Missing Dad on Father's Day

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hboyajian

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This day hit me with a slam. I kept picking up the phone wishing I could call my dad, and wondering who to call instead. I called my Uncle who lost his wife just over a year ago and left a message. I hope he's out somewhere having a good time with his grandson. I'm really supposed to be writing report cards, but can't seem to get my mind focused. Went out in the yard to weed around a tree my dad and I planted a few years ago. It's about 8 feet tall now. Looking up into the leaves and watching the clouds drift by, I felt calmer.
 
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Hi Holly

As I sat with my dad in the hospital yesterday, I did think of your recent loss of your father.
I have been told the loss of a parent leaves a huge hole in our hearts. I know from your postings that you shared a great love with your father and I am sure he knew how much you cared and loved him. May you be comforted in God's peace and love.
 

saska

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Hi Holly,

I also thought of you yesterday, and also about Mike's sons. My father died when I was less than two years old, so I don't have any conscious memories of him...even so, I miss him on Father's Day and always. So, I can imagine how much harder it must be for someone who recently lost a parent. I love what you said about you and your dad's tree and feeling calmer.

I am so sorry for your pain, and commend you for taking care in your grief.

Blessings to you,
Sharon
 

MtPockets

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Hi Holly,

I wish peace for you as you remember your dad. It's good that you have the tree to remember him. I too have a special tree.

My wife and I planted a seven foot tall pecan tree in the back yard abut 2 years ago now, with the idea in mind that I would live long enough to see it bear pecans. Pecan trees usually do not produce nuts until they are about 10 years old.

Well, a couple of my grand sons were playing and running around the tree last winter and accidently broke the tree off with only about a foot of it left sticking out of the ground. My wife had them come inside and face grandpa and tell me what they had done. They were crying so hard they could barely speak, thinking I guess how mad gramps would be about his tree.

I calmed them down and told them I forgave them and thanked them for telling me the truth and accepting responsibility for their actions. (Boy, that's rare nowadays). I gave them a hug and said don't worry about it, we can always buy another tree. Gramps is not mad at you.

I never bought another tree, just left the one foot stump of a tree in the ground as sort of a reminder to me of my relationship with people and my attitude about things.

Surprise, this summer the tree sprouted new limbs and is growing like crazy. It's almost 3 feet tall now. How can that be? It looked totally DEAD.

I like to think that it was a sign for me from God, that if we have the right attitude about things, He will take care of the rest.

That tree is so special to me now, so much more than a full grown new tree, just knowing what it has gone through, It was dead as far as I was concerned, and now is alive.

It gives me something else to live for now. I've got to hang around long enough to see the fruit on that tree. Who knows? I'll do my best to make it. :)

God Bless
Capt AL
 

CindyM

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Oh Holly I was thinking about you today. The first major holidays without your Dad wukk be tough this year. takd care. regards, Cindy
 

hboyajian

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I am deeply touched and humbled by the kindness and wisdom of all of you on this forum. It confirms the common human experiences of loving and grieving, joy and suffering no matter who we are or where we live. I do not feel so anonymous and lost in this big world.
Capt Al, thank you for sharing the story of your tree and your grandchildren. You have your priorities straight.
 

pldo

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I lost my father to a brain tumor almost 6 years ago. Father's day is always tough. I just had a little girl and I went to see his father and sister for Father's Day but I wish that he were here. But we had a thing with sunsets and there was a beautiful one that night. I know that he lives on through my little girl who is named after him. Your dad lives on through you.
 

hboyajian

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Caring Daughter, how is your father? I have been thinking about you since you wrote that he is in the hospital. I hope that whatever he is there for, he is coming through it as well as possible, and that you are not alone in making sure they give him the care he needs. Here is a big hug for you.

Sharon, I think no matter how old you are when you lose a parent, it affects you deeply. The same goes for how old they are. The loss might take on a different tone, but is still a tremendous loss. I think that before this, I did not understand completely what people I know have experienced when a close family member has died. I have listened and tried to be supportive, but I did not really know how it was or realize that the pain does not pass, it just changes form.

Pldo, sunsets! yes! I haven't been paying attention to them with the busyness of life, and I really need to take the time look at the sky more.

Annmarie, I had not realized you have just lost a parent, too, and just around the same time. My heart goes out to you. It must be very hard to be dealing with your own serious health problems when going through such grief all at once.

Cindy, Thanks, you are always there for everyone. I can't imagine how you keep up with all these posts and with all the people and our individual situations, also with your own dilemmas. You are amazing!

Love to all, Holly
 

CindyM

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Thanks Holly, for the vote of support! You guys have touched me in ways I can't describe, that's why it is easy to keep up most of the time. Of course there is a lot of stuff I don't remember, like what I ate for breakfast today or the last work-related phone call I made just 10 minutes ago. :-D Cindy
 
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