are painted white. It does look nice with the contrast and my kitchen cabinets are the traditional dark cherry stain on cheapo builder grade cabinets. They look nice, but.... So now I need to replace the carpet that is in the LR/DR. Due to the dogs, I don’t want carpet. Now I’m having trouble with flooring. I don’t want dark hardwood. I had that before with dogs. It shows every speck of dust, every dog hair and you can vacuum and wash and the minute your done it looks bad again. So now what to do with the floor. The kitchen, hallway, powder room, laundry room all have sheet linoleum on them. I did that due to the wheelchair, figured it was the safest bet and while we had to put down some transition strips due to it lifting in places, it still looks decent and is a dream with the dogs etc. However, I’d like to do that whole area in the same thing as the LR/DR since the place is open concept. So lots of decisions. And I want it to be something I will like but also will look good if and when I decide to sell.

Ok, my rant for the day is over.

Hugs all
 

KarenNWendyn

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So now what to do with the floor.
Good luck with that Sue. We went to a flooring store to look at different options and pick the experts’ brains. We ended up going with luxury vinyl tile. It looks good, comes in a variety of colors and styles, is pet proof, wears well, and is less costly than wood, stone, or real tile
 

MVFinVA

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An idea for flooring - When our lower level was made handicap accessible we put down a newer product that is called WPC (wood plastic composite). It's easy to clean, looks nice, has padding built into it, and is waterproof. We had carpet in our family room and laminate in the bed rooms. We made the whole level the WPC. It's been in a year and a half and I've been very happy with it; but don't have dogs though, just a cat.

I have decided for the foreseeable future I am staying where I am. My friends and church are here, my whole support system. I figured out I've lived here longer than anywhere else in my life (military family) and in this house the longest of anywhere. Also,neither one of my DDs live in the area, so if they come to visit, one with DH and two kids, I need space to put them. So I really don't want to downsize yet. I changed the bedroom that had been made handicap accessible with bath back into my sewing room/guest room. It was two rooms originally, so now I have a huge sewing room. :) It's my happy place. When my younger DD came to visit in May she said, "Mom this room looks like you." I put in a sleeper sofa and there is the bath, so it makes a great guest room. I remember reading a thread over a year ago where Tillie said instead of moving houses, she changed things up by moving furniture and redecorating. I took that to heart and that is my goal. I am trying to keep what I love, freshen things up with new paint if necessary and rearrange stuff.

I also have things that would need to be fixed/remodeled before I sell the house. I decided to do it now so I can enjoy it. One bathroom is almost finished today, and then the master bath will be redone. I got rid of the pink bathtub and tile!!!! YAY!!!! The tube is split in half and sitting in my driveway:)

I am still dealing with the federal government over some issues with survivors benefits. Dave was retired military and civil service. It drives me crazy that it is 6 1/2 month out and they can't get anything right the first time!!! When I called in March to check on the civil service benefit I was told, "Well, we had a lot of people die recently."😬 When I called in June I was told they are now working on the people who died in January! Still haven't seen anything from them.

I've lost some weight and I'm trying to drink more water. Haven't added exercise in yet. That's the next step. Think I'll start slow with stretching exercises, because I'm stiff as a board and creaky. I never felt my age pre-ALS and then during the journey I felt ancient, worn out and tired. I'm in my early 60's so not exactly ancient. But now I'm feeling younger. Not my actual age yet, but closer.

Trying to take it one day at a time. Last three weeks have been pretty good. I've felt more like me that I've felt since ALS was first mentioned. Of course a forever changed me, but still closer to who I was before. I now sleep through the nights on most nights. There were two weeks in June that were miserable. I'm hoping the good times will get longer and the miserable shorter.

Mary
 

pittsburghgal

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Mary,

I am so glad that you are feeling younger. This gives me hope because I feel like I have aged at rapid speed since taking care of my PALS these past 8 years (especially the past 4 years). Prior to this I looked and felt a lot younger than my actual age.

Sharon
 

Jrzygrl

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I echo your sentiments, Sharon. I feel like I've aged so rapidly thru this journey. I had my son take a snapshot of me without my glasses for a caregiver ID for the NJ MMP for DH. I cried when I saw it. I asked him if I always look that old. He said no and gave me a huge hug, but it made me so sad.

Mary, it sounds like you are in a good place, save the government snafus. You go girl!

Sue, we went with a wood-look tile when we remodeled. It looks good and was somewhere between vinyl and hardwood cost-wise. It cleans up great. I'm sure you'll find an option that works.
 
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