Mostly sunny with a chance of sudden downpours

[wishmobbing]

This summer it's four years of losing my boyfriend. I'm in essence a happy chipmunk, I like my life and job, I love my current boyfriend, yet from one moment to the next the tear ducts go "woooooaaaaahhhhh!". Not often, in some phases more than in others. It might be a five second cry while brushing my teeth because he no longer shares this crazy world with me or it might be a sleep-shattering afair of an hour or two when I relive the more traumatic sides of being a caregiver and the immense losses that hit my PALS. The next second or the next day I'm good again, telling old tales about him like I would about friends that are still alive. Because as long as I live, he will be very much with me and he will never stand the way of learning of loving something new.

This is just an empathic shoutout, to all my fellow folks who lost a loved one or are about to. We're changed forever and I don't think it's for the worse. And when it hits you hard, just let it pour! It won't wash us away.

And to all the PALS who might stumble in here: thank you for being there for us CALS! We need your support to be there for you, to survive with a minimum of scars and carry on your immaterial heritage.

 

[affected]

Beautiful to hear from you, but wow 4 years is hard to believe.
8 years on I still get those odd bursts, but I talk about Chris more often now, and with fondness and happy memories than I did in the first 4 years.

Love to see how you are doing. We are forever changed, but we can find a beautiful new shape to our lives.

 

[Narrowminded]

Good to hear from you Wish. I totally understand. It will be 4 for me end of Nov. Those times just hit. Was talking with DD's DBF and relating about when she had her breakdown before PT school and some other times around then and I couldn't get out what I wanted to say very well and the tears started. DD wasn't there, so I was glad I didn't upset her. I just hate when there is something that I cannot relate without tears.

They will live on in our hearts forever. Now over to my journal to relate a dream I had this week.

Hugs to you.

 

[affected]

I think tears are good and healthy - we loved and lost, and that deserves all the emotion we feel over that.