mom of 2 back with more worry/symptoms

[brendapals]

Hey to all you moms!
After I got off work yesterday, I drove straight home ( about 25 miles ), took time to use the bathroom in 2 minutes, and then got back in my car for my hubby to drive us to the 14yr olds baseball game!
What I never took time to notice was that my husband and kids ( 17, 14, and 7) had cleaned my entire house! Now, let's get this straight- perhaps not like I would have cleaned it 6 months ago, but nevertheless, they did clean it.
I can see my laundry room floor for the first time in months. I'm hoping you all can relate- with busy schedules-everyone just throws their clothes TOWARD the laundry baskets! hahaha
Anyway, my 7 yr old still sleeps in our bed about every 3rd night. He was our little surprise at 40! When he was about 10 months old, we spent 8 days in the hospital testing him for everything from asthma to cystic fibrosis. Everything came back normal, so they sent him to surgery for a scope- he had a mis-shapen epiglottis. When it would become swollen, he had trouble breathing.
So we spent the next 6 months teaching him how to cough! It worked just fine- but I thought by golly if he quits breathing, I'm going to make sure he's right beside me if it happens!
You know what they say about ER nurses-they stamp out disease and save lives! His breathing has been perfect for the last 6 yrs-but there is just something about that blonde curly headed angel touching my face at 930 or 10pm every night, saying how soft my face is!
And I figure he will sleep in his own bed when he goes to college! I always said that about potty training too-
And yes, folks, I do try to remain positive. I think this forum is the best thing that has happened to me in about 6 months! I love getting on here and figuring out how to find the new posts!
Keep the faith,
brenda

 

[awieleba]

moms

proceed with caution:
to funny, he is a boy! both are. the 6 yr old is in the bathroom and yells "hey dad, wipe my butt"! so, believe it or not, I started pulling all the people I know that had boys about this. ( I am not shy). I was surprised, it is a little "dirty" secret out there amoung moms. Sure enough, almost every mom said yes! And this seemed to stop at about 7 or so. Well, I have tried to make him, he used so much toilet paper one time he flooded the bathroom. And the worst (yes I am going tell the story and only a mom could not wince at this one) he went to the bathroom and then wanted to see if all the poopy was gone, so he jumped up on the sink and turned to look in the mirror! poop was on the mirror! Totally gross I know, so needless to say it is easier to just help the poor boy! he has always had a poop problem, he was known in the sub as the "poop bandit" because he shut the pool down 3x for accidents. Really embarrising when all neighbors are lounging on a sunday afternoon and your son sends everyone home! Just a little potty humor for the day. I have babied them sooo much.

It does seem different with the girls. My daughter is only 8 months and she seems different at the start. MOre content. But I am sure give you problems later. I know I put my mom through the ringer from 16-18yrs old! pay backs are a b****!

They do grow fast, I am going to enjoy THIS day.

Take care. april

 

[Darlav]

Hey April and everyone

Hi April, I would definitely keep wiping for now. Sounds like it will keep you out of alot of mess!

Just thought I would chime in on the 'babying them too much' topic.

I too have tried to make my two children more independent due to my recent health concerns. It's just so scary to think I may not be able to do all that I do now. I am hoping if I am unable to do as much one day that their independence will help them adjust a little easier.

I have really babied mine as well (although they do sleep in their own beds--I need my sleep). I have found that by letting my 5yr old do more on her own, her self confidence has grown. Not only does she know she CAN do things for herself, she knows that I believe she can do it too! Things aren't always done quite right, but who cares. We have no perfectionists in our family. I am in no rush for them to grow up either.

Have a good evening everyone,
Darla

 

[awieleba]

I agree, independece will help them either way!

I have read and try to apply a parenting techinque called "love and logic".. It does work and it puts things back on the kids to figure out. When my son was 3-4 he was soooooooooo challenging and I had to rethink my parenting. Nothing seemed to work, he was and is the most strong willed boy. My friend who has masters in child phys. and works in school system (her son has adhd, also) shared this book (s). It REALLY does work! When done that is, it does requiring some more effort and thinking. But In the last year with pregnancy and the baby and getting sick, I have not applied it as well. It shows! So the best thing is to go back and do it, re-read the book. So, any moms with kids, even if they are not challenging, I suggest this book. The main thought of this is to foster independece and self esteem. It shows the things we do (like being a hover craft, like me) can have the oppiste effect on thier self image. anyway, you can google "love and logic" to check it out. Alot of schools and child therapists apply this teaching. Sorry to ramble, I just am reminding myself to get back on board with this, asap!

Take care all!

april

 

[Darlav]

HI April,

It's funny that you should mention a parenting book. I consider myself a 'self-help' junkie (all parenting/child rearing in nature). I have 3 partially read books I working on now. Thanks for the recomendation. I'm going to google it right now. I know I need help with letting my kids be more independant, but I am improving.

Hope all is well!

Darla

 

[Darlav]

HI April,

It's funny that you should mention a parenting book. I consider myself a 'self-help' junkie (all parenting/child rearing in nature). I have 3 partially read books I'm working on now. Thanks for the recomendation. I'm going to google it right now. I know I need help with letting my kids be more independant, but I am improving.

Hope all is well!

Darla

 

[awieleba]

books

Hi

OH GIRL, we are in the same boat---I am THE self help Queen! ( i actually gave one to my sister after she left her hubby, for her birthday. note---dont do that, she did not appreciate it , lol)

I have read them all, from the stong willed child to the timid shy child ( my 2 sons are so different) If they have a fight or anything, I run to the library and get a book on keeping friends and working out problems. It is in my nature to research everything! (that is how we all get here, i suppose)

Anyway, my opinion, this is an awesome system that works.(love and logic) And it makes since. Everytime I applied what they said, it worked! They have so many unique idea's and the most important thing to me rather than my kids listening is that they are strong and have great self esteem. So many times in disicpline we make mistakes or do what our folks did and it can have a negative impact on them. MY parents were yellers! I hated it as a child and I lost respect for them thinking "why are you yelling? cant you handle things". WEll sure enough I inheirted the yelling gene. So i work hard every minute of the day not to yell but think of other ways to get them to listen. And going quite usually has more of an effect.

Finally during my last pregnancy, I started reading "normal" books. It was hard, i felt like if i am taking the time to read I have to improve some how (kids, myself, marriage, tennis, career, you get the idea). After starting, it was great! what I relief to just get lost in a book instead of thinking "how can I apply this"

Well, I am off to take the kids to the tigers game. Wish me luck, I hope my leg doesnt cramp up or my arms turn into cement. Thank goodness my husband is there and we are in a suite.

PSSSSS...we need to change this thread name to "mom's corner"!

 

[fiddleplayer51]

Hey moms,
I just want you to know I think y'all are great! I'm so glad you found and have each other.
Guess what, April...I got the yelling gene too! :!: :-( But I was raising my kids 25 years ago. I wish I'd had the love and logic book then. My kids turned out okay though BTW.
Have fun in your corner!
Jane

 

[awieleba]

jane

Yes, I turned out ok despite the yelling!:-D

The one thing not yelling does is make me feel better. When using love and logic I dont always get the response i had hoped BUT I feel in control and that makes me a little better.

take care all!

 

[brendapals]

I should probably give my boys more credit. I just came home from my 7 yr old's baseball practice and my 14 yr old had washed my car! OMG! He even used something on the seats, armour all'd the floor mats-all because he was bored!
I did give him a huge hug- even though he is 6 ft 2 and weighs 200 lbs, he knows he is still very huggable!
I told him if he gets bored tomorrow while Mom and Dad are both at work, he can clean the refrigerator! hahahaha
Keep the faith,
brenda

 

[awieleba]

brenda

It sounds like you have a wonderful family!
It should be a comfort to know that they love you and want to take care of you. Boys are like that with thier moms.

One day when I had to move somethings around, my 6 yr old was like "dont worry mom I can help" well he wasnt strong enough (ya think at 6!). So the next day I found him in the work out room trying to lift wieghts to get stronger to help around the house and be strong like his daddy! he was into lifting those wieghts for a long time, I was concerned he would get a hernia! (they were only 5pnds).

Boys are sooo cute!

april

 

[Darlav]

Hi April, Brends, and all

How sweet your boys are! They, no doubt, love and want to help their mommies (no matter how big they are).

Sorry to be a "Debbie downer"(SNL), but I kind of had a bad weekend. A lot of twitching that wouldn't stop. I get so sad when my symptoms flare up. It's like I want to pretend everythings getting better, but my body won't let me, and I can't help but think about the worst.

I actually called Cleveland Clinic today to schedule my emg (a couple weeks earlier than planned). They have to call me back.

I want to get the test to see if something is really wrong, but a part of me is so scared to get the results. Of course my family keeps telling me I'm fine and sometimes I believe them. But if this test proves otherwise I'm afraid I'll feel hopeless.

I just want to be here to raise my children.

Oh well, I'd better get over my pitty party, wipe away the tears, and help get the girls ready for bed. I know so many have it worse. My prayers go out to you.

I like it better when we just do the 'mom chat' thing, but it helps to vent. Thanks for listening.

Darla

 

[crystalkk]

Darla,

You can vent anytime you want we are listening...all of this is very scary and this forum is the outlet.
this is probably the only place I can come and talk about my symptoms and how I feel. Everybody is going through the same thing so they can understand.

Hang in there,

 

[awieleba]

Darla,

You should always feel ok to vent! we can tell funny stories to cheer us up, but the fact remains that we are all here because of a common fear.

I feel just like you. Someone else posted this but i felt the same way. When my muscle's are twitching, it is like it is taunting me that my muscle's are dying. I know how it feels to try and go on with your life and then a twich or a muscle jump or jerk. You want to feel good but are too weak. It can be hard. I am only a little farther than you in this...i have this for 6months. well, I can tell you that i have alot of bad weekends but this weekend
was good (so there is hope). I was able to go out to dinner with sisters on friday and saturday run errand all day, hang with friends. and sunday we took the boys to see the Tigers (baseball). this is good is really good for me. I only had a little twiching and back aches. I was worried about the baseball game and it turned out to be fine! Yes, I was worn out and at night from it all I twitched, BUT i was able to enjoy. So take it from me--you will have good days and bad days.

YES, yes,yes,yes, did I say YES, you should call the cleavland clinic! Do not be afraid. I was so nervous and when they would stick the needle I would just hold my breath to see if it would make a loud noise. When they did the ncv, the doctor doing it was acting funny and then left the room and came back with my main doctor and 3 other's! I was like this is NOT good, but it turned out that I had the ulnar variant that 25% of the people have, not a problem. I was kinda hoping it was a nerve problem with my ulnar as the nerve shows a neuropthy that can be treated---bummer.

having my husband there was good and bad. After, he was like--see, I told you that you are fine. Soooooo, it is a mixed bag. He agree's that is somthing but wont go there.
So, I feel your pain. Get the ncv/emg and i hear from this site that the cleavland clinec is good.

Take care.

april

 

[brendapals]

Darla,
Yes, please vent on here! I personally think it helps all of us. I noticed today I had a few twitches around both eyes for a few seconds. It's really weird the stuff I have noticed in the last 6 weeks.
It was a fun night with my boys though-after the 7 yr old played TWO baseball games tonight, and the teenagers told me we needed toilet paper, we went to the 24hr open grocery. Well, the older boys wanted to go to Super WalMart where they could "roam around and have fun", I got to yell and tell them it was late, and gas was $4 a gallon, and the grocery was closer, so they ended up walking around in the grocery for 20 minutes!
I guess they were paying me back for yelling at them, which I shouldn't have done, but I guess I'm just tired. After all , it is 1130 pm at my house!
Good Night to everyone, and God bless you all,
brenda