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hobbit32

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Feb 19, 2009
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Loved one DX
Country
ma
State
ma
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winthrop
February 18, 2009 @ 10:24 pm my Mom had passed away. She has had ALS for 3 years before suddenly things accelerated rapidly. As I write this in memory of her, tears run down my face - what a brave women she was. Not the loss of her legs, voice or difficulty breathing ever caused her to complain. Instead she worried about her 4 kids and gave praise and advice in preparation of her death. She made amends for the anger that we may have had towards her, knowing in her heart that she could not let go unless we could. I know that she is watching me because the radio just played her two top songs she used to play all the time. I believe that she is in a better place and not suffering anymore. It will kill me to see my mother sitting on her lazy boy chair which became her home , head tilted to the left because of her muscles not responding. BUT when I would walk in to visit her, the smile she showed lit the world up. Imagine not a complaint or concern other than for her kids and our well being. She would cry in spurts because she suffered humiliation from not being able to wipe herself and not knowing when she was urinating. I would cry when I left her for the pain I felt for her suffering was unbearable.

She had contracted a lung infection and was rushed to the hospital because she had difficulty breathing. Before I got to see her , she had notified her doctor not to recessatate her and take the breathing tube which helped her live out. When I got there she was on a Morphine drip and felt no pain. She never regained consciousness and passed away quietly. She had requested that I be there when she passed and I promised her I would. I did not know it would be 2 days later. I held my Mom's hand for 6 hours, kissed her face and talked to her while she slipped away. I am elated to have kept my word and grateful for sending her off to a much better place. I believe she was tired of suffering and wanted to rest eternally in heaven. If I was there I would of selfishly convinced her to keep the breathing tube in so I would not lose my mom. I think she knew that and made the decision. I am proud of her strength and courage. I never got to say goodbye yesterday. I still do not believe my mom is gone and I miss her so. Grateful I am that she suffers no more, sad as hell that I cannot talk to her and see her smile or be comforted in times of confusion and sadness.

This is an awful disease one only the brave can bare. I have a deeper appreciation for what my mother was by how she quietly fought this disease. She is my heaven, my light, my strength, my warmth , my happiness, my optimism, my hope and my prayer. She taught me how to love unselfishly and to see the good in all things. In short, she was a gift from God for the all the hearts she touched and guided. I love you Mom . Rest now and be at peace.

Your son.. chuck
 
I'm so sorry for your loss. She was very blessed to have family like yours.

Sharonca
 
Our condolences to you, Chuck. What beautiful words you gave here... so heartfelt and true. May you be comforted by your precious memories. Your Mom will always love you. Marjorie and Rick
 
Chuck,

Please accept my condolences on the loss of your mother. That was a beautiful tribute to an amazing mother. Well done!

Zaphoon
 
So sorry for your loss Chuck.

AL.
 
My sympathy to you and your family, may you be blessed with wonderful memories of your mother
-brenda
 
What a beautiful tribute. You were both blessed with each others love. Take comfort in her peace now if you can. My prayers are with you
 
Chuck please accept my deepest sympathies. You really expressed her so beautifully through your words. Your love and hers came shining through. Thank you for sharing that. May you find peace and comfort in this difficult time.
 
February 18, 2009 @ 10:24 pm my Mom had passed away. She has had ALS for 3 years before suddenly things accelerated rapidly. As I write this in memory of her, tears run down my face - what a brave women she was. Not the loss of her legs, voice or difficulty breathing ever caused her to complain. Instead she worried about her 4 kids and gave praise and advice in preparation of her death. She made amends for the anger that we may have had towards her, knowing in her heart that she could not let go unless we could. I know that she is watching me because the radio just played her two top songs she used to play all the time. I believe that she is in a better place and not suffering anymore. It will kill me to see my mother sitting on her lazy boy chair which became her home , head tilted to the left because of her muscles not responding. BUT when I would walk in to visit her, the smile she showed lit the world up. Imagine not a complaint or concern other than for her kids and our well being. She would cry in spurts because she suffered humiliation from not being able to wipe herself and not knowing when she was urinating. I would cry when I left her for the pain I felt for her suffering was unbearable.

She had contracted a lung infection and was rushed to the hospital because she had difficulty breathing. Before I got to see her , she had notified her doctor not to recessatate her and take the breathing tube which helped her live out. When I got there she was on a Morphine drip and felt no pain. She never regained consciousness and passed away quietly. She had requested that I be there when she passed and I promised her I would. I did not know it would be 2 days later. I held my Mom's hand for 6 hours, kissed her face and talked to her while she slipped away. I am elated to have kept my word and grateful for sending her off to a much better place. I believe she was tired of suffering and wanted to rest eternally in heaven. If I was there I would of selfishly convinced her to keep the breathing tube in so I would not lose my mom. I think she knew that and made the decision. I am proud of her strength and courage. I never got to say goodbye yesterday. I still do not believe my mom is gone and I miss her so. Grateful I am that she suffers no more, sad as hell that I cannot talk to her and see her smile or be comforted in times of confusion and sadness.

This is an awful disease one only the brave can bare. I have a deeper appreciation for what my mother was by how she quietly fought this disease. She is my heaven, my light, my strength, my warmth , my happiness, my optimism, my hope and my prayer. She taught me how to love unselfishly and to see the good in all things. In short, she was a gift from God for the all the hearts she touched and guided. I love you Mom . Rest now and be at peace.

Your son.. chuck


Chuck,

This will be my exact situation at some point. My mother is battling this disease with as much grace as she possibly can. She is bedridden, no voice, feeding tube, and refusing any breathing assistance. Still, her smile lights up the room.
May God grant you peace.
 
Chuck,
My heart breaks for your loss. I hope you feel god's peace and comfort for you here on earth as well.

God Bless
Holly

My mother is in the same position as yours. I know your pain.
 
I am sorry for your loss, Chuck. You worte some lovely htings about your Mom. I bet she is proud to know you thought so much of her. Cordially, Cindy
 
hi chuck,

when i read yr text, tears are running contunious from my face.....
i feel so sad that you lost your mom....

at the same time, i feel also i am losing my mum too...
my mum has also ALS, and it is progressing....

Be strong , chuck!
Hug van me

Linda
 
Hi Chuck,

I know just how you are feeling. I lost my mom on Dec 22, 2008. She was a wonderful person and mother I am sure. She sounds alot like my mother. She made the choice not to have the breathing tube and the NDR when you were not there was truly her gift to you. My mom also made those same choices and even though we selfishly dont want them made, their strength and acceptance of this disease and death let them make it so we their children didnt have to.
It says so much about a parent who has gone through so much and still has the strength to protect us from making the hardest choices of our lives. Mothers are wonderful.
You can still talk to her! Talk your heart out she can see and hear every thing you want her to, she is in your heart.
My deepest sympathies, I will hold a place for you in my heart and prayers.

Wendy
 
Chuck,

One thing is clear, your mother was very lucky to have you as a son. Your words are lovely and heart felt. Please accept my condolences.

Thank you for posting.
-v
 
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