It is not about evil!
[
B]“A thought which does not result in an action is nothing much, and an action which does not proceed from a thought is nothing at all.”[/B]
It is ok to have your own thoughts! It is different to act on them, everybody here has a different situation: some of you are older, your children have grown up and left the home, you may have a great group around you to love and support you. Some of you have always had a great partnership with your significant other, communication is key! But what happens if your PALS turned to alcohol and or drugs, or shut you out, what happens when you have young kids, what happens when the PALS has so much anger over his situation that it becomes abuse? What about when he refuses to have outside help? What happens when he thinks that you should not get out!
I am young, have young children and a husband with ALS, it has been almost three years since the diagnosis, I have got help, I had no choice, the guilt you go through as a care giver is tremendous, especially when all the above happens, I kept on saying it was the disease... It is not the disease, it is the person, and how they cope... I was told by him a few days ago that I was nothing but a pain in the ass! This was after I gave him a pedicure, shower, shaved him and fed him lunch! Is he projecting? I do not know, but I know that it has gotten abusive.
I have thoughts of Peace! Peace for me and the kids, sex? what is that! I think that we all have many thoughts that cause us guilt.. But just because you have thoughts does not mean you will act on them.
How dare anybody criticize a thought! I have had friends suggest that they have someone for me, to which I laugh and say I am starting a convent! I guess I just do not even have the energy to think of it.
We all have thoughts that make us wonder, that are out of character! come on admit it! even you Paula B, does that make you or us evil?
I would think a forum like this would be to share positive feedback, to share experiences, but not to judge! To understand that everybody is facing the same diagnoses or caring for someone with the same diagnosis. That it is probably one of the hardest things we will ever face.
Peace to you all, enjoy the moment, and stay positive!