Moral dilemma - sexual relations

[Al]

You're kidding right Liz.?

 

[mlb]

Catarina, they are not just thoughts

How insensitive of your friends to say they have someone for you to meet... I would not consider it funny at all. Could your friends have seen something in you that your husband has also seen which would explain their/his behaviour? Being young is not an excuse.

Anna

 

[Sunshine]

I don't agree at all that everyone has those "selfish" feelings. How can anyone dream about having an affair when their love one is fighting for their lives? How about thinking about the times when your love one wasn't sick? Everyone has a right to their own opinion but not all of us agree with the affair issue. Fantasy is totally different than seeking an relationship with someone else. My prayers are with everyone.

 

[CindyM]

Let's think about this from a practical standpoint. Having an affair sounds like WAY too much work when everyone is well and able to take care of themselves. Maybe I'm just lazy at heart, but why on earth complicate an already complicated situation?

 

[lcarlile67]

be faithful

stay faithful - you will not be able to live with the guilt - plus the Lord will be displeased if you do not honor your wedding vows ... plus you probably love your spouse very much .... JUST give your hubby a thrill - touch him and caress him even if he can not do it back to you --- it might put a smile on his face ...( he is a man, and men will take any sexual gratification they can get - they can have one foot in the grave and still want to get a little thrill ) he would be happy for the attention ......... and don't worry about your own needs now - because there is a time and a season for everything and right now it is not about you getting your needs met - it is about DOING for OTHERS and doing it as you were taking care of Jesus himself .... " as you do unto others you do unto the Lord " --God will honor the faithful .... - then, if you are faithful in that Work -- God will bless you and honor you with meeting your needs in the future ..... That is just my advice -- and I don't judge you as some have harshly done -- yes, humans have feelings --- and you probably are lonely and want to be comforted --- let Jesus & God Comfort you . .. let your friends comfort you ... You won't find much comfort in a morally sinful and unethical situation -- it will only add to the pain and confusion .... you probably don't want to break his heart - and it would break his heart if you did that ... You can wait - till the time is appropriate ......there is time for you later -- right now, make his time the best it can be for him .,.....

 

[georgia]

I agree with the answers on this thread. I am new and am not facing the inability yet. But in reading the info on this it had said the sexual function was not affected I wondered how that worked out with how I read this disease worked. It sounds like when we are pregnat or raising small children Who is has time or energy. Want to MAYBE for one but not always both. Or sleep sometime sounded better.
We were adjusting to empty nest with this started so the how do you do it did cross my mind just not with someone else.

 

[CindyM]

Sleep, the kind you get when snoring on your pillow, still sounds great to me, Georgia! I can't remember who started this thread but sometimes being a caregiver feels overwhelmingly lonely. I suppose it is natural for a younger person just to want a little affection and romance. We maybe should have reminded her that an affair has long-term consequences for what is probably a short-term problem. Cindy

 

[patricia1]

I wonder if you were the one with als how would you feel of you knew your husband would have an affair. Remember life is not fair for you and especially your husband we all make sacrifices in life and this is yours too bad i cant say I feel bad for you There are other ways to skin a cat if you know what I mean. I think if you are thinking of an affair you never had a good marriage REMEMBER for better or worse :x

 

[shannonme]

A book that I just finished reading deals a bit with this issue. It's called You're Not You by Michelle Wildgen.

"Wildgen's first novel centers on Bec, a self-absorbed college student drifting through school and an affair with a married poetry professor, and it shows real promise. When Bec takes a summer job caring for Kate, a young married woman with Lou Gehrig's disease, it seems easy to spot the formula: lost soul comes of age through the wisdom and resolve of the terminally ill. Where Bec is anxious and aimless, Kate is sarcastic and at peace; despite paralysis, she teaches Bec to cook extravagant meals, fund-raises for ALS research and spouts wicked one-liners. But when Kate kicks out her cheating husband, Evan, Wildgen's writing becomes clear and determined, daring to spotlight an almost taboo subject—the need for sex among the sick. As Bec takes on more of Evan's roles, eventually moving into Kate's house, Bec's deep and conflicted feelings for her charge allow Wildgen to navigate the complicated moral territory of Evan's, or any young spouse's, responsibility to his terminally ill partner."

 

[CALS44]

words of encouragement & strength

I agree with a prior comment that you should feel free to express your true feelings, and God bless you for being so honest. I encourage you to be strong and faithful to your spouse. You will feel so much better about yourself, and your spouse will be spared further anguish.

"No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to us all. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it." 1 Corinthians 10:13

I like to think that by declaring your temptation to this group, that you will receive positive encouragement and strength from members of this chat group to support you in getting past the temptation and to a better place. I truly hope this helps and that you are working past this situation.