- Joined
- May 9, 2016
- Messages
- 1,529
- Reason
- Lost a loved one
- Diagnosis
- 06/2016
- Country
- US
- State
- MN
- City
- Minneapolis
I’ve sold my house. I close on 6/1. I am going to rent an apartment for a year or two and then just see if I even care to dive back into owning.
D. is doing reasonably well. No substantial progression this past year though his speech is somewhat worse, he has actually gained almost 10 pounds via protein shakes, his foot sores are improving. We are working to get him transferred to a SNF in Minnesota near me and nearer his friends here in his original home city. I go to Seattle every three - four weeks for now. I stay most of the time right with him, at his his facility - its good that we can do that.
As to this house where Brian and I shared everything, and where I experienced some of the very best and very worst moments of my life, it‘s time. One day I was talking to a friend and said that I’d spent three years waking up to have coffee in the living room Brian died in and I am just needed to be done. I look around this house and see the place where I first realized he had drop foot, and where he showed me the hand issue that said beyond a doubt to me that combined with his other issues, a second opinion would only say ALS. I see where he first fell, I see where he was when we realized steps were no longer a possible thing.
Forgive me for mentioning religion, but I am now a non believer, yet just thinking of all Brian went through in this house brings back the religious aspects of my upbringing, stations of the cross…Why a wonderful man suffered so much will always be beyond me, but that is of course the question of life itself, everyone’s.
I had a friend recently go into a confrontational mode with me, saying that my whole “thing” with D, she thought was truly about Brian, and that it was just clutching back at him, trying to “save” him in effigy. I said first off, I felt that was absolutely not so for a number of reasons, and my love for D is very genuine and very much about HIM, not Brian, but here’s the other thing: worst case, she was right and the outcome is that a man dealing with ALS has love and care and healthcare advocacy in his life that was lacking before! No response but “well, I suppose”. I realize that such talk is well intended, and that my story is highly unusual, but there you have it.
Packing and more packing this next nine days, and working a full week too. Busy is good.
Enjoy the summer everyone.
D. is doing reasonably well. No substantial progression this past year though his speech is somewhat worse, he has actually gained almost 10 pounds via protein shakes, his foot sores are improving. We are working to get him transferred to a SNF in Minnesota near me and nearer his friends here in his original home city. I go to Seattle every three - four weeks for now. I stay most of the time right with him, at his his facility - its good that we can do that.
As to this house where Brian and I shared everything, and where I experienced some of the very best and very worst moments of my life, it‘s time. One day I was talking to a friend and said that I’d spent three years waking up to have coffee in the living room Brian died in and I am just needed to be done. I look around this house and see the place where I first realized he had drop foot, and where he showed me the hand issue that said beyond a doubt to me that combined with his other issues, a second opinion would only say ALS. I see where he first fell, I see where he was when we realized steps were no longer a possible thing.
Forgive me for mentioning religion, but I am now a non believer, yet just thinking of all Brian went through in this house brings back the religious aspects of my upbringing, stations of the cross…Why a wonderful man suffered so much will always be beyond me, but that is of course the question of life itself, everyone’s.
I had a friend recently go into a confrontational mode with me, saying that my whole “thing” with D, she thought was truly about Brian, and that it was just clutching back at him, trying to “save” him in effigy. I said first off, I felt that was absolutely not so for a number of reasons, and my love for D is very genuine and very much about HIM, not Brian, but here’s the other thing: worst case, she was right and the outcome is that a man dealing with ALS has love and care and healthcare advocacy in his life that was lacking before! No response but “well, I suppose”. I realize that such talk is well intended, and that my story is highly unusual, but there you have it.
Packing and more packing this next nine days, and working a full week too. Busy is good.
Enjoy the summer everyone.